To K — I almost messaged you today.
i almost messaged you today.
my morning started in the dark. a misunderstanding with my mom left me feeling entirely overwhelmed, carrying a weight i couldn't seem to bear alone. in that heavy silence, muscle memory took over. it was a familiar, instinctive ache to reach out to you—the one person i knew would understand without me needing to explain. you always had this quiet way of anchoring me, of eradicating the chaos in my mind and replacing it with calm.
but then the reality settled in. we don’t talk anymore. it has been over a year since we last spoke, and i am the one who drew the line of silence between us.
we were best friends since college, keepers of each other’s brightest highs and darkest lows. we used to stay up late, talking about everything and nothing, lost in the beautiful stupidity of youth. but somewhere in the midst of our shared universe, i fell for you.
when you found love, the spaces we used to occupy together had to shrink. out of respect for your new chapter, i stepped back. I left without a word, choosing instead to love you from the shadows.
it has been more than a year of absence, yet my heart still hasn't learned the timeline. whenever the world gets too loud or sadness creeps in, my first instinct is still to run to you, seeking the comfort that used to make the rest of the world fade away.
i miss my best friend. i miss you desperately. yet, i know in my heart that things are better this way. you are happy, and your happiness is all I have ever wanted.
i love you in ways that defy language—a quiet, enduring love that asks for nothing in return.
some things are beautiful precisely because they are left unsaid.
so, i will keep loving you in the quiet, hoping the world treats you as gently as you used to treat me.
💙