Honestly, I think a lot of us are just waiting for that one person to sit us down, look us in the eyes, and say: “I’m not giving up on you. You’re worth it. I’m going to treat you the way you deserve. I’m going to learn how to love you right, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Not because we need saving, but because being chosen consistently feels rare these days.
May we all eventually hold a love that heals the places we were forced to be strong alone. The kind of love where you look at a person and realize the entire agonizing delay was just the universe preparing a masterpiece. May you find that rare, undeniable certainty, a love that finally answers all the quiet, desperate prayers you made in the dark when you felt completely invisible, making you brave enough to take one last, terrifying leap of faith and risk your entire heart just to hold onto their forever.
Nagreinstall ako ng dating app pero bakit ikaw pa rin yung hinahanap ko roon?? Bigyan mo kasi ako ng sign. Pakita mong meron ka nang iba. O kaya iblock mo na ko. Di ko kasi magawa eh. Utang na loob. Either a sign or a hard rejection would do. I’d take anything at this point. Ayaw ko nga lang magreach out sayo kasi I don’t wanna look that desperate. Hahahaha
I hope I get to speak with you again, see your face, smile and laugh again. I know things are the way they are, ( though I wish they weren’t), but I still want you, need you, and crave you. Your voice, thoughts, and points of view so different than mine, all of it was home. You were my home. I know I didn’t handle everything the right way but life is messy and I did what I thought was best. Retrospective makes it easy to see the mistakes I made but I never thought it would lead us to where we are. No matter what I will always be here forever hoping.
- I love you always.
Not bc I stopped caring.
Not bc every memory disappeared.
Not bc what we shared meant nothing.
But bc somewhere along the way, I finally understood that love alone cannot hold together something that was never fully at peace within itself.
For a long time, I kept trying to make sense of us.
I kept revisiting the memories, the promises, the tenderness, the moments that felt real to me. I kept wondering how something that once felt so sincere could eventually leave me carrying confusion more than certainty.
And maybe that was the hardest part,
not losing you,
but slowly realizing that I could not build peace inside the cycle we became.
I understand things more clearly now.
I no longer confuse emotional intensity with emotional readiness.
I no longer mistake longing for stability.
And I no longer believe that loving someone deeply is enough to save a connection where clarity, consistency, and groundedness are missing.
That realization hurt me once.
But now, it frees me.
Bc despite everything, I know my love was real.
I loved you sincerely.
I chose you honestly.
I stayed longer than I probably should have bc I believed in the good parts of you, even while the uncertainty was already hurting me.
And truthfully, I do not regret that.
You became an important chapter in my life.
One that changed me deeply.
You reminded me that my heart knew how to love, with softness, compassion, loyalty, patience, and care, even after all the pain I had already carried for us.
But you also taught me something equally important, that I should never abandon my own peace trying to hold onto someone who never settled searching for theirs.
I think that is why I cannot hate you.
Bc when I look back now, I no longer see someone cruel.
I see someone who was still trying to outrun wounds they did not yet know how to sit with.
And maybe that searching will continue for a while.
Maybe one day it won't.
But I genuinely hope you find the kind of peace that no longer requires constant searching, constant proving, constant escaping, or constant reinvention.
I hope one day you experience a love that feels safe enough for you to stay fully present in it.
I hope one day you no longer feel the need to search endlessly for affection just to quiet the loneliness inside you.
I hope one day you discover that genuine connection cannot be built through constant escape, performance, longing, or reinvention.
And I hope one day you meet yourself honestly too, enough that love no longer feels like something you need to chase or secure before it disappears.
Beneath all the confusion, I still saw someone human.
And maybe that is why, even after everything, a part of me still reached out one last time.
Not bc I was asking you to come back.
Not bc I wanted to hold onto us.
But bc I cared for you quietly, even as I was already learning how to let you go.
That is the final truth of my love for you.
It remained soft even after it stopped reaching.
But now, it is time for me to return fully to myself.
To the peace I found in solitude.
To the version of me that no longer mistakes intensity for safety.
To the understanding that love should never require me to lose clarity just to keep it alive.
This experience gave me lessons too.
May I never again confuse emotional hunger for emotional readiness.
May I never again build a home inside someone who is still running from themselves.
May I never again abandon my own peace trying to love someone into becoming whole.
And may connections rooted in confusion, inconsistency, longing, and emotional instability no longer find their way into my life.
Not bc I hate those kinds of people.
But bc I finally understand that love should not feel like constantly trying to hold water in my hands.
I deserve a love that feels grounded, honest, calm, and clear.
A love that does not make me question whether I truly existed inside it at all.
And despite everything, I still hope life becomes softer for you someday.
As for me,
I have finally reached the end of my grieving.
I no longer need to carry the pain of us forward.
The version of me that once waited for you through silence, kept loving you through confusion, uncertainty, and quiet tears deserves rest now.
I finally know how to give that to her.
You were my first deep attachment.
And maybe that is why losing you once felt like losing a future I had already begun building quietly inside my heart.
But now I understand,
not every connection is meant to become a home.
Some people enter our lives to awaken us.
Some arrive to teach us what we can survive.
And some leave behind lessons so deep that they permanently change the way we will love from then on.
You were one of those people for me.
So this is where I let this story end.
Not with bitterness.
Not with anger.
Not with the need to be remembered.
Just with the quiet understanding that I loved sincerely,
learned painfully,
and survived completely.
May you truly heal from the deep wounds you carry.
May you find peace in the places that no longer hold you.
May the weight of your pasts drift gently from your heart.
And may you someday discover that the kind of connection you were searching for was never something you had to outrun yourself to find.
Know that you were loved sincerely.
Thank you for all the memories. The good ones that made me happy, and the bad ones too that taught me lessons I will always carry forward.
Now,
with gratitude for what was real,
with acceptance for what was not,
with softness in my heart and calm in my spirit,
and with peace finally resting inside my heart,
I set us both free.
This chapter has come to an end.
This is me, v.. finally saying.. goodbye, my love.. finally, letting go of you. 🍃
J, I know you're here i just want u to know na sobrang miss kita.
Sana makapag usap tayo. Maayos. Idk maybe im a lil bit drunk but yes totoo gusto talaga kitang makausap.
U know where to find me, just msg me or call.
this morning i realized i’ve mourned you enough.
i spent time with you.
i loved you the best way i knew how.
i cried, i stayed, i held on for as long as i could.
and maybe that’s enough now.
Grief cannot be a home forever.
i don’t regret loving you.
i think part of me always will still love you..
but i’m tired of carrying the hurt everywhere i go.
so this will be my last day grieving us like this.
not because you meant nothing,
but because you meant so much to me that i almost forgot myself trying to keep you.
i loved you.
i really did.
and now i think i finally have to let you go.
Paalam, Mahal ko.
I dreamt of you, again. For the third time this week.
I can’t get over you even though I feel like I still don’t know you all that well after all the time we’ve talked.
What does all these dreams even mean?
Why does it confuses me every time I wake up?
Why do I have tears in my eyes when I dream of you?
I don’t get it, I like to believe that I can get over you by forcing myself to stop thinking about you.
I can’t stop thinking about you,
In fact I think about you more now that you’re gone.
I wish I could say this all to you, even not in person.
But I’m afraid that I am a coward that doesn’t have the courage to even tell you one bit, at-least not now, maybe not even the future.
If this is yearning, well fuck this is hard.
The more I try to not think about you, US, the more I want to try again and maybe it will work this time.
I know that it won’t happen, but these dreams of mine tell me that there’s happiness if we chose to fight rather than surrender without even trying.
I hope these dreams stop, but a part of me doesn’t want it to.
Because in my dreams I can see you, US.
I’m just wondering, if you met this current version of me instead, would it have worked? Kasi when you met me I was not okay mentally eh. I had so much shit going on. Sabay sabay na major life changes. And that’s probably one thing you don’t know about me. Na I get really anxious pag may pagbabago. You left because you probably didn’t want to deal with all that.
I’d say right now naprocess ko naman na yung mga bagay bagay so I’m in a better headspace. Kaya ayun, napaisip lang bigla haha. Pero a part of me feels like nakalimutan mo naman na ako. You probably have someone new already. I guess I’ll never know. And okay na rin yun siguro? Idk. Haha
Living in this delusion that somehow you still think of me, and would feel that way forever. Until that someday we meet again.
It's a fantasy I've created. When reality might otherwise slap me with the possibility that you've moved on and have found someone else.
Why would I want to know that? What I don't know won't hurt me. And what you don't know wouldn't bother you either.
So I'll continue to remain ignorant... believing a possibility that only comes with not knowing.
I still reach out to you on the other side of the bed every night and imagine you being there.
I know you are not, but just imagining gives me comfort.
Hey you, yes you.
Naging ok daw tayo, sabi sa panaginip ko. Namessage kita pero hindi ko alam na ikaw yon. Tapos sabi mo, ikaw yon. Pero kahit na naging ok tayo, nag-away ata tayo ulit. Masakit ka pa rin magsalita. Ayon, tapos nagising na ako.
I have been lacking sleep lately. The only time na maganda ang tulog ko, napanaginipan pa kita. Bummer. Akala ko totoo na paggising ko ok na tayo ulit.
Pero sa waking life, ok lang na wala ka. Pero sana ok ka at sana marami na nagreply sayong girls na mga minessage mo sa r4r na naghahanap ng connections ans sensible talks. Para mapalitan mo na ako. Sana wag ka na maglie sa bagong ako mo.
- 👀
If you happen to have another Reddit account,
If you happen to have seen this,
If you happen to think that you're tired of cruising from one person to another, but you're just feeling shy to say it, or waiting for it to come from me,
If you happen to also believe we have a chance to build something more stable,
Send me a message, please. I have a lot to tell you.
But if you think you'll be happier if you keep doing what you're doing, I won't hold it against you.
P.S. So sorry I got busy and distracted and I sometimes I don't know how to simplify the thoughts in my head using words/texts. I prefer hopping on a call. I have to give myself an ultimatum to keep myself sane. So if I don't hear from you after a week, I'm gonna have to get off of Reddit again for months so I can forget and heal. Hope you're doin' fine. You take care. 😊
Sometimes I'm just sad that I don't get to open up sa inyo. I feel weak and utterly worthless human being. I left our house and yet I feel homesick. I realized I don't really know what home feels like but still despite being away from you guys, I still miss you. I wish we're the type of family who shows affection to each other but I guess this is just how things are gonna be. I attempted to take my life and failed. I wish I could tell you guys. But I can't. I'll always be lonely. I'll always be alone. I don't smoke or drink and yet being this lonely is still bad for me. Ma, I wish your cooking.
To my family, my siblings, my pet, my love — I wish I could tell you guys about what I'm going through. Yet, I can't. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry. I feel like a loser.
Dear Tin,
Maybe this is how longing works, no matter how loudly the world demands my time, or how deeply I bury myself in work, the silence after everything is done still brings me back to you. I end up staring into space, thinking of you all over again, as if your memory refuses to leave me alone. When will you reach out again? Haunt me, even just once more, because lately food, sweets, and sleep no longer feel enough to recharge the emptiness your presence used to fill.
I tried to get us back together many times, but nothing happened. I don't feel that you love me. I feel like I'm the only one convenient for you. Just remember me when you need me. Even though I love you, I chose her because I think she genuinely loves me. You don't seem real. But now, I still remember you. I'd rather be with you, even if your love is conditional. Too late though. I have my responsibilities now. If I could go back, I would have chosen you. I guess I'm still happy now. I don't have any news from you. I guess you're happy.
I still listen to your playlist every now and then, wondering if any of the songs you added are (still) about me.
I'm missing you a little extra today. Sana miss mo rin ako
To Kevin:
I miss you so much. I can’t even find the exact words to explain how I’m feeling right now, but I truly do miss you deeply.
I just want you to be honest with me. I want to understand you, know your thoughts, your feelings—everything. Whether it’s good or bad, I still want to love you through all of it.
No matter how beautiful our memories are, they’re not enough for me because I’m still longing for you, for us.
Please message me when you read this, and you're ready to be open. I want to see you again. I'm scared I might not recognize your face anymore. I’ll be waiting for you.
Mukhang busy ka na lately, so I’ll go ahead and give you space. Just want you to know that I genuinely enjoyed talking with you.
Oo nga pala, There’s actually something I wrote for you. Tula, kataga o pwede ding liham, actually hindi ko rin alam. Basta mga salitang may dalang alaala....at ikaw ang laman.
But I won’t send it here. Part of me thinks some words are meant to travel on their own.
So I’ll leave it to the stars, destiny, or whatever force listens to quiet feelings… if it’s meant to reach you, maybe someday it will.
Hahayaan na lang na ang mundo ang magpasya.
09 • N 4 | E 28
Giliw, kahit ayaw nang pansinin ang bawat mong galaw,
ang mga mata at tenga ko'y sayo pa rin naliligaw.
Umiiwas man na maguluhan at magbalik-tanaw,
pangungulila pa rin sayo ang nag-uumapaw.