u/BubblyOne_50

I know that my husband and I become exs next month. I'm worried about the Trauma Bond. I'll finally be in my new place on my own with my son.

I certainly hope to have the strength to let him go fully as I move on. I truly don't want this Trauma Bond to continue. I'd like peace in my new journey. 🌸

Woohoo! I have a blank slate backyard here in SE AZ. So many plans for an arid friendly environment for me and my dog. Can you say Texas Sage, Bird of Paradise, and colorful rock and pavers? Let's do it!

February 20th was my 55th birthday. February 22nd was the day he told me he cheated. On May 17th, we would be married 18 years and together 19. My life was forced to change in an absolute flash. Today, I am currently in the process of moving to my new place. The divorce is obviously inevitable. We filed in April since I demanded we hold strong commitment to the family dynamic until after our youngest graduates High School (at least). Graduation is May 18.

I still have some love for him. I know why. Because those small parts and pieces hold memory, chemistry, teamwork, and friendship. The other part (which is the majority) is ready to start a new life. Fresh start standing on my own two feet.

The truth is, he thought he could just tell me he cheated and be done with it. I took initiative to investigate. It didn't make sense to me. He made up a story that a woman approached him at a QT store, said he was attractive and gave him her number. He stuck to that for the 8 weeks after the truth. Why? I know why now. Because he was online commenting relentlessly on many other wonens' posts and profiles. And the one woman who got the most attention was actually HER! Yes, Reddit has a sick and scary cesspool of porn marked NSFW. Don't deny you all have been here out of curiosity. It can change your thought process, provoke digital infidelity, which leads to physical infidelity.

This and other social worlds are very good at hiding it! I called her and him out for destroying our marriage and in the end I halted from public humiliation. But I am sick at the fact that he held that lie about meeting her at QT. He watched me lose myself. Destroy photos and memories. Beg for honesty. For what? To protect himself and her so they can keep up their private communication. Let me also add that she is married with 3 kids. We are finally at peace due to the full truth being out. I'll deal with all of it when I heal in June.

One thing I have to say is that I am struggling with trust. Are there any loyal men out there still? Men who want to go through the good AND bad times with someone? And this social media situation. Really? You think you can keep it a secret? There are so many tools and resources used to find out. I'm a good woman. Valentine's day was the day he was physical with her. It's my favorite holiday. Sadly it's not any longer. I'm sad and disgusted at times but empowered and strong many many many other times. Thanks for reading. Thanks for the support. I know I'm not alone. 🌸🌸🌸