What would you do
I’m struggling a lot with my husband’s family dynamics and need advice.
My husband has an elder brother and sister-in-law, and I strongly feel that my mother-in-law is extremely biased toward them. She constantly praises her elder son and his wife in front of everyone, even though both sons contribute equally financially and emotionally. I lived with them for 2 months after marriage and noticed that my sister-in-law barely helped in the house, yet my mother-in-law would excessively praise her all the time.
I also feel that my brother-in-law and sister-in-law constantly influence my mother-in-law against me by saying negative things behind my back. Even my father-in-law recently told me that they “put oil in the fire” and turn my MIL against me. Whenever I started distancing myself for peace, they used that too by telling my MIL that I don’t talk to her or care about her.
Another issue is that I feel excluded in conversations. My MIL mostly talks only to my husband when I’m present, and my sister-in-law also tries to get my husband’s attention constantly while ignoring me.
Before marriage, my husband’s family had suddenly backed out once, but my husband took a stand for me and we eventually got married. We had already told them before marriage that we would move out after marriage because their flat was too small, and they had agreed. We moved out within a few months, but the tension still continues.
The hardest part is that my husband doesn’t want conflict with his family. He says he doesn’t want to spoil his relationship with his brother, even if they behave badly toward me. I feel emotionally unsupported because I want him to take stronger stands for me.
I’ve become emotionally exhausted and have mostly cut myself off from them now, but I still keep hoping that one day my husband fully realizes their behavior and sets proper boundaries.
Has anyone dealt with similar in-law politics, favoritism, gossip, and emotional manipulation? How did you handle it without damaging your marriage?