Hello everyone,
(my first post was deleted I didn’t check the rules)
I really need some advice…
After months of suspicion, my boyfriend finally admitted that he did cheat on me one night, few months ago.
We had argued (long-distance, I wasn’t in the same city), and during a night out with alcohol, things heated up between him and another woman, and they ended up sleeping together.
Afterwards, he blocked her, which raised my suspicions. Unfortunately for him, there was a screenshot on his phone showing a call from her at 1 a.m. that night. Of course, the call had been deleted… I ended up playing Sherlock Holmes while he denied everything.
For context: they had already had a few encounters before we met. She is older and also a friend of his parents. So I have to stay discreet about it.
Of course he is at fault, he didn’t respect his responsibility toward me, and I was cheated on.
But I also know her a little: she knew he had a girlfriend, and even though we had argued (the same night so…), that doesn’t change the facts. I feel like she showed no respect, no sense of solidarity as a woman. (She also was cheated on)
The main problem is that I’ll probably have to see her again given the family/friends context (I actually already have, and I didn’t know at the time). I don’t want her to be hypocritical—I’ll carry this hurt every time I’ll see her, and it feels unhealthy…
I told my boyfriend that, to take responsibility for his actions, he will have to send her a message saying they will no longer have personal contact. We will keep things to polite, cordial greetings only, with no familiarity, and maintain distance.
Do you think my anger toward her is justified, or is she as much a victim as I am? Is she at fault?
I’m hesitating to send her a message to understand what happened and why—should I go for it ? Am I overreacting on her ?
Thank you all for your advice… I feel lost.
(Sorry if this was too long!!)