Stuck in India after decade overseas. Just gooning & sleeping all the time.
I'm stuck here for long reasons. My brain hurts hearing Indian languages and even the Indian English accent because I didn't have a nice time growing up here before I left for Canada and Europe. Unfortunately due to many reasons including health, family and money I couldn't figure out a way to remain there.
Now I'm back here all I see is jealousy from others who are arrogant cause they've never been humbled from going outside to realize how backwards we are, overpriced low quality no vfm goods, pointless over competitive unproductive corrupt high taxed low pay roles abusive underemployment with no innovation. My family has less means to send me out again but they're denying it and I'm also scared of downgraded wageslaving just to survive until I figured out remote passive income means or startup in something creative I'm passionate about. Unfortunately premium foreign clients avoid non-tech Indian freelancers and investors here are a joke by themselves and I'm losing hope for ways to make money as things go, forget quality of life factors.
I found girls be it paid or unpaid way more pleasant and receptive overseas compared to here in India where anyone remotely attractive has so much ego and a shield. Not to mention that for 50 euros/5kinr I could get southern European/middle eastern girls much prettier than bollywood models ( who cost 10x more here with worse attitude and service) in German sauna clubs full service or french Canadian strip clubs full contact. I had an addiction where I used to pay for sex and when I ran out of money ( for other reasons) got addicted to drugs that helped me hallucinate very realistic interactions with women in VR and those are not easy to get here.
I've dropped away my previous plans for getting married and raising a family long ago even in the west and my chances of saving up enough to move overseas or reskilling up technically seems too long and tedious and uncertain that all I do now is sleep 16 hours a day hoping to recall positive lucid dreams and stumble into ai video generated VR pov porn (for which I don't even have enough money to customize).
I always looked into the creative industry but I hate Bollywood other Indian film culture and don't find it relatable at all in fact I regret not avoiding Indians when overseas cause people want to stick to the familiar tbf my experience would've been much better had I gone somewhere with much less south asians like Spain where learning a second European language (which I was lazy too) would've been a barrier. Now I'm stuck in a place I didn't have a choice of being born in and stuck to people I regret not avoiding overseas for numerous reasons that led me to this state.