u/BullfrogSure1422

I’m going through what feels like a major episode/chapter/monsoon of mental fog caused by menopause, adhd and grief all at once. Today at work I noticed I couldn’t function well and I am very alarmed and worried my boss and supervisor pull the trigger and let me go. One of them actually said I should try and get FMLA but I know FMLA doesn’t apply to the loss of a pet.

I see a therapist and a psychiatrist but they said they don’t do FMLA paperwork. I am seeing another one next week hoping they can help, but I feel like that’s too far away and everyday that goes by I feel at risk of losing my job. This place is a VERY toxic and rigid workplace and has little no empathy for these things.

I just came back from a one week vacation so I don’t even want to take more time off. I’m so stressed out, not sure how to proceed and I also don’t make great money enough to run to a lawyer.

Any tips, suggestions, help would be greatly appreciated.

🇲🇽🙋🏽‍♀️🇺🇸👨 Married for 3yrs, together for 8. This is my second white spouse (my first one passed and we were very happy). I have realized my husband is annoyed whenever I say “white people this, or that…” although I’m not referring to him and I am well aware not ALL white people are racist, nor the same, just like any human.

However, this has hit me hard. Like I can’t speak freely in my own house or feel safe with him whenever I share how I feel racism in certain spaces by white folks. He says it’s how I say it, but in all honesty, I have been using my same tone all my life with my white friends, my white ex spouse and none of them ever complained to me.

I explained to him that if we lived in Mexico I’d probably also vent about my own people, about the classism, the racism within our country, etc.. so it’s also not just about racism, I’m sometimes making observations like you’d make them with a bestie.

I’m heartbroken because he simply doesn’t get it and I feel like this is huge and I can no longer be myself around him.

White people: how do you feel about your partner talking about your race, especially when venting about them? Or criticizing? And also, how would you prefer it’s done?