r/interracialdating

I have friends who often stray from their relationship to have sex with women of other races. They claim vagina of the different races have different textures and feel different. They are attracted to the variety. Has that been your experience? If so has it been a factor in your choice of partner.

For those of you who dated your own race but preferred another race how did those relationships work out? Did you feel you were settling? We're you attracted to your same race partners but secretly wishing for another race person?

how come in the USA 75% of interracial relationships the man is always a darker complexion than the women. this has been the trend now for almost 20 years. I have worked for research companies that do stat tracking on dating apps and i have found on multiple sites that women tend to like darker complexion men then them. and vice versa men who are ”minorities “ prefer lighter skinned women then them . why is that? i mean it aligns as to why I see so many young white men alone , compared to young latino/african American men. I just wanted to see what responses I get from this. me personally I love being single and would not want to be in any kind of long term relationship. no matter what she looks like lol that’s just my opinion tho

I’m coming from a place of curiosity and looking for guidance.

**TL;DR:** This is my first healthy relationship, and now that we’re almost three months in, I’m starting to think about long-term compatibility instead of just enjoying the honeymoon phase. My boyfriend is kind and treats me well, but I’m concerned about a few borderline racial comments, his family’s unhealthy communication, and whether those patterns could affect our future marriage and kids. I love him and want to give the relationship a fair chance, but I also want to be realistic because I’m dating with marriage in mind.

—— full story—-
I recently got my first boyfriend, and I’m almost 26 years old. Before him, I mostly dealt with guys who only wanted to sleep with me and never wanted to commit. The longest I ever really talked to someone before this was about a month.

Now my boyfriend and I are coming up on three months together. From the beginning, he’s been amazing—a true gentleman who treats me with kindness and makes me feel so loved. But now that we’re reaching the three-month mark, I feel like the honeymoon phase is wearing off, and I’m starting to notice things that make me question our long-term compatibility.

One of the biggest things is that we’re an interracial couple. There have been two or three comments he’s made that weren’t outright racist but made me think, “Why would you say that when your girlfriend is a different race?” I’ve talked to him about it, and he always apologizes and says he’ll do better. I appreciate that, but it’s frustrating because I’ve spent so much of my life having to stand up for myself, and I don’t want to spend my marriage teaching my spouse about issues that affect me personally.

I’ve also noticed his family argues a lot, and it really stresses me out. I finally told him I didn’t want to be around constant bickering or feel like the mediator every time we’re together. He agreed with me, admitted I was right, and said he’d work on it.
I’m also thinking about the future. I know I want marriage and three or four kids, and I want a peaceful family life. Sometimes I worry that because of the family dynamic he grew up with, he could end up becoming the kind of dad who’s always frustrated or annoyed, and that’s not the life I want for my future children.

This is my first healthy relationship, so it’s also my first time seriously thinking about whether someone could be my husband. I love my boyfriend, and I’m still getting to know him, but I feel guilty for already having these questions. I want to take this relationship seriously while also being realistic because I know no one is perfect.

I am just curious to hear other people’s thoughts here, since this is a sub about interracial dating. Me personally, I do prefer one ethnicity over others, but I do think it is a little weird. I am not open about this for sure. How about you all? Do you think it’s weird to prefer one ethnicity while dating?

I already know I'll never let you go with Meagan Good

I can’t help but notice more multiethnic relationships and think what drives these people to take the plunge? I have a few answers in my head but want to hear what other people are thinking. I do find it interesting and love to see it. So yea, what do you think?

My friend group is pretty diverse and the topic of dating preferences came up, and in regards to Asians, they basically said that Asian women have no problem in dating non-Asians, while for someone like me, it’s going to be much more difficult, and that my only options are pretty much other East Asians or occasionally White women. I haven’t really clicked with any of the Asian women I’ve seen, and I don’t really find White people that attractive, so I just feel kinda stuck. They said I had basically zero chance with non-Asian WOC, which sucks since that’s what I prefer, particularly Hispanic and/or Black.

I have never date outside my race! How does one start? I’m assuming I am mainly attractive to black men because that’s what approaches me the most. How does one make other races feel more welcomed to approach or converse?

Hi guys,

Four years ago I made a post about my boyfriend and I going on a trip to meet his family and my apprehension because his dad didn’t approve and didn’t want to meet me. https://www.reddit.com/r/interracialdating/s/OlhhYsWbHj

I have had so many DMs in the past four years from people in a similar situation wanting to know how it worked out so I’m making a post.

We’re getting married next month!

We took the trip and met his family. Almost everyone went out of their way to welcome me and make me feel comfortable. His grandparents threw me a welcome party and his cousins came from another city to meet me. I was deeply touched. It was a success all in all.

His father, however, did not come around until this year. He extended an olive branch and we met on neutral ground and had a good conversation. There is a lot of water under the bridge, however, and I don’t see us becoming “friends”. We have an understanding and we are civil to one and other for love of my fiancé. Prior to this, my fiancé and his father hadn’t really spoken since our trip four years ago.

He is not attending our wedding but most other members of my fiancé’s family are coming, including a lot of his father’s family and we have the unreserved blessing of both sets of his grandparents. Our families have met and they are fully taking part in a traditional wedding ceremony from my culture too.

I am now certain it was a religion thing and not a race thing.

I’m not going to say the situation wasn’t tough at the time, it certainly was. It also allowed my fiancé to show up for me and stand up to his dad and prove to me that he will protect me and our family and I come first to him.

I couldn’t be more excited to be his wife.

My bf (Korean-American 30) and I (Latina-American 29) celebrated our 4 year anniversary yesterday. And what was meant to be a celebration and happy conversation about our future, ended up with both us depressed haha.

My bf has just told me that during their most recent family vacation, that his father will not be allowing him into the family business ( presumably the family in general too) if he marries me.

They have been dangling this family business over his head for years, from hounding him to quit his job to join the business a year ago to now. He ended up quitting his job to work the family business.

Now all of a sudden it comes with strings. As I always suspected. While he has always told me that he wants a future with me, I didn’t realize that this was a possibility. His parents refused him the family business when he was telling them it was getting serious between us, but they let up and allowed him to work. I didn’t truly think they would do this.

Now, we’re in limbo. Unsure if he’ll actually leave the family business to be with me, potentially cutting off his parents, (only his older sister really accepts us, younger doesn’t ever have an opinion, but I assume she thinks the same as he parents).

We talked and he said he wants to be with me. And he doesn’t looked stressed..but he’s like he has to find another job, start at square one essentially. Has to tell his parents his decision. Which he’ll do EOM. . But what does that mean for us. I feel like he wasn’t clear to me. Which is an answer I know. I’m stupid and want to give it a chance. If he’ll do what he says would make him happy. Planning our life together.

But his family, his parents, so inflexible, racist, people. Says that because I’m Hispanic, his Korean employees won’t take him seriously and that it will affect him doing his job. Because the chefs, stock people are Hispanic, that it’s a liability to the business to be with me.

He believes this to a point. I’m hurt obv bc maybe I’m ignorant, but I don’t think it will affect his ability to gain respect.

But what do I know?

I’m rambling. I just need to vent, get support idk something. I just don’t want to feel like this. Alone.

How could they be so close minded? Racist?

I may not come from their version of a good family but I’m proud of my mom. And what she was able to do for me. She worked two jobs for over 6 years to help get our own apartment when my parents split. By herself. Admirable. We are hard working people. And people always look down on us. And that’s how I feel his parents see me and my family. And they background checked me and my family to know whatever it is they know. My brother has gotten into stupid trouble with the law over the years, nothing to do with me. And they see that as another reason. which they never fail to mention to him.

I had a good job, I have hobbies, I take care of my family, I look out for my friends and family, I take care of him. I love him. I respect our relationship. And it means nothing.

TLDR: boyfriends family will kick him out of the family business if he marries me. And we would be starting from square one in terms of life. He thinking about everything. And so am I.

I just don’t know if maybe I should call it quits. Or wait to see if he stands up for us. I know what the answer is I just don’t want to feel alone.

Usually an interracial couple would see this from a monoracial couple but has anyone ever gotten some weird stares from another interracial couple.

Ex. below

Asian Male White Female and gets this from an Asian Female White Male couple , mainly the Asian female doing it

Years ago, age gap couple older white male and younger black female, walks past a bunch of black dudes, I'm sure some things were said it actually got physical where the older male backed out of a parking lot and almost striking a couple of the black dudes. The irony of this is one or two of the black dudes were talking to white girls when this happened .

as someone who is 5ft 3-5ft 4 life is pretty hard when you are short guy so ik for the fact that dark skinned women also going through the same so any stories in your life that you got rejected for being dark skinned??

we both share the same pain

this post is based on india here dark skinned is considered ugly

I had this question because i was always pursued or chosen by latino men online. But i dont think they like women like me with coily hair. I could be wrong. Am i?

I’m so sorry to bug yall with this, I hope it’s ok. I am a man but I couldn’t post in the black men subreddit so I’m hoping it’s okay to ask for advice here. Remove if not, thank you

I wasn’t sure where else to go because I know I’d just be invalidated and have salt thrown in the wound anywhere else.

My girlfriend is Singaporean and is very pale / light skinned but not white, which was why it hurts even more that she made this comment. I was showing her some of the photoshop work I’ve done and a lot of it has been done on celebrities. The first one I showed her was of a dark skinned black celebrity that I was very proud of and she was supportive as I expected, but then I showed some of white male celebrity actors and she got very, very gung ho about them. Even so far as saying “you know how much I love the white men actors”.

It just felt very… weird. Uncomfortable. Especially because she immediately started going overboard on the compliments on the black celebrities I made edits of afterwards when I got a little quiet. I’ve known she was into that actor Tom Hardy, which I can agree he’s a very attractive dude. That’s the thing here - I can agree with her. All these guys are very handsome guys.

I don’t look like them and never will. But something about her just harping on and on for a few minutes about how hot Aaron Taylor Johnson and Henry Cavill are just kind of made me feel bad. And then it was like rubbing salt in the wound for her to start complimenting the black guys (specifically their complexion) as an after thought.

I can’t tell if this is my thing to deal with or if it’s worth bringing up, because I am half black and grew up with a white mother who was extremely racist. She called the neighborhood kids “porch monkeys” and even used the n word on me and my brother whenever we upset her. She spent my entire childhood convincing me that my black family was evil and dirty and regularly used slurs to refer to them as.

So I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive or not but I just feel really heart broken.

I’m never going to be a white man. I’ve spent my entire life wishing I was white and took so long to be able to trust someone, and I chose to trust her with my heart, and now it feels like she just shot me
In the chest.

I’m not sure what to do.

Am I overreacting? Thank you for your help