u/Dazzling-Abalone-952

So im a South Asian man (Indian) and ive dated interracially all my life, out of the hundred(+) of women ive dated maybe only like 6 of them were south asian women. I live in a multicultural European country so that is part of the reason.

I dont really have a type though and ive dated lots of women of every other race.

One of the reasons I get so much attention from all types/races of women on dating apps seems to be partially because im in the upper echelon of looks, but more importantly, because it seems women find me racially ambigous (some male friends have also said this to me). I also have a western name.

So south asians are the race that varies the most in looks without being mixed, and we have some overlap with other groups (as one can see with the meme ”global latina belt”).

People from my own group can most of the time see that im south asian, but other groups often mistake me for other things. Personally I know that if you have experience with all groups you would know for sure I can only be south asian.

to give a rough idea of how I look, I have medium brown skin, straight black hair (but usually in a buzz cut), hazel/light brown eyes, masculine facial features while still looking much younger than I am. 6’ feet tall. Muscular build with tatoos.

I notice that a decent ammount of women when they find out im Indian, are seemingly somewhat dissappointed. in a few cases they unmatched and in other cases they avoid the subject after that and act surprised. like they had a preconcieved idea about what indians look like which is proven wrong by my existance and it makes them uncomfortable. Majority of them didnt care though to be fair.

Even in some of my longer situationships were we got somewhat close emotionally in addition to having sex, some of these women didnt want to talk at all about my background (this is especially true for the white women I was dating, but also true for som WoC).

The most annoying examples of this were some black women I was seeing for a long time, and even though it was mostly a sexual relationship, they still wanted to talk about their situation with racism against black people, but werent really interested in talking about racism against south asians (and these women were like Eritrean, or mixed west african/european, not black women from America)

I will say though that some women I dated including black women were sympathetic to my situation, but in most cases race was never a subject we talked about. in my two serious relationships that was basically never a topic, one of these was with a white woman, and the other was with a latina woman.

its just curious why this might be so common and ive often been annoyed by this in the long run because it would be nice to be able to talk about stuff like that without it being forced.

Other factors that might be relevant is that men are usually expected to not complain about stuff in general and that includes racism while for women its more socially acceptable (and in general it seems more socially acceptable for black people to complain about racism compared to other groups).

Mind you all the women ive dated are conventionally attractive so they benefit from pretty privilege which makes racism a bit less prevalent, and im sure I myself benefit from that to some degree as well. Majority of women I dated that didnt talk about the subject at all were white women.

Ive usually been supportive of discussions about racism with the women ive dated in the past but this experience kind of made me avoid the subject completely, anyone else that had a similar experience?

I remember during the 2010s, people there would talk about how indian-americans were a privileged group and could never complain about racism because other groups supposedly had it worse (which is false, other groups did not have it worse and especially not today).

in modern times i hope they realize how wrong all of them who held that opinion were back then. Because racism against us was just as real back then, it was just more hidden because we as a group were not as visible so people didnt feel the need to talk about it, they could ignore us for the most part but they cant do that today.

I also remember how people there used to justify the racist and false stereotypes about indian/desi men. like the stereotype about indian men being creepy and India being the rape capital.

All of that was BS as well, in modern times we have Epstein and P Diddy among others that show that SA is a bigger problem in the west than it is in India. Statistics also prove without a doubt that rape per capita is alot more common in western countries like the USA, and in most African countries, and the middle eastern countries compared to India.

Even without that evidence, Indians in the west should not be associated with what happens in the motherland, but obviously that is still a thing.

Anything good we do is censored and anything bad is intentionally promoted to the widest audiences as possible, because of western propaganda, but also propaganda from muslim countries and China. its all because India is growing so powerful that they feel threatened by all south asians.

I clocked very early that both the left and right hate us, but people were in denial about the left being anti-indian in the 2010s, but now even there it is acknowledged to some extent. Its because we are the most successful ethnicity in basically all western countries we migrate to, in spite of not having any privilege compared to other minorities. The reason we succeed is because of inherent talent, strong culture and a lack of victim mindset.

Today the discourse there is mostly about racism, but I hope they realize that the only thing that changed from then and now, is that we are now a real threat, and the negative image we had was always based on lies. Have some pride in yourself because this wave of hate we recieve is a sign that we are winning and will soon be on top in the near future.

The pathetic moderators at that sub wouldnt let me post this over there as expected so I will post it here. its the truth.