White Boyfriend (42m) feels I'm (35f) not defending him.
To keep this short, I'm a POC dating a white man, we both live in the US where racial tension has always been a hot topic, but nowadays more than ever.
Almost all my friends (white or otherwise) are pretty vocal about their political beliefs and who they support. My boyfriend and I also have the same views but we are far less vocal. We are more occupied with other matters in life, like raising our children (from previous marriages, our jobs, etc). We just prefer to not make politics our identity.
Recently, on Instagram, my boyfriend noticed one of my friends liking some videos that mentioned the amount of white male led mass shootings in the US, among other videos that called out white people. Again she liked these videos on Instagram, she did not post them to her story. However, by liking them, it's clear she is resonating with the message.
Now, I disagree with any form of racism, be it towards a POC, a white person etc. That's where I stand and my boyfriend knows this. However he's very upset that my friend is liking these videos and has requested me to have a talk with her. He says I should "defend him" as he's white and these videos are offensive to him. I get where he's coming from, but I also don't think I have a right to tell someone what they can and cannot like on social media. This friend of mine has displayed no racism in person, she has other white friends and even family members. I know she's not racist, but I also know she's dealt with her fair share of racism in life, being a POC.
I have already shared my opinion with her that I think all racism is bad, regardless of who it's directed towards. But for my boyfriend, this isn't good enough. He says this will not get her to change her behavior and she needs to be called out. I feel uncomfortable calling out someone for a couple videos they liked weeks ago on Instagram.
I should note, this also isn't the first time my boyfriend has requested me to confront my friends on his behalf. I'm getting kind of tired of always "disciplining" them for my boyfriend. It's almost embarrassing that I have to keep doing that. And in the past, it's been for minor things, nothing major. It just seems he's got it in his head that I MUST defend him at any instance of the slightest offense.
Tl;dr: boyfriend is upset that my friend is liking content that is calling out white people. Wants me to defend him. I find it odd to call out a grown woman for liking content on social media.