Does anyone battle with believing they are the abuser?
(Ive already exited the relationship in october)
I am still in this awkward phase of genuinly believing i was the problem in the relationship. There was a lot of outside problems in the relationship granted and I under tones of stress from holding the weight of the relationship buckled a few times.
He accused me of isolation because I was upset he would stay up till 4am most nights to go drink and play games with his friends. I asked for not every night for this to be a thing while he was unemployed and I was somehow the abuser. I took his friends away.
I was somehow the abuser when I would come home and instantly get stressed because the house was trashed again after ide just cleaned it.
I never knew what I would come home to anyways. Them drunk and pissed off because the roommates. Or super happy to see me and all hugs and love.
It was constant eggshells. I still stress I was the abuser because I could have handled everything so much better. I could have done better.
Now they are posting cryptic things online that has me thinking they are going to attempt to turn their life off.
I know this is a manipulation tactic for me to feel bad for them. But Im still sitting here like. Am I the bad guy for leaving? Despite them sobering up?