u/Business_Drummer_366

I’m very new to learning about Macumba/Candomblé/Umbanda. I had a divination a few days ago and I’m about to do some ebós at the beginning of next week, so I’m still very much at the beginning of this journey.

Last night I dreamed about Exu. He appeared as a gorgeous Black man, and we sat together at a table for hours, late into the night. He was feeding me melted chocolate into my mouth, the most profoundly delicious chocolate I’ve ever tasted, with pistachio inside, and we were laughing together so hard we could barely breathe. It had the feeling of two old friends sitting together, completely comfortable, staying up late because they’re having too much fun to stop.

The contrast with my real life was particularly striking. I’m disabled and there are many ordinary things I can’t do, including eating sweets because of diabetes. So being able to experience this incredibly delicious chocolate and this kind of carefree joy felt almost like being shown a reality outside of those limitations.

Something else really surprised me. When I first started learning about Exu, some of the imagery felt intimidating and almost overpowering to me. But in the dream, although he felt extremely powerful, he wasn’t frightening at all. He was playful, present, mischievous, warm, and completely in the moment.

I wanted to share it with people who understand this tradition because the dream felt significant in a way that’s difficult to explain. If anyone has insight into this kind of playful, joyful experience of Exu, I’d love to hear it.

I was married to an abusive Brazilian man and left the relationship 3 years ago. Later I found out that he and his mother had criminal records and had done very serious things to me.

Since I left, my health has deteriorated out of nowhere. I saw death with my eyes multiple times and have been admitted to the ICU 3 times. I’m currently completely bedridden, unable to work or even make myself a meal. I continue to follow up with my doctor, but I’ve started to wonder if there might be some spiritual issue involved, like some kind of spell or curse.

I don’t know much about Umbanda and I don’t practice it, but I think someone from the culture/tradition where this possible work might have been done could understand it better.

I currently live in my home country and don’t have access to a terreiro. Does anyone know a reliable oracle reader, priest/priestess, or leader who does online consultations and can guide me?
If you have recommendations based on personal experience, I would really appreciate it. 🙏