Separated for 1.5 years. I have conflicted feelings about a 2nd chance.
My husband(35m) and I (35F) have been married for 16 years. We have 3 children. Our marriage has not been easy. He had me living with his parents for 10 years. I begged him to get me my own place. I stayed with him during this time. His parents were not easy to live with. For 5 years he kept moving us around. We have lived in 3 different states. I did not like constantly moving but as a supporting wife, I did what he said. We became homeless at some point living in a hotel. I stayed with him through many difficult times.
Our marriage started falling apart. I felt ignored and I have not been able to forgive the 10 years he kept me with his parents. I became distant, bitter and resentful. I treated him the same way he treated me. We became roommates. I did not feel loved or seen. He was going through a lot of stress that I ignored. I was not the supporting wife he needed and I ignore his problems. We got into a big argument. He asked me to leave. That he did not love me anymore. He told me to take the kids with me since he couldn't take care of them.
I moved in with my parents, and he stayed in a different state. He got his own apartment. I worked 60 hours a week to be able to support our 3 kids. During our 1.5 years of separation, he only helped me 2 times financially. Every time I asked for money so I can pay for groceries or for sports, his answer was always " I don't have money". I went through a difficult time during the separation. I was a single mom working full time. My husband was living his life by himself and keeping everything he was earning to buy new shoes, clothes, and gaming consoles.
About 2 months ago, he asked me for forgiveness and for a second chance. I said yes to him. Nothing has changed since we got back together. I'm still living with my parents. working full time and taking care of the kids. He only gives me money when I ask. If I do not ask him for money for groceries he does not offer it. I don't like having to ask him to provide for his kids. Every time I ask about living together, we get into an argument. School is starting in 1 month and I asked him how he is going to help. He told me he can't. He lives with his parents and only dedicates 1 day to me and working on our marriage. At this point, I don't want to be with him anymore. We are together but I feel alone. I don't like seeing my kids cry for him. They want us together, but I do not see an effort on his part to get our own place.
We recently got into a big argument, and I asked him that I wanted to move forward with the divorce. Am I in the wrong to ask him to live together after 2 months of getting back together. Any advice on how I should approach the situation.