u/Busy_Ad_7250

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Update (May 2026): Assallam Aleikum, it's me again. After a long pause, I am back on the lookout.

I have learned so much in this marriage search and the definition of 'naseeb' is a lot more clear. Alhamdulillah.

Dear reader, I would appreciate it if you could read my dastaan thoroughly before approaching. I am sure my naseeb is out here, somewhere!

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Assallam Aleikum, good people of Reddit. I put up a post here a while ago and interacted with some amazing people. Unfortunately, my account was hacked (along with my email) and ultimately banned by Reddit. Therefore, I had to make this new one, wait a few weeks, and do some karma-farming (sorry mods) in order to post again. I lost all of my chats and could not reply to many potential suitors. I sincerely apologize for that (if you recognized me); I am not the kind who ghosts.

Kheir, here we go again. I tried Muzz for a month, and my experience wasn't the best. I found the approach of this sub to be much more organic and wholesome. I will make my post even more detailed this time. The idea is to paint a picture of the man behind the words and to reach out to a specific type of individual. Please skip it if it’s too long (after making a dua for me, of course).

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Height & Weight: 6'0" | 82 kg | Lean

Location: Born in Karachi | Raised in Islamabad | Currently settled in Istanbul

Residence: Living independently in Istanbul for over 3 years now (rented apartment)

Education: BSc in Aerospace Engineering from a top university in Turkey

Profession: Flight Dynamics Engineer at a leading Turkish defense company

Marital Status: Single, never engaged

Family Details:

• Urdu-speaking, settled in Islamabad (20+ years). We respect the caste system (for other families), but I am strictly against it being a barrier in the marriage search.
• Father worked in the Government, now a motivational speaker and visiting professor (somewhat known on YouTube lol).
• Mother is a housewife and an entrepreneur. She has run multiple businesses from home and currently manages a home-cuisine.
• My younger brother is at university, and my sister recently completed her A-Levels. So yeah, I am the eldest.

Religion (for the sake of finding The One, may Allah protect us from Ar-Riya):

• Muslim by choice, Alhamdulillah (Sunni, but not into sectarianism).
• Pray 5 times daily and actively studying the Deen (currently learning Arabic from Bayyinah TV and memorizing longer Surahs from the Qur’an).
• Recently went for Umrah by myself, and that experience somehow instilled in me this desire to get married. Plan to go regularly, Insha’Allah.
• My faith is my compass, guiding all my decisions in life.
• Seeking a partner with the same commitment to learning for the sake of Allah. Study-buddy scene?

Am I ready for marriage?

I waited until I was settled and disciplined enough. In the last 3 years, I learned to manage a house, pay the bills, and take responsibility. Along the way, I read books, listened to podcasts, and spoke to married couples to understand what makes a marriage thrive. For me, marriage is what the Qur’an calls it: a sacred contract and a source of Sakinah (tranquillity). I’m now ready to share that journey with the right partner, Insha’Allah. If this resonates with you, please bear with me on this seemingly never-ending post.

What Makes Me, Me?

• Three things I value most are family, health, and time. I’m very close to my family, and I hope to raise children who are practicing, loving, and kind. Since we grew up away from extended family, we are close-knit and have no experience with family drama lol. I also try to use time wisely; it’s one thing we can’t get back. And I eat healthy and stay fit by regularly going to the gym.
• Studious and ambitious by nature. Pedaishi overachiever, but not the kind who gets arrogant. Alhamdulillah, I worked hard throughout my school years (straight A*s in O’ & A’ Levels), and was later blessed to graduate as valedictorian from my university. Participated in competitions such as the International Mathematics Olympiad, NASA Space Apps, etc. I also used to do MUNs so we could have great debates, haha. I mention all of this dastaan not to boast or apply for a job (I promise!), but to demonstrate that discipline and focus are things I carry in my career and everyday life.
• Personality type. I have taken personality tests over the years, and I end up in either INFJ or INTJ. I have the problem-solving instinct, I prefer quiet time alone when I am down, and I love to have deep intellectual discussions with the people I genuinely care about. At the same time, I feel deeply for others' suffering, and somehow everyone ends up ranting to me and taking my advice whenever they run into trouble lol. I value communication and have been told I’m an excellent listener and good at navigating difficult discussions. Generally considered a mature and responsible guy in my circles. I don’t remember the last time I raised my voice or got angry. Oh, and most importantly, people say that I am straightforward and honest.
• Values. I’ve volunteered in charities since my teenage years and continue to support causes financially. I don't smoke, consume alcohol, or do drugs. I also keep respectful boundaries with women (no past relationships, Alhamdullilah).
• Lifestyle. Love dressing up and collecting perfumes. I am the kind of person who would show up at a friend's gathering at a dhaaba wearing a suit, lol. Most of the gifts I receive are perfumes. :)

Hobbies:

• Travel & adventure. Travelled extensively across Turkey and its neighbouring countries (probably over 100 cities so far). Tried fun stuff like skiing, scuba-diving, hitch-hiking cross-country, and I look forward to paragliding soon. Oh, and an avid hiker (pretty much did all the treks around Islamabad and beyond). Gathered many stories to share with my wife and kids one day, Insha’Allah. My camping bag is always ready; you might need one too if we hit it off here!
• Reading. Grew up in a family of book lovers, so I keep a modest library in my apartment. I enjoy philosophy, history, politics, self-help, religion, and the classics. Nothing better than chai with a good book!
• Cooking & hosting. Can attempt everything from Maggi noodles to biryani, karahi, and nihari. I enjoy feeding friends and hosting.
• Fitness & sports. Love playing cricket, football, badminton (favourite), table tennis, and chess (studying currently). These days, I mostly go to the gym and sometimes swim due to my working hours. Alhamdulillah, people say I’m in good shape.
• Photography. Enjoy capturing architecture and landscapes. My friends say I’m their go-to photographer for ‘candids’. I used to make travel vlogs to highlight my adventures, but I stopped using social media over a year ago.

Why I could be a mismatch for some:

• Work ethic. My working hours can be INTENSE, but I still make time to study Arabic, travel, and keep learning. I want a spouse who understands this. I’ll prioritize my relationship and be emotionally available, but I also value space for growth. Looking for someone who knows how to stay busy and is okay with my ambitious nature. I will support her growth and space the same way.
• Down-to-Earth. Alhamdulillah, I live a comfortable life, but I keep it simple. I prefer simplicity over extravagance. If I earn more money than I can spend, I invest some and give the rest in charity. I also support my family whenever required (I would want my spouse to be respectful of that). But it goes without saying that I will support my wife financially (it is my obligation).
• Strong stances when it comes to some desi cultural nuances. I have taken it as a mission in life to differentiate between culture and religion. I respect our beautiful traditions, but I refuse to follow the cultural norms when they go against religion. This pertains to the desi marriage culture in particular.

Future Plans:

• In the near future, I plan to pursue a Master’s and later a PhD, Bi’idhnillah, which may involve relocating again.
• For now, I’m focused on developing myself as an engineer and continuing my studies in religion.
• I don’t plan to return to Pakistan immediately, though Insha’Allah one day, I hope to contribute meaningfully when the time is right.

What I’m Looking For:

• A Muslimah by choice, proud of her faith, with Taqwa at the center of her life. Someone who observes hijab (not judging anyone who doesn’t, though), is committed to learning, and wants to share life’s highs and lows with respect and love.
• Preferably between 21 and 25 years of age.
• Family-oriented, yet I am supportive of her growth, whether it be studies or pursuing her passion, as long as family remains the priority. I would prefer if my spouse is flexible in her work (remote for instance) and can adapt to moving to other countries. Also, I wouldn't prefer a long-distance relationship for extended periods.
• Someone studious, intellectual, and self-aware. I am a bit of a sapio-romantic, if you may.
• Physical attraction and well-being are important to me. I think there should be that spark and compatibility especially in the initial stages of marriage. It was interesting to learn that our religion also endorses this (refer to ahadith). I would also want my spouse to be attracted to me. I am not considered bad-looking either, hehe. That being said, I believe true beauty is rooted in Taqwa and character.
• I hope this doesn't sound too shallow but I do have a preference for someone on the taller side. So we don't have an awkward height difference. :)
• 10 points to Gryffindor if you are based in Islamabad or Rawalpindi, so my mom can easily meet your mom early on, haha.
• 100 points more if you also belong to a small nuclear family like mine so the marriage decision-making process is easier.

Deal Breakers

• Not willing to practice or grow in the deen. I would like for us to grow together.
• Not wanting children. I hope to raise a practicing family, Insha’Allah, and this is central to my vision of marriage.
• Chasing a lavish lifestyle or lacking gratitude. I value modesty and contentment, as I mentioned.
• Completely unwilling to relocate in the future. I plan to pursue higher studies and career opportunities abroad, and would prefer a spouse who is ready to adapt to these changes with me.
• Do NOT approach me if your parents are unaware that you're looking for a spouse online or if they don't respect your right to choose a spouse. This might sound harsh, but months on this platform have taught me this the hard way. It will save us both time and energy. :)

Do You Want Children?

Absolutely, Insha’Allah. However, not straight away after marriage, and with mutual understanding.

Family Setup: 

Nuclear (abroad). I don’t prefer the permanent joint-family system unless it’s unavoidable.

Timeframe for Marriage: 

I would like to get nikkahfied by the end of this year, Insha’Allah. Also, I don’t intend to talk for more than is necessary. If it works out on our end and the families are convinced, we can get engaged soon after. I prefer a simple Nikah and Valimah in line with our religion (if the other party agrees). Marriage is meant to be an easy process in our religion...Let’s make it that way together?

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If you’ve read this far, thank you for your patience. I can imagine this was a bit too much. I’ll delete this post if I finalize things with someone, so if you see this and you’ve resonated, please reach out with a profile so I can respond meaningfully and consider talking further. I’m also open to exchanging pictures once we’ve chatted a bit, Insha’Allah.

My only request is to keep this process respectful and purposeful. I received some messages last time for ‘casual chatting’ or hanging out. My intention here is marriage-only. Finally, I would appreciate your patience if I take a while to respond; I can get caught up at work. I won’t ghost anyone, dw.

May Allah make this journey easy for all of us. These are trying times, but Insha’Allah, with sincerity and effort, He will guide us to what’s best. 🤲🏻