My best friend (childhood soulmate) How do I actually support her without making it worse?
I’m not infertile, I got knocked up by surprise both times with zero effort. First pregnancy, my best friend since we were literal kids was pregnant at the same time. I asked her to be my baby’s godmother like a week before her whole world exploded, she miscarried and they took one ovary. She’s been trying for over a year since then with nothing. Meanwhile I had my second kid.
Now she’s distant. I get it. I’m trying so hard to be careful, no baby talk unless she brings it up, I downplay my kids around her, I check in but don’t push. But it feels like I’m losing my best friend to this cruel b called infertility and I don’t know what the fuck to do.
Has anyone been on either side of this? The fertile friend who feels guilty as hell, or the one going through it watching everyone else get the life you’re begging for?
I love her. I want to support her without being a tonedeaf asshole or pretending my kids don’t exist. Practical advice? What helped you when your fertile friends were in throws of motherhood? What made it worse? Should I just give her space and wait it out? Or is there a way to stay close without rubbing salt in the wound?
Be brutal, I can take it. This situation already sucks. It’s been 4 years.