u/Busy_Description6207

I've had folliculitis on my scalp for as long as I can remember, I had acne as a teenager so thought it was just part of that, except I continued to have it into my 30s. I've visited this community a couple times but honestly at this point just accepted I would always have it.

I've always had these little gooey, green, surface level pustules with sticky pus on my hairline, crown, nape and sides of head, that get worse after sweating. They're mostly hidden under my hair but hurt when I brush my hair and I always felt embarrassed going for haircut with a head full of spots. I also picked up the gross habit of absent-mindedly picking the resulting scabs off my head.

I'm female so shaving my head was never an option for me personally, I've tried shampooing with chlorhexidine, mixing benzoyl peroxide into my shampoo, spraying my scalp with hypochlorous spray, soaking my head in a basin full of Dettol water, I've used baby bottle sanitising fluid on my all my hairbrushes and hair tools, scalp exfoliants, medicated shampoos, swapped my pillow case every single day , washed my towels at 90 degrees and never gone to bed with wet hair.

I've been to the doctor and done some short rounds of antibiotics but it has always returned and I could never afford the private dermatologist visit so I just accepted it.

Recently I've been diagnosed with iron deficiency anemia and feel like shit, and after reading online it's really likely to have a vitamin D deficiency alongside it. I'm Irish and something like 80% of the population is deficient in vitamin D, so I said fuck it I'll take some vitamin D as well.. after just 2 months of a daily(edit: 1000 IU ) vitamin D tablet that cost around €3 for 60 tablets, my folliculitis has randomly absolutely disappeared.

I've changed nothing else.

I don't even have ONE pustule on my head.

I can scratch my scalp with my nails without getting sticky pus under them.

When I figured it out, I searched on here and found a couple of other posts saying the same thing, I just wanted to post as it's worth a try if you've tried everything else.

Hello all,

I suppose I (34F) just wanted to complain for a moment.

I have diagnosed ADHD but the last year or so I have started suspecting I have autism as well, I have done the online Raads questionnaire several times and score jusssst about over the threshold but live somewhere I can't get diagnosed.

I realise that NT folk don't become fixated on finding out if they have autism so I guess it's kind of like a weird confirmation that I probably have it😅

Anyway I started a new job about a month ago and things have been HARD. I've cried in the toilets a couple of times, I just feel so worn down. My job isn't particularly skilled or difficult, I am a hotel receptionist, it doesn't exactly require a degree but every day I just feel more and more stupid.

It makes me so sad that when things aren't clicking after a month, I see the patience of my coworkers wearing out, I see the frustration and sighing an eye rolling beginning, because how can I still be making mistakes??

I've been bullied in every job I've ever had, and already the cracks are starting to show in this job just after a MONTH!!

I am kind, polite, positive attitude, I try not to intrude or overstep on people's boundaries or authority, I partake in small talk chitchat, but it's like I've got a big stamp branded on my forehead that just says "kick me".

It's like people just cannot RESIST being snide to me for no reason. I could at least understand if my immediate coworkers were becoming frustrated with me because of the mistakes, but I'm getting snide remarks from people who work in the other departments that I literally only see once a day??? Like?? 🤷🏼‍♀️

My coworkers are all middle aged women, which just reiterates that people never fucking grow up, there's no escape from it. High school mentality never ends.

I will always be ostracised and "othered" and have to spend 8 hours a day trapped with people who dislike me for no fucking reason other than sensing that I'm neurodivergent.

Then I go home from work and sit by myself, feeling the weight and pain of bitter loneliness because all my friendships have burnt out over time.

Yay! I don't even have anyone to talk to about it. So here I am 🥲

I feel so fucking done, and I'm so angry. I can't outrun my own brain, I feel like I've been kicked in the face by God lmao.

There's nothing I can do.

My life, my struggles, have been set in motion when I was in my mother's womb and the cells started grouping together to build my brain.

I've been so upset this week, I check-in guests that are my age, I recently checked-in a visiting astrophysicist with a PhD who was the same age as me, we had a brief chitchat.

I couldn't help but fantasise about how things could've been so different for me if I had a brain like his.

It feels so painfully unfair that I have the brain I do, and there are people out there who don't struggle at all, who arent exhausted swimming against a tide and it's all a matter of luck and genetics. I feel constantly on the cusp of a mental breakdown.

You're telling me I'm gonna suffer and struggle in menial jobs, living in borderline poverty, be ostracised at every turn and experience excruciating loneliness as well?! My whole life??! Just because???!

I never chose this. I can't escape it. I don't deserve it. I literally feel SO angry about it, I wanna talk to the fucking manager!!! The concept of doing this shit for the next 40 years makes me actually not want to wake up in the morning. Sometimes I fantasise about it. I'm so exhausted.

I just don't know how much longer I can keep going.