i haven't worked in 2 years. i have bipolar and have been disabled. i am going back to work tomorrow. over the last 60 days or so, i built a website using AI. I write and edit. Most photos are original. I have documented my life in order to help one person. some fools on reddit want to say that i am trying to sell stuff. i haven't made one penny off my site. i'm almost 1k in the hole with hundreds of hours of IT work i've put in. I love most of you, but to the few negative nancy's, go to hell. I'm tryting to help people by preaching my word. Rant over.

a lovely photo my ex sent me after he cheated on me and put me through a night of terror i will never forget. It was his way of telling me he didn't give a shit about me and all of his loser friends had no idea what he had put me through

But i still hate AA. Bunch of windbags.

https://preview.redd.it/6nvgcstlo60h1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10a366002c5f6b457c726ef111948ec1e4a0a1d8

My Dear Friend Tequila,

You have held me up for years, but I now know that this was a façade. It was a bandaid that didn't heal the wound — it simply let my wound continue to fester, quietly, beneath the surface, where no one could see it. Not even me.

You were the lubricant that made social situations tolerable, easier. You gave me confidence when I felt timid. You gave me a voice when I felt invisible — a boldness I didn't yet know how to find on my own. You made me think I was a perfect ten when I was an imperfect mess.

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What You Never Told Me

But here is what you never told me: that every ounce of confidence you gave me, you borrowed from my future self. Every moment of ease came with interest I didn't know I was paying.

You have ruined relationships. You have cost me my jobs. You made me less of a mother. You sent me to jail. You have cost me thousands of dollars in fines and restitution. You have emptied my bank account even when I couldn't afford you. You have wrecked my health. You ruined my appearance.

You made me rely on you for so many reasons, and you failed to tell me that I had other options. You failed to mention that the confidence was always mine — that I was borrowing from myself all along, and you were simply the middleman taking a cut.

Letting Go

Well, after years of relying on you, I am ready to let go. I can't say you didn't try your best to uphold me — but you were selfish, and you only ever took from me.

You no longer have a place in my life, because I replaced you with good things. Healthy things. Things that improve instead of degrade. Things that build instead of borrow. You are now replaced with a lot of coffee, exercise, and meditation. With clarity. With nights I actually remember. With a version of myself I am finally proud to know.

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You are dead to me.

— Kristen