Do other immigrants in Germany feel suddenly ‘othered’ during public conflicts?
Been in Berlin for 5+ years and had a genuinely uncomfortable experience at a spa today that left me thinking a lot about integration, language barriers and how immigrants can end up feeling unwelcome even during misunderstandings.
I (Brown Male) was at a non-nude spa (not my first time). After sauna, I went to shower before the cold plunge. There is only one common shower area.The shower sliding door was almost closed, so I opened it and unexpectedly found two women (of Asian and Black ethnicities) showering naked inside. I got shocked, immediately stepped back out, and then decided to use another shower head in the same communal shower area since it’s a shared space.
One of the women suddenly started shouting “Raus! Raus!” at me aggressively. I completely froze. I could not respond to that unexpected shouting and just walked out feeling embarrassed and confused. Another German guy standing outside was also confused and wondering why they were treating the communal shower like a private room.
Then the woman came out and continued shouting in Deutsch , calling me insane (the only English word she used) and finally saying: “In Deutschland you should learn German.” (again in German)
That line honestly hurt more than the shouting itself.
As an immigrant, situations like this trigger a deeper fear:
“Am I being seen as some outsider/creep just because I don’t speak perfect German and don’t fully understand every social nuance?”
I later spoke to the spa staff. They were actually calm and professional, spoke to the women privately, and later told me the women apologized and said they thought I was staring at them. I genuinely wasn’t — I was just startled because I wasn’t expecting nudity there and left immediately.
So I understand they may have felt uncomfortable too. But the aggression and the “learn German” comment felt completely unnecessary.
What shook me wasn’t just the incident itself, but how powerless I felt in that moment because I couldn’t defend myself properly in German. I realized how quickly language becomes a power dynamic during public conflict here.
I’m curious if other immigrants in Germany/Berlin have had similar experiences where a misunderstanding suddenly turns into feeling socially excluded or “othered,” especially because of language or cultural unfamiliarity.
PS : For me the issues are with people being entitled - like german speakers who are here for longer time (either they are ethnic germans or born here or been living for more than 20 years and speak german well) think that they can bend the rules as per their will. For them rules dont matter and can intimidate other immigrants.
Even if i spoke the language well it would not have de escalated. The person was either ignorant to spa rules or knew it (most likely since as per the spa employee they are regulars) and still decided to not follow them and get away with doing it since they are "GERMAN".
Some people on the comments here dont understand the word "shock" - the feeling where you literally freeze because of some unexpected occurence. I got shouted at - even if the whole interaction was in English since it happened at a time when i least expected it I could not respond back. And especially in a setting like spa where silence is of utmost importance my body perhaps was not in a state where it could actually find in itself the drive to shout back.