My parents are blocking my marriage because my partner and I both have the Thalassemia Trait, despite us having a clear medical plan.
I am a 30-year-old anesthesiology resident, and my partner is currently completing her residency in pediatrics. We’ve been together for a while and are planning to get married, but we’ve hit a massive wall with my family.
During routine screening, we discovered that both of us have the Thalassemia Trait. Because of this, there is a 25% autosomal recessive chance of us having a child with Thalassemia Major.
The Issue:
My parents are absolutely refusing to agree to the marriage over this. My dad is ENT specialist. He says anyone whether doctor or not would insist not to marry.
But my partner and I are fully aware of the reality. We are not walking into this blindly. We have already discussed our family planning roadmap, specifically utilizing IVF with PGT-M (Preimplantation Genetic Testing for Monogenic defects) and prenatal screening (CVS/Amnio) which may be followed by abortion. We are also open to adoption if needed.
Where I need advice:
We have the clinical solution My parents will not consider modern medical advances. They are saying they have always known thalassemia trait partners should not marry and dismiss our explanations of PGT-M as something too novel to rely on in india. And they are against idea of adoption. They want me to just solve the issue just by getting rid of her.
Has anyone else navigated a similar genetic standoff with conservative parents? How do you break through the emotional panic and get them to understand the actual, modern medical options? Is it worth bringing them to a genetic counselor, or do we just need to set a hard boundary and move forward without their blessing?
TL;DR: My partner (Pediatrics resident) and I (Anesthesiology resident) both have the Thalassemia trait. We plan to use IVF + PGT-M to have kids, but my parents are refusing to accept our marriage due to the 25% genetic risk. Looking for advice on how to handle the family fallout.