Discriminatory Boundaries
Last summer I (cis-man) met a guy (also cis-man) who I initially had a really lovely connection with and felt like it was going somewhere, until he shared a boundary set by his girlfriend (cis-woman) that felt fairly discriminatory to me and I still haven't fully processed it.
Specifically, if he had unprotected (barrier-free) sex with a gay man, that his girlfriend would not have sex with him until he had a clear STI panel at least three months after the encounter. This did not apply to women, bi men, or trans folks - very specifically cis gay men.
He acknowledged that it was "less than ideal" but that also "boundaries are boundaries". I didn't press further and stopped hanging out with him.
As far as I see it though, this boundary isn't just "less than ideal", it's fully and entirely homophobic. To be quite honest I don't see how it would be different to swap "gay men" with people of color or trans individuals into that boundary.
I didn't press on this though, and decided to just pull back quietly from the person. To be clear, I am happy to use condoms. But I am not happy to have to do so under the control of a very clearly homophobic boundary.
Really just looking for additional perspectives here: is my read on this fair? At what point does a boundary become discriminatory or otherwise unethical in its foundation? Have any of y'all encountered this before?