Need advice - Found 8 year old son looking up explicit material
So back story- in the house there are no computers in rooms/ my kids don’t have phones/ they are not allowed you tube ect. We overall try to be very on top of anything with internet with our kids I guess this is why this breaks me so much. I felt like I tried to do all the right things. Anways…
Last year one night I found my husbands laptop in my sons room. My husband left it out in the counter never uses it that much mainly pulls it out for 3D printing. The code in the computer is one that he uses for everything so my son figured it out. I just happen to go into his room when I heard him still up and saw that he had it. When I saw what he was looking at it was very very graphic porn. The prompt was extremely basic like naked girl… but obviously it doesn’t take much to get to some really really graphic material. He told me a kid at school told him to look it up. Which.. I get young boys talking about girls. Even if it were just nude pics it would be one thing but seeing what he was exposed to just broke my heart bc you can’t unsee it. I’m not very emotional but when I brought him into the room to talk I couldn’t finish talking without crying (I know not great). I think I was just in so much shock.
Anyways I have had multiple conversations with him about how that is not real life calmly ect. He refuses to talk because he gets really embarrassed (this with anytime he is uncomfortable and knows he did something he knows was wrong) so I try not to push a conversation because I was the same way as a child (hated talking about my feelings ect). So time has gone by and I thought we had moved past it changed all pins on everything electronic added even deeper PINS for tv ect.
Right after this happened he spent the night at my moms I hadn’t told her about what happened - he stole her iPad at night did the same thing. (Maybe this was a week later)
It’s been a while now and tonight I was up late and I heard him moving in his bed room and I caught him again with an old iPad that was on top of a cabinet in my bathroom (forgot I even had). But he has had it for at least three nights it died before I could really go through it all. And again just hard core stuff that honestly I can’t even go through. I’m gonna make my husband look at what he was actually looking up ect.
I’m will be going through every inch of this house to find anything that could connect to internet. And changing the WiFi password so on the off chance he were to find something and I missed it won’t work.
But I really don’t know what to do. He is 8 and he has seen too much and the fact that he keeps trying to sneak it is what is really making me just so sad. I don’t know how to fix it or what to do. I don’t want to keep bringing it up but I also don’t want to sweep it under the rug. I don’t want to shame him but I need him to know that what he is watching is not healthy or real or good in anyway.
I’ll take any advice I can get because I’m mentally spiraling and just so heartbroken about all of it. I also don’t want this to turn into some bigger issue down the road. I just don’t know what to do or say to him.