r/Parents

Seeking creative ideas! Around the world there are ceremonies for rites of passage related to physical changes. I love how mainstream Global North is getting on board with period parties & teaching our female-bodied youth to carry less shame. Birthing people have baby welcoming ceremonies. Lots of other cool stuff… But what about saying good bye to something? My husband is getting a vasectomy this month and I want to honor him, and say goodbye to his/our reproductive time in a special way. We have two beautiful children and we’re both sure we’re done. How to mark this door closing in our lives? I’ve asked him how he wants to mark this time and he was surprised by the question, even though he’s usually the one to ritualize our lives in beautiful ways. I want to give him what he gives me! But am having trouble with ideas 😅 Has anyone else done anything like this? Thanks for any ideas!

I get my girls every second weekend (9yo and 10yo). I'm unsure of how to proceed with helping them with their hygiene. Anything will be appreciated!

They got their ears pierced about 10 weeks ago. They are still very tender to the touch and gunk on them almost every single day. We, my partner and I, have cleaned them out every time they are over here with us. However, when they go back to their fathers, they come back filthy. Ears are dirty, hair is a rats nest, nails are dirty and untrimmed, etc. 9yo has ADHD, has a hard time remembering to brush her hair. 10yo has always had her head in the clouds, very much look at the flowers type of girl. She doesn't remember to do things either. The most they've been able to remember is deodorant, at least for the 9yo. Still working on that for the 10yo. Anyways, we've run out of ideas as what to do to help them remember basic hygiene.

Here are things I've tried so far:
- have a shared Finch goal that reminds them on their tablets
- whiteboards outside their rooms with "TO-DO!" on it
- spoken reminders
- asked them about xyz
- timers
- talking about them having more responsibility

None of these have worked so far. I've been doing so much reading on ADHD for my 9yo, and my 10yo is a follower so some of the time what works for the younger will work for the older. It's gotten to the point to, as I said earlier, their ears are so bad I had to take the earrings out and there were so much tears for that because of the pain. They have a mass in the back of both ears (I will be asking their father to take them to their GP), and bleeding as well.

I need help!

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At how many months did you guys start sitting in the front with your husband? My baby’s 4 months and I still sit in the back with him even tho he’s not a cry baby 😊just want to know

For context, my husband and I for the last 6 years have done a round robin on Christmas. We spend Christmas morning together, then the afternoon at my parents, and the evening at his parents. By the time we get home, it’s practically time for us to get into bed, as I have work the next day most years.

This year I will, again, have work the next day. My in laws have moved to the city and are no longer close enough to easily visit the day of. So my husband and I thought that this year maybe the parents can come to us for a change. We finally have a larger house which is perfect for hosting. And both of our parents are retired or have enough flexibility with work to make the time to come see us. Not surprisingly, because they love any opportunity to come see us, my in laws are totally on board with this idea! My parents, however, do not seem thrilled about it.

Both my mom(66) and dad(68) are retired and spend most of their days at home enjoying the slower pace of life. They are perfectly healthy, mobile, and able to easily drive themselves places whenever they feel. I brought this idea up to my mom the other day, and she seemed a touch adverse to it. She said “if you had kids then I would understand ,and come do Christmas at yours in a heartbeat. But you two haven’t earned it yet” I think she was slightly joking because she said it while smiling, but she never explicitly said she was in or would do it.

I tried to save the awkwardness (because I hate when she brings up kids) by saying they could come in the afternoon and the in-laws could come in the evening if that sweetened the deal (My parents are pretty introverted and they have opposing ideals to my in laws so it’s rare they’re in the same room together). All she said was she’d talk to dad and think about it, and then made a joke like “you guys are still young and spry! Give me a grandkid and then I’ll come over your house all the time.” The way the conversation was left has me doubting that they’ll do it.

I don’t feel like it’s fair to expect us for the 7th year in a row, knowing that I have work the next day, to come visit them. Especially when our in laws are willing to make the hour long trip from the city to spend time with us.

Should I stick to my guns here?

My daughter is 7 and has become really good friends with a girl in her class who also lives on our street. They’re constantly asking for playdates. For context the girl walks home from school alone.

The first time her friend invited my daughter over, another little girl they’re both friends with was with them too. The other girl has been to this house before.
I walked over with my daughter because I’d never met her parents and obviously wasn’t just going to send my 7 year old into a house when I don’t know the adults.
We get there, her friend goes inside and my daughter goes in with her for a minute while I’m outside asking if I can meet/speak to her mom. Then the friend comes back outside with my daughter and says my daughter can’t stay because her parents “don’t know her parents.”
But the other little girl was allowed to stay and went inside.
I was literally standing outside trying to introduce myself, so I found the whole thing really strange. Her mom never came out. I figured maybe there was some misunderstanding because they’re 7 and left it alone.
The girls kept asking for a playdate, so eventually I wrote my number down and had my daughter give it to her friend for her mom. Her friend confirmed her mom got it. Two weeks went by and I never heard anything.
Today they asked AGAIN. I told my daughter I’d give it one more try, so we walked over again. Still no parent came out. This time the little girl came back outside and handed me her mom’s phone number. She also told me that her mom had already saved MY number in her phone.

There’s another part of this that’s making me uncomfortable too.This little girl talks a LOT about her parents’ jobs/status. She’s also made comments about my daughter living in an apartment. Today my daughter referred to our apartment as her home and her friend corrected her and said basically, “That’s not your home. My dad owns the building. It’s his.”
I immediately corrected that and said no, she lives there, therefore it absolutely is her home.
Combined with the bizarre avoidance of actually meeting us, I’d be lying if I said I’m not starting to wonder if there’s some classism happening here or if, for whatever reason, these parents just don’t want their daughter associating with our family.
Idk if this matters but I do have tattoos (nothing egregious at all lol just to note)… we are also visibly not Caucasian. My fiance is mixed black. Nonetheless we are both university educated. Also both young parents, I’m in my late 20s :)
Thoughts?

We were at the park today and my 3-year-old son found another 3-year-old boy to run around with. My son is very energetic and I try to let him do his thing in terms of running around and exploring at the park. I noticed some rough housing but wasn't concerned because my son still seemed to be having fun.

I was sitting on a bench talking to the other boy's mom and we were both holding our babies. My son was on one of those saucer swings when the other boy came up and put both hands around my son's neck and essentially started choking him.

I feel like it started and ended before I could put my baby down to go take the other kids hands off my kid. The other kid then went back to more traditional hitting, which his mom promptly stopped and she removed her kid from the situation and both boys went back to playing together after, though I was more sure to keep a closer eye on them. The other mom did not see the choking.

It has put me in a funk ever since. I feel like I didn't protect my son or act fast enough. I feel like I kind of froze and in those few fast moments I saw my son didn't like what was happening but I couldn't really specifically explain his response because it just feels like a blur.

Hitting, kicking and pushing is one thing and sometimes my son is the perpetrator with those actions. But choking?? It just freaked me out. Like, where did this 3-year-old learn that? Maybe he sees his dad do it to his mom, who knows? I feel like it just came out of nowhere.

I tried to have a conversation with my son about it after and talk about how it doesn't feel good when other people hit us and that's why we dont hit other people.

My son is perfectly fine. I dont know I'm just feeling guilty over it like I should have protected him more. But Im trying to use it as a learning lesson to keep a closer eye on him and also act sooner.

Hi, I'm currently pregant and I'm starting to look at car seat and travel system. I have a Mazda cx-3 2016 and a lot of people told me that not all car seat fit in my car. For people who have the same car and have or had a baby, which car seat fit ? I really want a travel system with the stroller and everything but all the one I look at, the car seat seem to not be a good fit for my car.

Thank you !

Some Grandparents just get it. My in laws are one of them.

Our elementary kiddo got off the bus and my FIL put on the spiderman costume we bought for his birthday recently. He stood on the roof of the house and greeted our kid with enthusiasm. The way my inlaws embracing grandparenting is beautiful. They inspire me.