r/Parents

So I have 2 kiddos under 3. Since my son (now 2.5) started talking, i have stressed he says thank you to almost everything. Yesterday and today, I caught him saying thank you for playing (or at least the 2yo jargon way of saying it) to the random kids he played with at the park and this morning, I handed him his A.M. milk and he told me "Thank you". I couldn't be more proud of my son.

My spouse is a surgeon in private practice and on top of that has 5+ other streams of incomes we live pretty comfortably, kids are in private school (they are 8 year old twins), nice house, nice vacations, the whole thing. I want my kid to have a good life, but I’ve seen how some high income households produce genuinely entitled kids, and I really don’t want that.

For those who grew up with money/able to get whatever you want (or are raising kids that way) and turned out okay what actually worked? I’m already thinking about having our kids get a part time job at age 16 so they can learn the value of money.

We love both our children equally but over time we realised the way we interact with them is different and it is not something we do consciously. It might be because we grew up in somewhat traditional families and that could be a reason. I was curious as to whether other parents have noticed something similar.

TLDR: Told my grandparents they could watch my son while I was pregnant (set for a couple times a week for a few hours each day) and they have been so excited since, am now realizing they are not physically in a state where I feel comfortable leaving my son with them alone.

I am a new mom (3 weeks pp!) and I have gotten myself into what feels like the most horrible situation. My grandparents whom I am very close with offered to help us with childcare for free when my son arrived and I excitingly agreed. They were set to watch him twice a week for a few hours on each day. They watched my sisters, cousin and I growing up and both had careers where they worked with children.

However, they are almost 80 and really struggle to get around these days. Now that my son is here, the visits that we’ve had together have made me completely backtrack on wanting to let them babysit. Seeing them hold him/ try to transfer positions makes me feel like I am going to have a panic attack because their strength and coordination is just not there (I don’t feel like this with anyone else so I don’t think it’s pp anxiety, also my partner says he feels the same way). My grandma has a lot of trouble walking/ getting up and down now as well.

They have done so much for me and are some of the most important people in my life but I cannot leave my baby alone with them. I know this is going to crush them, they are so excited to watch him. I guess when I agreed I was somewhat blind to their physical state, I knew they were aging but they still felt like the same grandparents that can do it all. Actually seeing them interact with him has been such a wake up call.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I am just dreading this conversation. I can‘t stop crying thinking about how much it’s going to hurt them, but I need to put my son’s safety first. If anyone has any advice on how to gently talk to them it would be greatly appreciated!

So I have a 16 year old son but over the last three years whenever he plans something with his friends it's always myself or my wife picking up and taking his friends places.

I can understand one off if the kids parents are working but it's every time we have to do it.

Are we in the wrong if we say we will provide one of the two trips either to the places and the other kids parents need to figure out a plan to get both my son and their child back from the places. As it should be both ways.

My husband and I are both 32. We have two girls (3yr old and 1 yr old).

We’re trying to decide if we want a third kiddo or not. We’re not in a rush but I would love to be done having kids before 35. We know we don’t want anymore than 3 but wanted to get some perspective.

I don’t believe we would ever regret having a 3rd so no concerns there, but we worry about having less time to go around, how much more of a strain it puts on finances, logistically operating with an odd number of kids, vacation experiences when you’re outnumbered, etc.

Would love to get some points of view from people with 3 or more kiddos and your take on doing those things with a larger family and what not. Is it dramatically more difficult and chaotic than 2? I truly believe the added love makes all the chaos worth it but we also want to understand as best we can what the challenges would be, as we’re trying to ensure we never have more than we can handle and can mentally/emotionally be the best parents we can be.

Also if you have advice or insight as someone who stuck to two kiddos would love to hear from you as well!

I can't tell if what I'm feeling is just my "mama bear" instincts and my postpartum hormones or if my MIL is overbearing. Someone give me a sanity check please lol

*For context, my babygirl is a month old.*

She comes over just to hold my baby and I don't get her back for hours. I just sit there waiting for the next time I get to feed my baby just so I can hold her again. This past weekend, we went to my husband's grandma's house and we were there for 5-6 hours. The whole time my baby is being passed around and held by someone. I could not wait to leave. *side note- I had mastitis the whole time* The following morning, we could not get her to sleep for 5 hours. So her cortisol is high and my mama heart just hurts for her. I knew she was stressed and I was doing everything I could to get to sleep. I really think she was over stimulated from the day before. New environment, being passed around to a ton of new people, and my milk supply was decreasing from mastitis. Unfortunately, we had the same family members coming over to our house 30 minutes after I finally got her to sleep. I told my husband I don't want anyone else holding her today. I wanted her to have some consistency and to feel safe while she's coming down from a rough morning. As soon as she's awake, people are petting her head, poking her to wake up so they can hold her, people offering my baby to others. 40 minutes into my baby giving hunger cues my MIL is telling me its good for babies to just lay there and look around while my baby just stares at the TV. Then she's telling my husband sleep training advice so she sleeps longer through the night. My baby is a month old, she barely has a grasp on a circadian rhythm. I want to raise my baby the way I want to without feeling like I'm going to be judged for not taking her advice. My MIL owns a daycare, so I know she has a lot of knowledge, but it feels like she uses that to have an excuse to be overbearing. I know she's excited and I'm trying to be understanding, but I don't want to dread every time she comes over.

Looking for recommendations for my daughter’s birthday present. She turns 1 this November!

This probably something discussed on this sub before, but I am genuinely curious to hear people’s honest opinions.

I’m a father of 3, one with very significant special needs, and have been a “professional” parent for the past 22 years, working as a youth/social worker with kids in care, developing care programs, training other youth/social workers and I now work as a behavioural support consultant with families and government agencies. I’ve worked with some of the most behaviourally challenging young people my country has to offer, and I’m here to say the most effective methods I’ve found (both anecdotally and through my training and education) all have their roots in the same place as gentle parenting.

It works so well, preserves your relationship with your kids/young people and gives them templates and guides for navigating challenges throughout their life.

My suspicions are it’s a lack of understanding around many of the core principles, particularly the common misconceptions that it means “no boundaries” and the fact that it can be HARD and emotionally draining, particularly at the start.

I’m interested to hear from those of who disagree and what your genuine and honest reasons are for that?

My 3.5 year old son doesn’t really have friends. He plays with other kids in his class and calls them his friends, but no besties really. He still often prefers to play on his own, in his own way. Is that typical? He seems a bit behind socially. I see other kids his age much more engaged in associative play. He can and does, but is also very content to be with his parents or other adults.

How did you get your kids to regularly clean and organize their room? Take responsibility for their space? Instill habits to keeping an organized space that they kept with them long term?

My house was always chaos. But my friend who had a mom who worked as a housekeeper always cleaned her room. Her desk was always organized and she kept these habits until college. I think they cleaned together every Saturday. Would love to hear all your tips.

My son is 13 years old, turning 14 in a couple of months. I really have no idea how I should treat him due to his current lifestyle. I feel like I am in a “Young Sheldon” type situation. He is in 10th grade, doing half dual enrollment, and next school year he will be doing full in-person dual enrollment at a college.

He has been homeschooled for the past seven years, and this is his first and only year in high school, so I am unsure how to approach parenting him. He does not act like a typical 13-year-old in terms of maturity. He mostly cares about his pets, family, and making money. I asked him why he does not talk or interact with children his age, and he responded with something that really left me dumbfounded:

“The reason I don't interact with children my own age is because they are all ticking time bombs and unpredictable. Children my age do not have a true concept of right and wrong; they would lie to save their own skin while I would face the consequences. I do not like unpredictability.”

That concerns me. He has social media, mostly unrestricted. The only reason I allowed that is because he does not interact with bad actors or watch inappropriate content. I installed a monitoring app so I can see everything. His screen time is extremely high, but not in a traditional “bad” way. Most of it is spent reading the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Harvard Business Review, AI and financial sources, and similar material.

I really wish I was making this up. I have no idea what started this or how to remedy this situation. I am at a loss for words regarding his business knowledge and level of concern.

I go through his contact list and see about 10 people labeled as “future contact” or similar notes. Some of them appear to be CEOs. He started this behavior as early as age 9, when he wanted to attend a business conference and took notes during a talk where Steve Forbes was present. At 9 years old, he received a signed magazine.

He treats everything as a risk. I do not know what to do. I have tried taking away screen time, but he finds other ways to access business articles. He has also invested all his money into different stocks and development projects, only leaving some money for his reptiles.

I feel lost and need guidance. Should I put restrictions on his phone? Should I treat him the same as his age group, or differently? I am not sure. I have asked him about relationships and whether he has a girlfriend, and he said they are “calculated risks” and that any relationship that does not make you money should be cut off, except family. I have even put money into some of the investments he is involved in as well.

I’m seeing a lot stokke Tripp trapp high chairs on fb marketplace and I’m wondering why? If you bought the chair, are you or are you not using in toddlerhood? Why or why not? Looking to get one but not if it doesn’t seem to be used past needing a high chair. TIA!

ETA: I’m a new mom and did not know this was an old chair. I was under the impression it was a new kind of thing!

Alright so, some context. I'm 19 and going to college in the fall. I'm soon to take my driver's test and earn my license. I have a job near my house that I can consistently walk to if I have to. I have a boyfriend that I've been with for over a year, but we were friends for a year already before that. I have decent savings, and I recently got an IUD.

Now. My boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together during college, and I'm still not quite sure how I'm going to hide it from my grandparents, who I live with. I can't just tell them, because I fear getting kicked out of the house with no car and no idea of where to live, other than my boyfriend's house. So I'm trying to get prepared in case I actually do get kicked out of here. What else would I need? I don't really WANT a car, since that'll eat up my savings. But if I get kicked out I'll need one desperately. And I almost have everything ready for college, so that's covered.

I can't exactly tell my grandmother about this, because in the past anything I said to her has been used against me to humiliate me in front of the family. And vice versa with other family members. I love my boyfriend, and want to have a life with him. He makes me happy, and he's someone who would never think to hurt me in any way. My grandmother knows that. I'm still not allowed to sleep over at his house, though. Last time I bickered with her about it, it was all "you're too young to sleep together! You're not married!" Blah. Eventually I said "I just want to. This is something I want, because he makes me happy." And, in the moment she relented and said she didn't care, but later as I was headed out the door to go see him she gave me a "see you later!" Obviously I said no I wasn't, and she just said "yes you will!" And I was pissed. This isn't the first time she's done this. She just makes me feel small and full of shame for things that make me happy. What do I do to prepare for getting kicked out?

Can somebody who's a lot more tech savvy than me at least point me to where I can ask how I can confirm this, please? I'm seeing red so I cannot think straight rn

I couldn't create an email account for my baby, for the future, with her name, so I decided to Google her full name... And I keep finding random facebook posts that have her first name in the title, and then a text that has her full name, as well as my husband's, mine, his work information, the name of the grandparents. Whenever I click on them, of course I get to the original posts and never to the one that has the text. It looks like an announcement of her birth which we did not consent to.

I know there's a lot of people here who are experts in security, and that understand why I'm furious that all that information is online when we specifically told everybody that we did not even want her first name to appear anywhere public.

So I'm hoping somebody can help me, maybe direct me to a more appropriate sub... Thank you

Just wanting some opinions on age gaps. We have a 4 month old now. We constantly swing between do we only want one (because it’s hard) or two as I’ve always imagined.

I can’t imaging baby girl being an only child. But I also don’t love the newborn and young baby stage.

Here’s the thing, if I am going to have two I want a close age gap 18 months approx… but if I am not going to have them that close then I am not sure I want another. The only reason for two in my eyes would be to have someone to play with and be able to do stuff together. If we start pushing a big age gap I’d be having another baby just to have another baby and then I don’t need that. If that makes sense.

I want opinions on anyone who has ever felt similar? Should we just have two baby phases close together to make the life I’ve imagined, two children close in age or not just not bother and love and spoil our one baby girl?

edit:

Sorry lots of people mentioning that I seem to only think 18 months and anything more is big. I have been told by lots of people 18 months is a good age gap. But having another baby when baby girl is 2 is a challenge age so better to wait until 3 yo (which for me is starting to get bigger). Not that I am only open to 18 months just the idea i was thinking…

My siblings and I are 11 and 8 years apart, so not experienced anything closer and we were definitely not friends growing up.