r/Parents

I need discipline techniques that actually work. Time outs, restriction, yelling, etc does not work and I’m at a loss. I have two daughters who are 9 and 6. My 9 year old is so sweet, smart, silly, and caring. But I think she just has so much energy she (or I) doesn’t know what to do with. For an example, yesterday after school I made them a snack and had them sit at the table and have some screen time while they ate. Every 2 minutes she’s randomly screaming (for no reason) or making loud and obnoxious noises. Just while she’s watching a show and eating. I keep saying “please stop” like five times before I just went up and took the tablet away. I went back to sit down on the couch and she followed me over and just keeps being obnoxious to me. I can’t tell if she feels bad she got the tablet taken away so she’s trying to get my attention or if she thinks she’s going to be so annoying that I’ll give in and give her tablet back. She’s just starting pointless conversations about buttcracks and trying to be silly and purposely doing things she knows I don’t like. But WHY?? She is so smart, in the gifted and talented program, behaves perfectly at school. At home she’s like a different person.

Dinner time is a whole other story. My daughters are constantly being silly to get a reaction out of each other. Their dad and I have to say over and over to behave, stop doing this, knock it off. We made spaghetti the other night and my daughter takes a handful and starts eating out of her hand, she thinks it’s funny and it makes my other daughter laugh. I have to tell her “come on, don’t do that.” And it’s things like this every single night.

They do inappropriate things because they think it’s funny. Like talk about private parts, say bad words, purposely make each other mad, scream for no reason. They do it because they want a reaction, or think it’s funny, or I don’t know. I just feel like they’re so misbehaved that if I were to punish them, they’d be punished all day every day.

Im at a loss. I feel like all day I’m saying “stop doing xyz.” My husband says I need to facilitate more activities but they’re in school now and home from 4-8. They have dance class once a week, play dates once a week, and other activities like restaurants, random outings we do for fun. I feel like they’re old enough to find things to do, like play Barbie’s, play with the many toys they have, color, make bracelets, watch tv. Maybe I’m wrong though. I need some advice. I feel like I’m going crazy. And I feel like I’ve done something wrong raising my kids.

Hey guys, my daughter is 21 months. Me and her dad are having a repeated issue the past 3-4 months and I’m looking for some advice on it.

My fiancée aka her dad is amazing and I mean he truly is a beautiful parent he’s kind caring fun loving the whole packing honestly, and truly is an awesome person. The issue is my daughter has started doing this thing where she grabs onto faces and I don’t mind like a little grab I mean will grab and squeeze so hard it cuts/bleeds after she’s done grabbing. She will squeeze extremely hard. This sometimes happens when she’s upset or trying to regulate her emotions we handle it by removing her hand and explaining to her that what’s she doing hurts and isn’t nice. She is only doing this to me and my partner but honestly mostly him she will do it to him atleast 3 times daily but with me only maybe once a week, we both deal with it the same way and honestly he has the patience of a saint because it really really hurts.
I’m trying to understand how we can stop this from happening and it doesn’t matter how many times we try and explain she just keeps doing it to him.
It’s breaking my heart seeing this keep happening and even worse so for him, he’s at the point he’s not even upset about it anymore he’s just hurt and confused on why she keeps doing it.
A pattern I’ve noticed with her when she does it to him is that for example they can be playing normally then her face just goes blank and she attacks it can literally be out of no where.

I’m just looking for some advice or maybe if anyone is dealing with this them self’s? Is it just the age? Should we be doing more in telling her off? Are we too clam about? I honestly don’t know I will say she does not do it to anyone else but us, not her grandparents family or kids when we are out.

All advice is open at this point.

I am kind of freaking out about a couple brands saying there were traces of asbestos found in the kinetic sand. Is it possible most of the brands not apart of the recall have small traces as well and we just don’t know yet? Are you all throwing away all kinetic sand? I’m so worried.

I’m 18 years old male, live in Australia (If that’s important). I am still in school and I still live at home. My parents in my opinion at least are extremely controlling. They track my location and if I go out with friends will sit on there phone watching what I am doing. Whenever I go out I get about 10 missed calls a night with my mum frantically worrying and about 30 messages to go along with it. I’m sick of it. I’m not doing anything that no one else my age isn’t doing. I tell them the plans I have before going out, and that usually does help them, but sometimes plans change when I’m already out and then they will freak out. My friends have all witnessed this and they all agree that my parents are over the top. It’s mainly mum, but dad sort of will just follow with whatever mum says. I don’t actually know what to do about it because I recognise that my mum has really bad anxiety, but I feel like that’s her problem and she needs to learn how to deal with it. I’m an adult, not there little boy anymore. Once I finish school I want to travel and I fear I won’t be able to do that if my parents are always on my back. They just cause so much unneeded stress in my life and every time I bring it up they always use the “my house, my rules” line. I don’t think they understand that it’s really affecting the relationship I have with them which is unfortunate because I do really love them. It makes me want to move out asap. I would love some advice from other parents aswell.

He’s 4 going on 5 in November. Our kindergarten cutoff is December 1, and when I enrolled my son in preschool almost two years ago, I honestly didn’t think much about how young he would be compared to his classmates. Now that kindergarten is approaching, I’m seriously considering keeping him home for another year.

Academically, his preschool teacher says he is completely on par. My concern is maturity, not academics. He is a very typical, energetic 4-year-old boy and his teacher has noticed that he is clearly one of the youngest in the class. He sometimes needs to be told multiple times to listen/follow directions, and I worry about going from a 2.5-hour half-day preschool to a full-day kindergarten when he is still so young.

I’ve also been reading about relative age, redshirting, and the research around younger children—particularly boys—being more likely to be identified with ADHD or have behavioral/attention concerns. I know that research doesn’t mean being young causes ADHD, but it has made me think more about how much an extra year of maturity could matter. My thought is less “he’ll be academically ahead” and more that being a little older and more mature could help him feel successful, regulate himself, follow directions, and ultimately make school easier for him academically and socially.

The biggest thing making this decision difficult is his school. We LOVE his preschool and it’s one of the better schools in our area. He got in through a lottery, and from what I’ve been told, getting into kindergarten is much harder than getting into preschool. If we keep him home, we’d have to reapply next year and could potentially lose our spot and end up at a different school.

So I’m really torn between giving him another year to mature vs. sending him to kindergarten at a school we already know and love.

I would especially love to hear from moms who have actually redshirted a child, particularly a boy who was one of the youngest in his class. Did you notice a difference in maturity, confidence, behavior, or school experience after waiting a year? Did you feel like it was the right decision long-term? And for those who sent their young child on, how did they do?

I’d really love to hear your personal experiences and what you would do differently (if anything) knowing what you know now.

Please if you could spare two- three minutes for my masters dissertation I would appreciate it so much!!

My son is almost 4, he loves to play with water. Just as long as he doesn't need to get cleaned. When it comes time to wash his hair he starts to freak out, crying, saying hes all done in the water and wants to get out. He doesn't like water getting on his face when I have to rinse his hair of the soap, even just getting it wet is an issue. I've tried using a wash cloth but his hair is so thick it takes forever to get wet. I've tried sitting with him and getting him to put the back of his head in the water but he hates it. He hates the shower even more. I'm at such a loss because bath time is such a fight and he could go forever without taking one if he could. Its been like this since he was around 10 months or something like that, it started young. I don't know what happened. He just switched one day from enjoying the water to absolutely hating it. I've even tried the crown thing that goes on the head to block the water from falling into his face but fights to get it on and will not use it.

He has so many bath toys and bubble baths and things that could make bath time more enjoyable for him. Its just the water getting in his face and getting clean he loathes.

Does it ever get "better"?

What are some ways you worked around this?

I'm at such a loss. I feel like a bad mom because he starts to cry, or get out of the bath etc and I lose my cool and start to raise my voice after trying to be calm and gentle with him.

Any advice or recommendations or anything at this point would be appreciated.

~From a tired, stressed out mom

flying with a 2 year old and a 4 year old to london 8 hours.

economy is 900 each. business on airline site is 4500. found business-class.com for $2100 per ticket.

my wife thinks we should just do economy and deal with it. i think the extra space might save our sanity.

any parents done long haul with young kids in business? was it worth it or did the kids still make it miserable

Needing advice:

Just had my second cesarean and the recovery has been worse than my first. My two are 16 months apart and I feel like I cannot keep up/ properly heal at this rate. My husband has been trying to be helpful and supportive but the more we’re stuck in this routine (newborn having issues sleeping at night and 16 month old is teething) I find myself being disgusted with him and his attitude.

Seems like every discussion has an underhanded comment from him, or an attitude, or just showing frustration. We’ve been together for 11 years and when we first met he used to have anger issues, I’m worried this may bring them back? I just feel like I would rather do things alone at this point than continue to deal with him.

Anything anyone’s done to help with a similar situation?

Thank you~

So back story- in the house there are no computers in rooms/ my kids don’t have phones/ they are not allowed you tube ect. We overall try to be very on top of anything with internet with our kids I guess this is why this breaks me so much. I felt like I tried to do all the right things. Anways…

Last year one night I found my husbands laptop in my sons room. My husband left it out in the counter never uses it that much mainly pulls it out for 3D printing. The code in the computer is one that he uses for everything so my son figured it out. I just happen to go into his room when I heard him still up and saw that he had it. When I saw what he was looking at it was very very graphic porn. The prompt was extremely basic like naked girl… but obviously it doesn’t take much to get to some really really graphic material. He told me a kid at school told him to look it up. Which.. I get young boys talking about girls. Even if it were just nude pics it would be one thing but seeing what he was exposed to just broke my heart bc you can’t unsee it. I’m not very emotional but when I brought him into the room to talk I couldn’t finish talking without crying (I know not great). I think I was just in so much shock.

Anyways I have had multiple conversations with him about how that is not real life calmly ect. He refuses to talk because he gets really embarrassed (this with anytime he is uncomfortable and knows he did something he knows was wrong) so I try not to push a conversation because I was the same way as a child (hated talking about my feelings ect). So time has gone by and I thought we had moved past it changed all pins on everything electronic added even deeper PINS for tv ect.

Right after this happened he spent the night at my moms I hadn’t told her about what happened - he stole her iPad at night did the same thing. (Maybe this was a week later)

It’s been a while now and tonight I was up late and I heard him moving in his bed room and I caught him again with an old iPad that was on top of a cabinet in my bathroom (forgot I even had). But he has had it for at least three nights it died before I could really go through it all. And again just hard core stuff that honestly I can’t even go through. I’m gonna make my husband look at what he was actually looking up ect.

I’m will be going through every inch of this house to find anything that could connect to internet. And changing the WiFi password so on the off chance he were to find something and I missed it won’t work.

But I really don’t know what to do. He is 8 and he has seen too much and the fact that he keeps trying to sneak it is what is really making me just so sad. I don’t know how to fix it or what to do. I don’t want to keep bringing it up but I also don’t want to sweep it under the rug. I don’t want to shame him but I need him to know that what he is watching is not healthy or real or good in anyway.

I’ll take any advice I can get because I’m mentally spiraling and just so heartbroken about all of it. I also don’t want this to turn into some bigger issue down the road. I just don’t know what to do or say to him.

So I’m going to do a long story short. I had a son while living across the country. The mom isn’t involved at all. But her parents are. I decided to move back across the country where all of my family is located. The in law grandparents moved across the country as well so they could be in my son’s life. We live in a small town and they moved into a big city two an half hours away. They are constantly wanting over nights etc etc. and this being my first and only son it’s difficult for me to navigate this. I almost feel as if they want “parenting time” not just to see him birthdays holidays once in awhile. What’s an appropriate amount of time my 2-year old son should be going two and a half hours away to stay the night? I worry he doesn’t even have his own room. I don’t feel he should be sleeping in the same bed as them etc etc but have a hard time communicating these things. Some advice would be helpful.

I made the mistake of telling myself, “We'll just run in for five minutes.”

Twenty minutes later we're discussing snacks.

Ten minutes after that someone needs the bathroom.

Then someone sees something they want.

Then someone is crying.

And somehow this supposedly five-minute trip has consumed half my afternoon.

What is your family's record for turning a quick errand into a full event? 😂

just hit week 6 and the morning sickness is already kicking my butt. i had bought a standard bottle of prenatals before getting pregnant, but trying to swallow these huge giant capsules every morning right now is making me gag instantly.

I know nutrition is super important early on, especially getting enough folate and choline, but I am struggling so hard to keep anything down. Are there any good comprehensive ones that come in a drink mix powder or smaller dose so I don't have to force down massive pills? how did you guys manage taking yours during the worst of the first trimester nauseous phase?

Ok so I am feeling really guilty for letting my nephew touch my baby because he has a wart on his finger. I did eventually cut it off when he started touching her face because it was getting too much in general let alone he has a WART on his finger.
I’m not sure how to go about making sure he never touches my baby again until his wart is gone though because he is soo sensitive and will cry over just about anything. It’s honestly annoying. He’s almost 8. I got in trouble with his mom (my sister in law) one time when I tried lightly discipline him for opening the bathroom door twice intentionally as a joke/game on my husband. I just don’t want to deal with any issues/hard feeling again as things are in a good place right now.
Any advice?

How do I get my baby to walk? I know she can… she’s 13 months old. She’s been cruising since 6 months, and I’ve caught her standing in the middle of the living room and even pushing herself up from a squat into a standing position without pulling on anything.
I’m a SAHM, so she’s very comfortable in our living room. I honestly wonder if she just doesn’t feel the need to walk because she can get around perfectly fine by cruising and crawling. She’s too comfortable…

I’m almost tempted to take her to a local park, sit her down, and stand about 15 feet away because I feel like eventually she’d get tired of being away from me and just stand up and walk over. 😂
How do you encourage a baby to take those first steps? It’s time, this girl has literal black and blue knees from speed-crawling…She also gets frustrated when she sees her older sister walking around and she can’t follow her. But it’s almost like she’s scared to stand up and take those first few steps.
Give me all your tips and tricks!

Having children makes you realise you weren’t the problem and that what your parents done was a choice, they can blame their own up bringing for their actions but we don’t and we choose not to !

How to say No to giving money to your 40 year old daughter that can't keep a job more than a few months.

Do you think it’s worth it traveling via plane on a nature vacation with your 1yo? Why or why not? TY.

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Hi families, please no judgement or hate. Just trying to navigate this confusing time. We are based in Sydney, AUS. My son is almost 2.5, developing well. Knows the alphabet, can hold a conversation, knows 4 languages (can speak 2 languages fluently and slowly learning the other two) and can read numbers up to 100. I do not send him to childcare. All 4 grandparents care for him on alternate days. We do swimming on Monday, playgroup + library Tuesday-Friday for 3 hours with an excursion once a week. On weekends we cook together, lots of playdates and more excursions!

My husband and I work full time and I am getting hounded by friends and family to send him to childcare for social and behavioural development. Saying he will eat better, have less tantrums and clean after himself if we send him to childcare. The grandparents are more than happy to care for him until he goes to pre school.

I just can't shake off this feeling that it doesn't feel right. Why would I want to send him when he has loving caregivers who WANT to look after him?

I'm feeling like a bad parent because I've been told I am "holding him back" from opportunities that a childcare can offer. All my friends send their kids to childcare and the whole family get sick almost every second week. They say getting sick is part of childcare then they wont get it in primary school because they will get sicker then if not now.

We are on the waitlist for pre school when he turns 3 but we keep getting rejected because the waitlist is too long for 4 year olds. Keen to hear your thoughts on this.. thank you!