I know this sounds dark… so let me preface this by saying my partner my SK and my dogs carry so much of my love. My SK made me a mom first, my one dog was my first “baby”, my other dog is the PERFECT dog, my partner is my rock and my person.

But, sometimes when I get extremely overwhelmed (I have ADHD I’m unmedicated and get overstimulation) I think to myself “i could just run away with my baby and things would be so easy”.

My partner and I have “ours”, she’s 1yr and that’s who I’m referring to running away with.

I don’t think this very often maybe once a month…

Is this normal? I’d never actually do it.. actually after I have th thought I get kind of sad because I know I’d miss this family we’ve created but is the impulsive thought a common impulsive thought?

How do I get my baby to walk? I know she can… she’s 13 months old. She’s been cruising since 6 months, and I’ve caught her standing in the middle of the living room and even pushing herself up from a squat into a standing position without pulling on anything.
I’m a SAHM, so she’s very comfortable in our living room. I honestly wonder if she just doesn’t feel the need to walk because she can get around perfectly fine by cruising and crawling. She’s too comfortable…

I’m almost tempted to take her to a local park, sit her down, and stand about 15 feet away because I feel like eventually she’d get tired of being away from me and just stand up and walk over. 😂
How do you encourage a baby to take those first steps? It’s time, this girl has literal black and blue knees from speed-crawling…She also gets frustrated when she sees her older sister walking around and she can’t follow her. But it’s almost like she’s scared to stand up and take those first few steps.
Give me all your tips and tricks!

We have a little girl in our neighborhood who plays with my daughter. Since we met 2 years ago we were told she has an egg allergy. Over the course of 2 years she has eaten over and I have specially separately prepared her food due to her allergy.

This little girl just walked in eating little bites chocolate chip muffins… I asked in a panic “Baby who gave you those?!” Because I thought maybe one of the other kids gave it to her.

She said “my mom”…
I said “I thought you had an egg allergy does you mom know those have egg?”
She explained “yes but they’re baked in egg”.

Which struck me, maybe I don’t know how egg allergies work. I do know on cookie decorating night a few months ago we had to drive to 4 different grocery stores to find an egg free cookie dough specifically for her…

I’m so confused. So what can she have?

I spoke with her pediatrician on her one year check up about the bottle use. I explained “we’ve been working on using a straw, but we’re not quite there yet. Also she eats 5 meals a day and uses whole milk as her drink.”

Ped said i’m doing great. She’s happy to hear LO is fully transitioned to whole milk and also happy to hear that whole milk is not her source of nutrition.

She said I can even give my baby water (so her belly is still hungry for food) if she becomes dependent on the whole milk.

It’s now two weeks later and we use a sippy cup straw during the day, but we still can’t seem to get away from the first morning bottle and night time bottles of whole milk.

I understand there is an issue with tooth decay and that’s why there’s urgency to get her off of the bottle.

But I feel like I’ve cracked a code here and I’ve taken a lot of pressure off of me and my baby,,, for the last three days we brush teeth. I put her down with a baby bottle… filled with water.

Obviously the goal is to wean her off of needing a bottle before bed, but I don’t see an issue with this right now. She seems like she needs that comfort still.

Has anyone else also done this? I’d like some feedback.

I spoke with her pediatrician on her one year check up about the bottle use. I explained “we’ve been working on using a straw, but we’re not quite there yet. Also she eats 5 meals a day and uses whole like as her drink.”

Ped said i’m doing great. She’s happy to hear LO is fully transitioned the whole milk and also happy to hear that whole milk is not her source of nutrition.

She said I can even give my baby water (so her belly is still hungry for food) if she becomes dependent on the whole milk.

It’s now two weeks later and we use a sippy cup straw during the day, but we still can’t seem to get away from the first morning bottle and night time bottles of whole milk.

I understand there is an issue with tooth decay and that’s why there’s urgency to get her off of the bottle.

But I feel like I’ve cracked a code here and I’ve taken a lot of pressure off of me and my baby,,, for the last three days we brush teeth. I put her down with a baby bottle… filled with water.

Obviously the goal is to wean her off of needing a bottle before bed, but I don’t see an issue with this right now. She seems like she needs that comfort still.

Has anyone else also done this? I’d like some feedback.

My mother and I have always had a hot and cold relationship. She had me when she was 19 and my bio dad was not around. Quick overview on our relationship:

From birth to 3yo we were each-others person.
4-6yo we struggled (transitioning into a new home with my new stepdad).
6-10 we found peace together again.
11-20yo we were at war.

I also moved out of state at 16 and didn’t return home until 21yo because the relationship was so physically and mentally toxic and violent. So It wasn’t until I was an adult that we reconnected.

Because we had so many disputes I was in counseling and therapy for most of my life. I was always the problem. As an adult I’ve been able to digest her and always just chalked her behavior up to narcissism. And her brother and my cousins agree they see it to and have always been a safe place for me agreeing “you mother has some things she needs to work through”.

But at 28yo, I’m now a mom. And her behavior is the same. The closer I look the only thing that has changed about our relationship is the way I CHOOSE to respond.

Through all the therapy they put me through I feel as though I have surpassed my own mother as far as emotional intelligence and regulation goes. And I’m starting to wonder if these untreatable narcissistic personality traits are actually a very treatable borderline personality disorder.

Maybe I’m just living on a prayer hoping this to be true for the sake of my daughter’s relationship with her grandmother.

I’d like to explain some of the symptoms and get some feedback back on what you all think. Before I list out symptoms I’d like to give background on my mother. She’s very responsible, loves a schedule, has always held an office administrative job, middle class, crafty, wakes up at 4am to work out, was vegan for 6 years, just an overall dedicated person. She does it ALL fabulously despite being a raging alcoholic.

Now to her symptoms…

She acts like I owe her constantly because she “gave her life up” to raise me
She changes jobs like underwear because she can’t stand Becky in the front office (just for example)
She has tried to physically fight at least one family member yearly
She thinks she’s good one second and then gravels for approval the next because “I don’t know why everyone is mad at me”
She will recklessly drunk drive
Binge on alcohol Or starve her self of food
She starts new “projects” as a way of life every year although she’s 50
And her anger is daily and explosive.

What do you think? Is this textbook narcissism or something that can be mediated

I have a step daughter (picky) and a 1yr old daughter that’s never had processed food no puffs, no crackers ONLY whole food (she ate non natural sugar her first time during her smash cake).

My step daughter goes to school/ summer camp. Her lunch is one from each category (like I said she’s picky and these are all safe foods for her)

Main meals: ham cheese roll ups, pb&j, pita bread pizza sauce and mozzarella (DIY PIZZA LUNCHABLES)
Fruit: bananas, apples or grapes,
Veggies: celery, carrots, popcorn or pistachios
Grain: pretzels, popcorn or veggie straws
Snack: jerky, string cheese or yogurt

Do I feel great about it? No. Could it be healthier? Yes.
But We have come a long way in the last two years. When I entered the picture my SK only ate chicken nuggets, cheese pizza, and plain hamburgers. If she ate something else like Mac and cheese or French fries it had to be a specific brand. I blame this on her bio mom.

On bio moms weeks Still till this day she cooks two separate dinners and instead of arguing or taking time to pack a lunch she just drops of a personal pizza or McDonald at school. She probably doesn’t even know that her daughter has started to enjoy other foods and is willing to eat healthier.

But the real issue I’m having isn’t even her or my step daughter. It’s about MY DAUGHTER. I’m freaking scared to send her to daycare/ school. From my understanding the school lunches are hamburgers, bosco sticks mini tacos, and chicken nuggets. Then my SD will trade with her friends because her friends parents pack candy, chips, chocolate granola bars, fruit snack (aka candy, be so real)….

Like what are we feeding our kids? Is this the best we can do? Is it just America? What happened to eating Whole Foods? I don’t want to be a crazy mom but I’m just gonna say my baby is allergic to keep her from eating a whole days worth of processed foods…

Packing a healthy lunch takes just as long as packing a shitty sugary processed lunch WTH is going on.
HOW DO I NAVIGATE MY FEAR OF MY CHILD BEING EXPOSED TO ONLY PROCESSED FOODS. Like if we as parents don’t offer Whole Foods the can and will go there whole day eating nothing but junk….

I have a step daughter (picky) and a 1yr old daughter that’s never had processed food no puffs, no crackers ONLY whole food (she ate non natural sugar her first time during her smash cake).

My step daughter goes to school/ summer camp. Her lunch is one from each category (like I said she’s picky and these are all safe foods for her)

Main meals: ham cheese roll ups, pb&j, pita bread pizza sauce and mozzarella (DIY PIZZA LUNCHABLES)
Fruit: bananas, apples or grapes,
Veggies: celery, carrots, popcorn or pistachios
Grain: pretzels, popcorn or veggie straws
Snack: jerky, string cheese or yogurt

Do I feel great about it? No. Could it be healthier? Yes.
But We have come a long way in the last two years. When I entered the picture my SK only ate chicken nuggets, cheese pizza, and plain hamburgers. If she ate something else like Mac and cheese or French fries it had to be a specific brand. I blame this on her bio mom.

On bio moms weeks Still till this day she cooks two separate dinners and instead of arguing or taking time to pack a lunch she just drops of a personal pizza or McDonald at school. She probably doesn’t even know that her daughter has started to enjoy other foods and is willing to eat healthier.

But the real issue I’m having isn’t even her or my step daughter. It’s about MY DAUGHTER. I’m freaking scared to send her to daycare/ school. From my understanding the school lunches are hamburgers, bosco sticks mini tacos, and chicken nuggets. Then my SD will trade with her friends because her friends parents pack candy, chips, chocolate granola bars, fruit snack (aka candy, be so real)….

Like what are we feeding our kids? Is this the best we can do? Is it just America? What happened to eating Whole Foods? I don’t want to be a crazy mom but I’m just gonna say my baby is allergic to keep her from eating a whole days worth of processed foods…

Packing a healthy lunch takes just as long as packing a shitty sugary processed lunch WTH is going on.
HOW DO I NAVIGATE MY FEAR OF MY CHILD BEING EXPOSED TO ONLY PROCESSED FOODS. Like if we as parents don’t offer Whole Foods the can and will go there whole day eating nothing but junk….

Difference in families and parenting styles. My partner was very coddled in my opinion. His family is very “vanilla”. No one watches scary movies, every food is spicy, everyone was “high school sweethearts”, etc….

I was raised very different, my mom had me at 19 and we lived in an apartment in Chicago for the first 4 years of my life with practically nothing. So I learned to eat anything put in front of me, I was never picky. Then my mom moved up financially in life, and we enjoyed it together. Meaning I was along for the ride. she’s didn’t wait till I was in bed to watch an r-rated show (shit we finally had a TV)….she didn’t ever watch her language, she was just her and I was just me and we did it together. If there was truly adult things like sex, arguments, substances she told me to go play and I did, I understood that adult time was happening and I needed to go find my own entertainment. Bottom line, She didn’t “filter” life for me. No it’s not perfect but it’s how I was raised. We grew up together…

My SK is coddled the way my partner was raised. SK is 9yr. Thinks bell peppers are spicy, won’t eat off brand any thing (not even Ritz crackers) scared of six flags water slides (like full melt down over getting in line), cried during the nightmare before Christmas movie, asks for help to rinse hair out in the shower, can’t grab clothes of hangers, can’t get their own glass of water, and can’t entertain themselves for more then 20min at a time before asking for an adult to set up an activity (print a craft, Simon says, scavenger hunt, etc..)

It’s not my kid so….I watch my mouth. I don’t watch anything “inappropriate” on tv. Everything I cook is “SK safe” so I’m stuck eating kid dinners, watching kids baking championship and constantly censoring myself. My life has come to being a fake version of myself until bedtime.

FOR EXAMPLE
SK friend was talking about how LAST summer there fam went to great wolf lodge(when the friend was 7yo). And we promised SK we’d go this summer at 9yo, we had to test it at six flags to see if SK was ready (which already sounds ridiculous, what 9yo isn’t running to the next water slide line?) but it’s a fcking melt down every new slide. So I guess we can’t go?

I’m just so confused and frustrated, maybe im harsh because I was raised so different. But I just really need some insight from literally ANYONE. I hate to feel like my SK who I love needs to grow up but I was just not like this at their age…

BACKGROUND: As I’m getting older my hair is a lot darker than it used to be, but I’m a natural blonde. I got it professionally lightened pre-pregnancy and now a year and a half later I decided to bleach my hair at home.

BLEACHING: My thin hair lightened very quickly and because I had 7 inches of regrowth Virgin hair plus the bleached ends. It took me one 40 minute bleach session at home to get my hair to a level nine.

TONER RESULTS: Then I hit it with T 18 wella toner + 20 volume developer. I loved the results. It was a cool toned blonde.

ISSUE: it only lasted a week now I’m back to Ramen noodle yellow, and I only took 4 showers.

QUESTION: Is there a better toner? Should I be using a permanent, Demi or semi permanent toner? I know nothing about toners except for the fact that that T 18 Wella only lasted 4 washes….

I’m 10 months postpartum and I still catch myself thinking, “Wow, I really overthought that,” or “I made that so much harder than it needed to be.”

Then I see other moms posting about newborn anxiety, and I’m always the first to jump in and reassure them.

At the end of the day, your worries are valid. I mean, shit this is your first rodeo.

So why is it still so hard to give myself that same grace? Why am I so quick to comfort other moms in their worries, but feel ashamed of my own? The world may never know.

But if you’re reading this and starting to feel the same way (and you probably will at some point), remember this post: give yourself grace, too. And the advice you’re posting to other moms might be some actual mom instincts (the same ones you feel you lack when you’re winding down at the end of the day).

We’re all trying and learning and you’re doing great.

For you SAH 50/50 step parents. Please share your TRUE, RAW, unapologetic feelings.

I’m a SAHM to my LO (10mo) and SS (8yo).

All day I’m taking care of the baby, cleaning, doing laundry, dishes, bottles, picking up dog shit, house stuff all during naps if I’m lucky. Then school pickup happens, homework, dinner, Greenlight chores, baths, packing lunches, closing the kitchen….. and by the end of it all? No, I don’t want to “hang out.”

I want the baby to go to sleep and my SS to go entertain himself for a while. I don’t want to play a board game or watch a family movie. I don’t even want to HAVE to interact with my kids. I want a bath, my TV show, silence, adult time with my partner or a couple beers.

I know I sound like a jack ass but that’s why I’m posting. Maybe I am a shit person because I’m not one of those “super moms” constantly trying to squeeze in more family time every second of the day.

I feel guilty because sometimes I feel like I spend more time trying to get away from my kids than trying to play with them.

but I know I can’t be the only one…

I’m a SAHM to my LO (10mo) and SS (8yo).

All day I’m taking care of the baby, cleaning, doing laundry, dishes, bottles, picking up dog shit, house stuff all during naps if I’m lucky. Then school pickup happens, homework, dinner, Greenlight chores, baths, packing lunches, closing the kitchen….. and by the end of it all? No, I don’t want to “hang out.”

I want the baby to go to sleep and my SS to go entertain himself for a while. I don’t want to play a board game or watch a family movie. I don’t even want to HAVE to interact with my kids. I want a bath, my TV show, silence, adult time with my partner or a couple beers.

I know I sound like a jack ass but that’s why I’m posting. Maybe I am a shit person because I’m not one of those “super moms” constantly trying to squeeze in more family time every second of the day.

I feel guilty because sometimes I feel like I spend more time trying to get away from my kids than trying to play with them.

but I know I can’t be the only one…

I’m a SAHM to my LO (10mo) and SS (8yo).

All day I’m taking care of the baby, cleaning, doing laundry, dishes, bottles, picking up dog shit, house stuff all during naps if I’m lucky.

Then school pickup happens, homework, dinner, Greenlight chores, baths, packing lunches, closing the kitchen….. and by the end of it all? No, I don’t want to “hang out.”

I want the baby to go to sleep and my SS to go entertain himself for a while. I don’t want to play a board game or watch a family movie. I don’t even want to HAVE to interact with my kids. I want a bath, my TV show, silence, adult time with my partner or a couple beers.

I know I sound like a jack ass but that’s why I’m posting. Maybe I am a shit person because I’m not one of those “super moms” constantly trying to squeeze in more family time every second of the day.

I feel guilty because sometimes I feel like I spend more time trying to get away from my kids than trying to play with them.

but I know I can’t be the only one…

My 10 month old has held her own bottle for 2-3 months. I bought these (around 7mo) when I realized she was “capable”.
https://a.co/d/0deDUe4W

But she still uses the nipple attachment not the sippy spout. The sippy spout causes a melt down. Also she has to be laying properly to get milk, if I try to hand her her bottle while sitting (high chair, car seat, play mat) she gets pissed because “nothing is coming out”. She hasn’t figured out how (gravity works) to tilt the bottle. It’s understandable she’s still just a lil thing.

My question is when did your little one switch to sippy cup nipples and when did they start tilting there bottle being able to drink sitting up?

Is my baby behind? Sometimes I feel like she’s being a lazy girl.

Do I collaborate with my SK to craft/buy a gift for dad? I know that BM is going to do this as well, and that might be weird for SK “I already got daddy a gift with mom”.

I’m a very involved step mom. Additionally I will be crafting a gift to give him from ours (9 month LO).

Do I let BM and SK have their moment and stay separate? I don’t want SK to feel left out when dad receives a gift from me and ours.
I’d hate to start drawing lines in the sand especially because SK is old enough to notice a separation…but also, SK doesn’t need to give dad 2 gifts… at that point “our” gift, the “second” time around…. Can come off as "transactional" and less meaningful… like “I already did this”.