u/OutsideCharity6424

I’m 10 months postpartum and I still catch myself thinking, “Wow, I really overthought that,” or “I made that so much harder than it needed to be.”

Then I see other moms posting about newborn anxiety, and I’m always the first to jump in and reassure them.

At the end of the day, your worries are valid. I mean, shit this is your first rodeo.

So why is it still so hard to give myself that same grace? Why am I so quick to comfort other moms in their worries, but feel ashamed of my own? The world may never know.

But if you’re reading this and starting to feel the same way (and you probably will at some point), remember this post: give yourself grace, too. And the advice you’re posting to other moms might be some actual mom instincts (the same ones you feel you lack when you’re winding down at the end of the day).

We’re all trying and learning and you’re doing great.

For you SAH 50/50 step parents. Please share your TRUE, RAW, unapologetic feelings.

I’m a SAHM to my LO (10mo) and SS (8yo).

All day I’m taking care of the baby, cleaning, doing laundry, dishes, bottles, picking up dog shit, house stuff all during naps if I’m lucky. Then school pickup happens, homework, dinner, Greenlight chores, baths, packing lunches, closing the kitchen….. and by the end of it all? No, I don’t want to “hang out.”

I want the baby to go to sleep and my SS to go entertain himself for a while. I don’t want to play a board game or watch a family movie. I don’t even want to HAVE to interact with my kids. I want a bath, my TV show, silence, adult time with my partner or a couple beers.

I know I sound like a jack ass but that’s why I’m posting. Maybe I am a shit person because I’m not one of those “super moms” constantly trying to squeeze in more family time every second of the day.

I feel guilty because sometimes I feel like I spend more time trying to get away from my kids than trying to play with them.

but I know I can’t be the only one…

I’m a SAHM to my LO (10mo) and SS (8yo).

All day I’m taking care of the baby, cleaning, doing laundry, dishes, bottles, picking up dog shit, house stuff all during naps if I’m lucky. Then school pickup happens, homework, dinner, Greenlight chores, baths, packing lunches, closing the kitchen….. and by the end of it all? No, I don’t want to “hang out.”

I want the baby to go to sleep and my SS to go entertain himself for a while. I don’t want to play a board game or watch a family movie. I don’t even want to HAVE to interact with my kids. I want a bath, my TV show, silence, adult time with my partner or a couple beers.

I know I sound like a jack ass but that’s why I’m posting. Maybe I am a shit person because I’m not one of those “super moms” constantly trying to squeeze in more family time every second of the day.

I feel guilty because sometimes I feel like I spend more time trying to get away from my kids than trying to play with them.

but I know I can’t be the only one…

I’m a SAHM to my LO (10mo) and SS (8yo).

All day I’m taking care of the baby, cleaning, doing laundry, dishes, bottles, picking up dog shit, house stuff all during naps if I’m lucky.

Then school pickup happens, homework, dinner, Greenlight chores, baths, packing lunches, closing the kitchen….. and by the end of it all? No, I don’t want to “hang out.”

I want the baby to go to sleep and my SS to go entertain himself for a while. I don’t want to play a board game or watch a family movie. I don’t even want to HAVE to interact with my kids. I want a bath, my TV show, silence, adult time with my partner or a couple beers.

I know I sound like a jack ass but that’s why I’m posting. Maybe I am a shit person because I’m not one of those “super moms” constantly trying to squeeze in more family time every second of the day.

I feel guilty because sometimes I feel like I spend more time trying to get away from my kids than trying to play with them.

but I know I can’t be the only one…

My 10 month old has held her own bottle for 2-3 months. I bought these (around 7mo) when I realized she was “capable”.
https://a.co/d/0deDUe4W

But she still uses the nipple attachment not the sippy spout. The sippy spout causes a melt down. Also she has to be laying properly to get milk, if I try to hand her her bottle while sitting (high chair, car seat, play mat) she gets pissed because “nothing is coming out”. She hasn’t figured out how (gravity works) to tilt the bottle. It’s understandable she’s still just a lil thing.

My question is when did your little one switch to sippy cup nipples and when did they start tilting there bottle being able to drink sitting up?

Is my baby behind? Sometimes I feel like she’s being a lazy girl.

Do I collaborate with my SK to craft/buy a gift for dad? I know that BM is going to do this as well, and that might be weird for SK “I already got daddy a gift with mom”.

I’m a very involved step mom. Additionally I will be crafting a gift to give him from ours (9 month LO).

Do I let BM and SK have their moment and stay separate? I don’t want SK to feel left out when dad receives a gift from me and ours.
I’d hate to start drawing lines in the sand especially because SK is old enough to notice a separation…but also, SK doesn’t need to give dad 2 gifts… at that point “our” gift, the “second” time around…. Can come off as "transactional" and less meaningful… like “I already did this”.

Im really upset. My SS first communion is next weekend. My DHs ex reached out and asked “parents of the kids are to be sat together in the front pews, you will be sitting with me right” he said yes.

Then he told me that they would be sitting together and there is seating for me in the back pews where baby (our child together) and I can sit.

I told him how I wasn’t comfortable with this, I think it’s weird.

I’m a parental figure in his life. I’m a SAHM and I do school pick ups/ drop offs, homework, photo day or sports gear shopping, bed time routines and pack lunches. Not to toot my own horn but I’m a VERY INVOLVED step parent. I treat him like my own.

We have all (DH, BM, and I) gone to one other event together in support of SS. and we were sitting separately but made sure to let SS know “hey look we’re all here for you”!

I don’t know what im more upset about. The fact that BM thought it was appropriate to ask, or the fact that DH said yes. Maybe it’s the the fact that I was never asked or considered to sit in parents pew with them. Or that DH didn’t offer to sit with us instead. IDK what’s more upsetting.

I’m not insecure in the fact that I’d think that they are going to be doing anything other the supporting there shared child together in that pew. But I am incredibly unhappy about the fact the unless I spoke up and said “that’s uncomfortable for me” the plan would have been for them to sit together and have me and baby pews behind them.

Anything would have been more considerate to me. I feel like the proposed plan is very ostracizing and inconsiderate. I am I causing drama? I feel like her asking him to sit in the pew is causing the unnecessary drama. Like why would you make that an option when it’s weird and frankly disrespectful to me. That should never have been have been requested.

How would you feel?

I’ve always struggled with confidence, constantly "picking myself apart" and setting goals to fix insecurities only to have new ones pop up. The only time I felt truly at peace was during pregnancy. I was so amazed by my body’s ability to grow my child that my self scrutiny finally disappeared.

I’m nine months postpartum, my insecurities have intensified. My "new" body is unresponsive to the habits that used to work. My nails don’t grow, my hair is falling out, the weight won’t come off.

The most frustrating part is the exhaustive effort required to maintain myself while putting my child's needs first. I squeeze in a DIY checklist in hope to upkeep myself as a woman. lashes, nails, waxing, tanning, hair, and teeth whitening. I even laminate and dye my own brows. AND I still don’t feel pretty or at peace.

Bottom line, I am working twice as hard for zero results. Why is my body no longer responding, why don’t I feel good about myself. and will I ever be able to stop fighting with myself?

Mind you, I have this over looming fear that an old friend or coworker who I haven’t seen since pre pregnancy will see me out and think “well she let her self go after one baby, what a shame”.

My LO (9mo & 17lbs) is crawling and cruising. Also, she’s sleeps like she’s recovering from a hangover 😂. It’s the norm for her to sleep 7-12 hours without waking for a feed or change.

Whether she’s waking up from a long stretch or exploring the house, leaks have become our daily reality.

During the night, she’s soaking through, and during the day, her 'on-the-go' BMs aren't being contained at all.

We use target brand up&up.

She’s in a size 3 (2s seem to harshly rub)

Does the brand just suck? Do I have her in the wrong size? Are overnight diapers something to consider or are they a scam?

Just a gentle note: I’m not looking for advice on waking her for changes. She has only ever had one diaper rash in her LIFE (actually cause by changing to frequently). Prioritizing routine and minimizing nightly wake ups has been a wonderful success for us (and her skin is perfectly happy!), so I’m strictly looking for advice on diapers to match her needs. Thanks!