r/SAHP

curious how other couples handle this because i've seen completely different opinions on it. once your partner gets home, do you still handle basically everything or do they jump in with dinner, bedtime, cleaning, whatever? trying to figure out what's actually normal.

Hello I’m new to this sub! I have 4 boys (14y, 6y, 3y, 8weeks). Recently I was pushed into being a stay at home mom. It’s not something I’ve ever wanted. I’m not gonna get into all that, but I’m dealing with a wicked combination of regular life depression and postpartum depression. Some days I just don’t want to talk to anyone and definitely don’t want to leave the house to go to the playground. But the guilt of my kids just playing on their consoles and tablets is also overwhelming. I feel like I can’t win and can’t do anything right. Failure of a mother. The trenches are deep y’all. I’m looking for suggestions and advice for ways I can entertain these boys on my bad depression days. We do love the playground but sometimes I just don’t have it in me. I’m looking for things they can do/we can do together thats low effort for me and low risk of mental breakdown. I hope this is making sense, I’m exhausted. Looking forward to any advice or suggestions you have! Thank you! Xoxo

After becoming parents we tried a bunch of baby tracking apps because we kept forgetting feeds, naps and diaper changes during night shifts.

Most apps felt either:
• too complicated
• outdated
• overloaded with ads
• or missing sync between parents

So I compared the most popular ones we tested.
Would love to hear if I missed any.

1. Baby Tracker - Soriva — 4.8/5
   Best for:
   • real-time sync between parents
   • clean modern UI
   • nap predictions
   • fast logging

Cons:
• still a newer app
• fewer integrations than older apps

2. Huckleberry — 4.6/5
   Best sleep prediction features.
   Very polished.
   Can feel expensive quickly.

3. Baby Daybook — 4.2/5
   Feature packed.
   Good for detailed tracking.
   UI felt slightly overwhelming for us.

4. Nara Baby — 4.0/5
   Minimal and clean.
   Good free option.
   Missing some advanced syncing/reminders.

Would love recommendations from other parents.

Hi! I’m looking for advice on if I should go back to work or quit after my maternity leave is over. My husband is the primary earner but I am not far behind him. Ever since I was a kid I knew I wanted to be a mom and a SAHM. I’m just nervous now with AI that my husband’s job could be at risk in a few years. My company has an excellent maternity leave (6 months full pay), and I know I want to have a second kid in less than two years. Should I suck it up and go back to work to just get pregnant quickly and then quit after the second kid is born? Or should I just quit now? If I can go back to work, the maternity leave alone would be just over $100k (before taxes). I feel like I’m leaving stupid money on the table but at the same time I love my newborn so much. Help!

I’m a 29F and I’ve been a Kindergarten teacher for 5 years now. It’s been such an incredible experience and I absolutely love the school I work in. My husband and I are having a baby in October and we’ve decided it was easiest for me to stay home to raise our baby and I’ll possibly return to teaching in after some years.

Any advice on being a new mom/staying at home? My husband is a dentist and has a more flexible schedule (works from W-F and has the other days off). All of my family lives in a different state and some of his lives near us in FL. I’m not sure if this information is helpful but just curious your thoughts!

I'm 14 months into being a SAHM and also just turned 40. I've been so focused on bub that I've neglected myself. My skin is dry and so is my well of patience, I'm ready to feel a bit more human again!

Husband works hard and is very involved when he's home. I'm not looking for more big blocks of 'me' time. So rather than, say, a monthly spa day and all the logistics/expense that come with that, I've started working little moments of self care into my day where I can.

Things like:
-Popping on a sheet mask while I cook breakfast,
-using teeth whitening strips while I do bedtime,
-switching my kitchen hand soap for something fancy, -playing affirmation songs for kids that are really for me, -letting bub play with the controls on my electric recliner so I can enjoy a 5 minute rest in the chair before he inevitably gets bored and starts emptying all the clean clothes out of the drawers instead.

Please share with me any of the little ways you're sneaking some moments of self care into your day!

My husband and I just had our first baby — he’s 3 months old — and I’m having such a hard time deciding whether I should go back to work or stay home.

If I’m being completely honest with myself, I think I want to leave my job and be a SAHM, especially since we plan to have more kids in the future. But I work in corporate America making around $185k/year with amazing benefits, and it feels almost silly to walk away from that kind of income and stability.

My husband makes around $200k/year, but his benefits aren’t great, so we’d likely move to a Christian healthcare plan if I left my job and for future pregnancies/babies. Financially we will be fine, but it still feels scary giving up that large amount of money.

I think the hardest part for me is imagining going back to being in an office 5 days a week with an hour commute each way and only getting a couple hours a day with my baby. At the same time, I’m scared of regretting giving up income.

For moms who left high-paying careers to stay home — do you regret it? Or was it worth it for you?

So half the stuff people told me to put on my baby registry checklist I've used maybe twice. But then there are these random purchases that somehow became part of literally every single day.
A shopping cart cover was one of those. I genuinely almost didn't get one, thought it seemed like overkill. But my daughter is still at that wobbly stage where she slumps sideways in the cart like she's trying to escape out the side, and regular cart seats don't do anything to help with that.
And the high chair thing at restaurants? Some of those straps are so grimy or just completely broken. I've started using the same cover there too and it honestly makes eating out feel so much less stressful.
Anyway, curious what's on your list of things that weren't on your baby registry must haves but ended up being things you actually reach for all the time?

I had my third baby 7 months ago. I have not enjoyed being a SAHM for the past 3 years. I want to enjoy it because I love my kids and want to be there for them, but I am a shell of a person. My psychiatrist suggest that I add Lexapro to my meds (I’m already on Ritalin for adhd). I’m not sure if this will finally help me lift myself out of this funk and enjoy my kids again or if the solution is to go back to work.

I have family help through this week and then will be solo for the majority of the day. No daycare. Husband is very involved but not home til the evening. The toddler is used to going outside or to the park in the morning and idk how I’m going to do that solo with him and the newborn. Toddler loves to climb and still needs close monitoring at the park so I’m normally up on all the equipment with him.

Looking for advice on taking both kids out solo as well as ways to entertain toddler during the day at home.

I need advice from whomever can offer some insight on time management while being a stay at home mom and working on a PhD

I recently was accepted into a PhD program (fully online) and am set to start Fall 2026. I also quite my job to be a stay at home mom and work on my PhD. The online aspect of the program allows me to navigate my schedule and be present for my girls (1 year old and 4 year old). I do teach adjunct economics online and I schedule my courses very well that all mainly maintain communicate with students and grade assignments and exams throughout the semester.

The reason I quit my job was because I hardly saw my girls. My 1 year old was at daycare for 9-10 hours/day and by the time I got home, I held her for 30 minutes and she was so tired that she went to bed at 6:30pm. My oldest was at my sisters or school for the same amount of time. and would go to bed at 7:30pm. With her I saw a lot of behavior tantrum episodes and always missing me. Do not get me started on the disaster of a house our home looked like, as my husband also works full time.

My husband has the income for us to afford me quitting my job. The plan is for me to stay home until our youngest starts school in about 4 years. During this time, I would manage our home and also work on my PhD

To navigate my time and be there for my girls, I have developed a schedule. My courses are 2x/week from 6:00pm-8:30pm and I will study/course work when the girls go down from 7:30pm until about 10:30 and again while my baby naps during the day and while my oldest is at school. Starting Spring 2027, my baby will attend our church child care 2x per week for four hours. This will give me more study time.

To manage house work, I have created a daily task list with 3 priorities (laundry, cleaning, grooming dogs, etc.). We eat dinner at 5-5:30, which I will also prepare.

I know I will need a strong support system from my husband, but that is where I struggle. He is hesitant to fully support me on the PhD aspect of me quitting. His position is that I could not handle the stress when he was studying for his professional exam for 8 months. I argued that was different because I had a 6 month old baby, breast feeding around the clock (I was an over producer and managed to freeze 6 months worth of milk in addition to what my baby was eating daily), I was working full time 8-5pm+communite, packing lunch for the girls and meal prepping for us, bedtime routine, taking the girls to their extra curricular activities, and managing any surprises that came up...ALONE, while he studied. I saw him maying for 10 minutes a day for months. He believes I will put him through the same if I am in a PhD program, but 5 years instead of 8 months. I cannot talk to him about anything PhD related because his candor is pessimistic and not optimistic. I avoid the PhD conversation all together. His second argument is 'how will we pay for it?' This is a fair question, and my response is that I will use his Chapter 35 VA benefit to pay for 35 months of tuition and by the time that ends I can use my adjunct money to pay for the difference as we will be out of debt and he would have received a substantial raise from his professional license registration.

I do not see the problem, but I do not have 100% of his support.

Is there anyone out there who can relate to my situation? Is there anyone who can tell me that they have been through what I am about to go through and offer their success story.

We are bouncing around between hot humid and rainy cold weather here in Ontario, and it's driving my kids a little bonkers. They want to get outside, and 50% of the time it's just not possible, and after a blistering week of lots of outdoor play... they are bereft. Best ways to keep my kids busy when they are cooped up?

It happens quite often that I get asked, what work do you do, do you have to go to work today, or similar work related questions. How do I respond to those as a SAHM?

I’m hovering between 7-8 hours on average a day. I’m mortified but it doesn’t feel like I’m actually spending all that time on my phone.

Maybe add in your kid count & ages, maybe that’s the differentiating factor 😅

I cannot figure out a system to keep our car clean!! I can’t get over how much crap sneaks into that back seat lol

i have a toddler and baby. baby hates car and is always screaming so I’m rushing to get her out. or toddler needs to potty so I’m rushing to the bathroom. or I need to potty 🤣 needless to say, when I park I m just focused on getting humans out of the car and not the stuff.

ive tried buckets and bags and boxes and it’s just Doesnt work for me

what do you do!!?

I'm not asking for help. I'm just saying it.

Four black hoodies, all the same one, all from athleta, bought across three years. Four pairs of gray joggers, two from old navy and two from the same athleta line. One pair of slip-on sneakers. One denim jacket I wear when we go to my in-laws so they don't worry.

Two kids under 5. Working from home part-time on top. Wake up at 6:10, kid up at 6:18, my "morning routine" is whatever clothes are closest to the bed.

I think about getting dressed dressed maybe once a month and then I look at the kids and the laundry and the snack situation and put the hoodie back on. The hoodies don't make me sad. They're soft. They're warm. I just realized this week that the soft warm thing has been the entire wardrobe for almost two years and I had not noticed because the days bleed.

The other thing is, when I do try a "real" outfit I have nothing to put it with anymore. My jeans don't fit. The blouses are too dressy for any room I actually enter. There's no in-between in this closet and there's no in-between in my life right now either.

I am genuinely not asking for help. The hoodie is fine. I'm just describing it.

I'm a SAHM mom and while I live being with my kids, there are days when I feel overwhelmed and tired. Was wondering do full time working moms find it more difficult, or is it better, bcz they have something they do for themselves and get time away from kids? Plus, those who are earning and contributing to the society directly are given more respect and esteem.

So I left a high stress decently paying career when DD was born and my husband a high earning tech worker wanted me to stay home. I was nursing so it was an easy decision. It was hard but an amazing relationship to just be my babies everything. Along the way I ended up starting an informal group for a nice topic that is tangential to things that make other people money. So after a few years of doing that volunteer we got sponsored to make it a non profit and I backed the sole half time staff person. This was amazing as my only went into preschool at 3 I also started working a salaried job that was part time, remote and really I was accountable to no one so made my own hours. Well three layers dd is finishing kindergarten and I’m thinking of walking away. My hubs is tired of the trips (maybe 5/6 times a year for a few days for conferences). He would like more of my attention on the home. And I’m tired of the jobs politics and my daughter is only getting older.

But I do realize the position is a unicorn and maybe I’m crazy for walking away? Idk what do other people think, anyone else get a good gig when kids were out of the toddler stage but then return to full time parenting after a bit?

This post/survey is mod-approved.

Hi everyone,

I’m a faculty member at the University of Wisconsin–Whitewater conducting an IRB-approved study about how parents view physical education (PE) in elementary schools.

I’m looking for responses from U.S.-based parents or guardians of children currently in elementary school. The anonymous survey takes about 1–2 minutes and asks about:
• how parents value PE
• PE’s role within schools
• perceptions of PE program quality

As stay-at-home parents are often closely involved in children’s school routines and experiences, I thought this community might have valuable perspectives to share.

Survey link:
https://uwwhitewater.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_dmWkhvH3cBKhlNI

Thank you so much for your time and help!