r/firsttimemom

Membrane sweep, my due date is next Wednesday, I’ve had some cramping and lots of pelvic pressure/pain. I am not really sure how women get the membrane sweep? Do you ask for it? Is it for just women who are high risk? I’d like to ask for it because I have never been more uncomfortable in my life. For reference, I’m 4’11, I’ve always been around 94lbs now I’m 136, so I’m reallllyyyy feeling it now! Just wondering how to go about it, what it’s about!

And yes I did research about it but like hearing other moms opinions❤️

FTM baby turned 10 weeks old and i feel i am not doing enough. I am in constant worry that my baby isnt earing enough, or as clean as they say a baby should be (i bath him alternate days) doing everything alone so canot focus on doing extra activities with/for rhe baby this is all making have a constant guilt of not doing enough and i am irresponsible wirh my baby and he isn't getting everything or perhaps what other babies are getting

My baby is 9 months about to be 10 months and I am so scared to put her on the floor she already knows how to crawl and wants to be on the floor on her own. But I am scared for her hitting her head we have no carpet it’s just floor. I also have a cat so obviously there’s a litter box and cats bowls.. I do have an abc foam mat but obviously it’s not all over the house I want her to explore we don’t have enough space for those big play pens.. any recommendations??? Tia

i had my baby 6 days ago and in the hospital we had trouble with her bilirubin levels. i’m trying to breastfeed but i also mix the formula with it so it’s like one part formula one part breast milk in each bottle. her poops and pees have been so different each day i just don’t know if she’s getting enough to eat to keep her healthy. we haven’t been to the pediatrician yet because we spent 4 days in the hospital after she was born and went yesterday to the hospital for an in-between check up. they said she’s fine, and i’m sure it’s just ftm anxiety but i really can’t tell if she’s having enough to eat because her diaper changes have been so different each day. one day she’s going like crazy and the next she hasn’t pooped in 24 hours. i tried just formula and that’s when she stopped popping, i tried to have her latch but i can’t tell if she’s actually getting anything. idk what to do anymore. if anyone has any advice please share.
edit: she was also born at 36 weeks 6days if that changes anything. thank you.

Sharing only because this “baby hack” has worked so unbelievably well for me and our 5 week old that not posting about it was starting to feel like gatekeeping…

Poop Hack: Massage baby’s feet to help alleviate mild constipation and/or when they’re actively trying/straining but without luck.

Foot massages can be done while baby is laying down on their back or while sitting in a bouncer (which I’ve been told is its own laxative of sorts!) but here’s what’s worked for us without fail (6 attempts, 100% success rate):
- Sit with baby’s back to you so you’re both in an upright seated position. With a 5 week old, I tend to sit back to have a very, very slight recline just to better manage baby’s head/neck stability.
- Then I use both hands to simultaneously massage baby’s feet with my thumbs and forefingers. Note: My baby didn’t love this new physical interaction at first and kept trying to pull her feet away, arch her back, etc. If you can, try to push through to see if they acclimate.
- If your baby is anything like mine, their entire body will relax into their spa treatment so I suggest using your arms as guardrails to hold their upper body in place and to keep them securely seated against you—don’t let them get too slouchy while you’re massaging those baby toes.
- Massage gently but consistently, if allowed, for as long as you can. Worst case, you just give you and your baby a nice moment of bonding time together where they feel comforted and relaxed.
- If things go as planned, you might not get much of a warning before the bowel movement. This has been my experience every single time. However, listen for tummy grumbles and passing gas. Even if a massage doesn’t end with a poop, encouraging movement of gas and food in their bellies is always a good thing.

Last but not least, a quick PSA before attempting this: our baby hadn’t pooped for an entire day the first time I gave this a shot. It worked, but it also led to an absolutely cataclysmic diaper blowout. Like, one for the books that left me utterly paralyzed not knowing where to even begin for cleanup. So, consider yourselves warned.

Otherwise, I sincerely hope this ridiculous hack finds its way into the lives of other parents in desperate need of a win. May the poop odds be ever in your favor! 🫡

Hello,

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My sister in law will be having her first baby. I'm making her a postpartum basket. I've added items that I wish I had when I was at the hospital about to give birth. I want to know what are some things you guys wish you had when you we're in the hospital. I keep feeling Iike I'm forgetting some items.

My partner (31M) and I (32F) just found out we're going to have a baby. We love each other very much and are very much in this together but this came as a massive shock to both of us.
He's fantastic. This movie-esque man you'd want to raise a child with, and has been absolutely nothing but supportive. None of my qualms surround him. Physically, I've been doing pretty well too. I'm just past the 6 week mark (I think; first ultrasound is in 10 days) and no nausea (yet) and just some tenderness and severe fatigue.

But I need advice, or to vent and complain, or something about the overwhelming feeling that I can't do anything that I enjoy. Alcohol was easy to cut, my body doesn't want it, but all the food limitations and the beverage limitations (I can't even have my sleepy tea??) and I'm so TIRED I feel like I can't keep up with social events. I was an extremely social girl. We threw parties, we were invited to many parties, we went out every weekend (we live in a tourist town where it's Party Central mostly always, and we thrive as city people). I've found some solace in books and television. He's bought us some video games and board games to play together. I don't mind being pregnant (so far) but please...for the love of god, how did you guys adapt to being so limited?

I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing - I just want any tips/tricks on how to entertain myself, adapt to a quiet life overnight, and/or feel like you're getting a nice treat when it seems everything good is bad. It's only been just over a week since I've found out, and 9 months is a long road!

I'm pregnant with my first and am curious what you did (and what you would not) buy secondhand? I see lots of items from FB marketplace that seem like great deals. The only things that I've thought NOT to buy from there are car seats and a crib mattress. Am I missing something obvious that you wouldn't suggest buying from someone else?

I thought we had a unicorn baby up till we hit the 4 month sleep regression which honestly started in the middle of his 3 month. Fast forward he’s newly 6 months and we still are battling extremely hard nights he minimum has 3 wake-ups in the night which not always are related to hunger. It’s getting extremely tiring and mentally draining to deal with this constantly. Especially when I do multiple nights solo.

I was doing nights alone since he was 1 month since my spouse does shift work so he isn’t always around at nights. He helps out now but it’s still such a challenge.

Don’t know just here to rant and ask does it actually get better? If so, when? ☹️… I think our baby is used to being rocked to sleep so maybe that’s why he gets up constantly blurting out crying. I have tried seeing if he can self soothe but his crying escalates which results in a harder time for him to be put back to sleep.

Should we sleep train? He’ll happily co sleep if I let him but I don’t want him getting used to that because honestly I like my own space when sleeping & i’m always waking up during cosleeping cos it makes me anxious.

Any tips? Solutions? We were told to start him
on baby cereal and see if that would help him sleep through the night but guess what …. didn’t help 🙃 I think I am losing my mind tbh it’s affecting my mood and energy levels so any tips would help.

I've got a 4 mo old and our plan was to take him to fireworks at a friend's, see how he handled it and head home around 9 if needed. Plans started to look like they were falling trough completely and then updated to we'd have maybe 30 min there before his normal bedtime. So after a spit up all over his outfit, I decided I was done! Staying home just me and him.

Somewhat regretting it, somewhat feel like it was the right decision for both of us, just not loving some of the criticism i've gotten for deciding not to push him (or me. Im beat.)

How are you doing it? Keeping your routines? Pushing through to watch fireworks?

My LO is currently three months old and every time she’s done eating, she starts crying hysterically. I know she’s not still hungry and is full. I put a pacifier in her mouth and then she stops crying. Does anyone know the reason? I don’t think it’s over feeding

So this might be a dumb question but if you’re out in the wild with your baby, alone, and you have to go to the bathroom and they’re sitting in the cart (not in their carrier, old enough to sit up on their own)… what do you do?

I hate the term “velcro baby”. Babies need their moms and comfort. However with that being said, i’m finding it almost impossible to get stuff done with my 4mo old.
I love that she always wants to be with me and around me but because of that i can never get laundry, dinner or anything else done. I’ve tried baby wearing but she’s not a fan, maybe it’s the kind of carrier/wrap but she will scream at the top of her lungs to get her out.
Do i just let her cry while i try to get stuff done or am i bad mom for doing so?

I (20F) am 8 weeks postpartum today(Friday). My husband (20M) finally just started his parental leave Tuesday of this week. He works 1:00pm - 11:30pm. When he is home in the mornings he doesn’t wake up until 9/10, and barely helps me with the baby. I always have to ask, he can’t ever just take care of our son himself. He also never holds him, it’s like it’s such a chore. He always just lays him in the bassinet. Then he leaves for work and when he comes home he doesn’t help me with the baby through the night. Only for maybe an hour or two do I actually get sleep. So I’ve basically been doing this as a single mom, whether you wanna agree with me or not on that part I feel as though I was. Anyway, to make matters much worse.. he will not give up playing Magic The Gathering. It’s a stupid fucking card game like Pokemon or YuGiOh. His dad and their coworkers play every single Saturday. And the thing is it takes them until SUNDOWN. He dedicated a whole entire day to this every week. It was fine when we didn’t have a kid but now we do and he doesn’t seem to care. They even try to make us play at other people’s houses. “Just bring the baby” .. and he will agree with them. It took me hours and lots of yelling to make him stay home a couple weekends ago. Now they’ve just been doing it at our house. I don’t ever get time to myself or with friends. I don’t even have friends to go hang out with anyway. I told him I feel like he chooses magic over me but he still plays. He’s playing right now. Am I wrong to feel this way. He says I should let him have a life. But I think it’s unfair if I can’t have one too.. maybe that’s selfish.

I've been breastfeeding exclusively for 3 months with an occasional pumped milk in bottle when I'm out or want a break. She has no issues with taking my pumped milk from the bottle and will suckle it down happily. But I want my husband to start giving her one formula bottle a day so I get a break and don't want her to be so reliant on breastfeeding so it becomes harder to wean when I get back to work.

We've tried for two days now and she scream and cries and spits it up till I give up and give her my boob. First time we did just formula, she cried but drank about 50ml in between the screaming. Second day I mixed 60ml breastmilk with 30ml formula and she screamed and cried for half an hour and drank maybe 10ml only. (Im so annoyed at the wasted liquid gold!!!!). I know the bottle and teat isn't an issue because she has pumped milk in it! Ive been trying Kendamil because I heard its best accepted by breastfed babies.

Any ideas on how to get her to accept just one bottle a day, which doesnt include wasting pumped milk? ChatGPT said to just keep trying for 5 - 10 mins everyday and if she cries then stop and try again next day. Is gentle exposure the way to get to accept formula?

Also: she did have 2 or 3 formula bottles when she was a newborn with no issues on the days I had supply issues. I used Cow and Gate then. But I think she didn't protest as much because she was just a sleepy newborn and now she's an opinionated 3 month old with very strong lungs!

My 18 month old daughter has had recurrent ear infections for months. Dealing with a sick toddler is exhausting and I feel so bad for her. Her doctor referred her to a paediatrician, who told me she isn't talking very well for her age but told me not to worry as both her ears are blocked and it's more than likely a reason it's caused a speech delay. He also heavily pushed for me to enrol her in childcare. I am a SAHM, and I honestly just don't want her to go to childcare. Ive already organised when she's two, to go to mum and bub groups for social interaction.

Anyway, the paediatrician referred us to an ENT surgeon. I heard great things about this doctor, and was glad I was seeing a well regarded specialist. My mother came with me to the appointment as my husband was working.

This doctor was extremely arrogant, told me the reason she's getting so many infections in her ears is because I don't send her to childcare and "I should know she has a low immune system from not sending her to childcare because I worked as an educator". Proceeded to ask me if I am planning to have anymore children, I said not at the moment, and he responded with "yeah, I wouldn't either. She has a lot of problems."

Then, at the end of the appointment he told me she's slow. This really angered me and I said "she's not slow, she can't talk very well because her ears are blocked." which he agreed with me. WTF. I signed paperwork to get her down for adenoids removed and grommets put in and I really wish I didn't because I don't want anything to do with this doctor. I wish I just went and looked for another surgeon instead.

I cried all the way home. I'm trying my absolute best. I feel like I'm failing her.