r/firsttimemom

FTM. The baby is very much aware of his surroundings, major FOMO so daytime naps are only 30 minutes if I’m lucky. He can’t sit up on his own yet, screams during tummy time because he wants to move but can’t. A baby can only do so much for play at this age. Does not enjoy being put down for any amount of time. I feel like my days are spent constantly trying to keep him entertained and content during wake windows.
As a newborn he was the BEST sleeper. I’d have to wake him for feeds during the night, he would nap great during the day and was okay with being put down for 5 minutes.
Please tell me it gets better. Each day is starting to feel the same.

We have a 6-week-old, and my husband struggles with staying home. He constantly wants to go to random stores or grocery shopping everyday, even when there's no reason to leave. He refuses to huy groceries for multiple days (this has been an argument for the last 5 years, its cheaper to not stop everyday and less exhausting)
We've been discussing prioritizing our baby’s naps because he's been getting overtired, making bedtime exhausting. Yesterday, we stayed home, our baby napped much more, and bedtime was significantly easier.
Today, my husband got him ready to leave just to drive around and run errands. When I asked what the plan was and he said there wasn't one, I asked, "If there's no plan, then why go anywhere?"
He took this as me calling him stupid. I know my tone doesn't always come across how i intend it to, and he's very sensitive, so conversations often end up being about how I said something rather than what I'm actually saying.
I'm frustrated because we literally just saw how staying home benefited our baby, yet it feels like my husband can't adjust his lifestyle to prioritize our newborn. He said “well you said you want him to get out of the house once a day” and i had to say “yea like a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood not a 2 hour drive around to random stores we dont need to go to where he fights sleep just because you need to get out of the house”

How do I get through to him without him feeling attacked?

I’m 17 weeks pregnant with my first and boy has it been a roller coaster. There’s small things that o wouldn’t trade for the world like: the little kicks, struggling to get the stroller together, the infinite naps, ect. But one thing nobody warned me was how insane my dreams would be. I’m talking from zombie apocalypse to seeing loved ones who have passed to catching serial killers. I wake up every morning to a new movie I lived in my sleep. I’ve always had vivid dreams but now it’s every single night. I toss and turn trying to get comfortable while wondering what crazy dream I’ll have next. I’ll post some of the dreams if anyone shows interest but I’m also interested in hearing about all of your pregnancy dreams!!

I cannot sleep at all. My baby is about 5 days old and even in the hospital, I stayed awake just watching my son sleep making sure he’s breathing and not choking on anything. And it’s gotten worse since we’ve been home. If he spits up while I’m sleeping, that is my biggest fear that I won’t be there to help him. So, I just stay awake and just watch him in his bassinet or I just burp him so as long as I can. I dunno the last time I slept more than 90 minutes total for the night. I’m constantly crying at night. This is my husband’s 3rd kid so he’s in a completely state of mind than me and I’m so jealous of that. I feel like I’m constantly on high alert and always trying to make sure the baby is okay.
I’ve been trying to burp him after a bottle for longer and longer and that hasn’t been helping as much because it’s almost like as soon as I lay him down, that’s when he spits up and that’s when my nerves and anxiety are through the roof. I don’t know if I’ll ever sleep again.

My daughter did something today that simultaneously made my heart melt and completely broke it, and I feel a little ridiculous about how hard it hit me.

She's almost 6 months old, and today she woke up from a nap with her dad. She was happy to see me, and when I came over she leaned back like she wanted to be picked up, so I grabbed her, changed her diaper, and picked her back up. A few minutes later, her dad came around the corner and came over to give us a hug.

And she REALLY reached for him.

I'm talking whole body turned toward him, both arms stretched out, leaning as far as she possibly could like, "I WANT YOU."

She's never done that before. Not to him. Not to me. This was the first time she has ever so obviously reached for a specific person.

And I cried.

The stupid thing is that it also made me happy. I genuinely love that she loves her daddy. I WANT her to adore him, and seeing them have a good relationship is something I hope I get to watch for the rest of my life.

But damn, I wanted that first.

I think there's a lot wrapped up in why it hurt so much. I've struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety since having her, and especially in the beginning, I was terrified that I wouldn't bond with my baby the way I was "supposed" to. I worried that something would be missing, that maybe I wouldn't feel like her mom, or that she wouldn't feel that connection to me.

Instead, I fell completely, ridiculously in love with this little girl. Our bond became one of the most important things in the world to me.

I've also spent a lot of my life feeling like the person who doesn't get picked. The person people can take or leave. The person who loves people harder than they love me back. I don't think I realized until today that somewhere along the way, becoming a mom touched that part of me too. There was this tiny part of me that thought, "Finally. I'm going to have this incredible bond with someone, and I'm going to be somebody's person simply because I'm Momma."

So when she threw those little arms toward her dad, my rational brain was saying, "Oh my God, look how much she loves her daddy 🥹," while some much older, more wounded part of me was saying, "Of course I wasn't the first one she did it to; I'm replaceable here too."

Our current situation probably makes that fear louder, too. Her dad has been home for the last couple of weeks while I'm working. During the week, I get a couple of hours with her in the evening before bedtime, and then I soak up as much time with her as I can on the weekends. His work slows down during the winter, so this is pretty much what the next several months will look like too: Daddy will be home with her a lot more while Mom goes to work.

I'm genuinely grateful that she gets all of that time with her dad. I know how fortunate she is to have a dad who gets the opportunity to be so present with her. But there's also this scared little part of me that wonders, "What if all those extra hours mean he becomes her person? What if I'm the parent she loves, but he's the one she wants?"

Her dad noticed me quietly crying afterward and asked what was wrong. When I tried to explain it, he laughed because from the outside it sounds like such a tiny thing to cry over. And logically, I know that. She's a baby. She wasn't ranking her parents. She wasn't choosing Daddy over Mommy. She saw someone she loves and discovered that she could throw her entire tiny body toward him to communicate that she wanted him.

But I think that's when I realized I wasn't really crying because my daughter reached for her dad.

I was crying because I wanted so badly to know what it felt like to be someone's first choice.

And that's a really lonely thing to admit.

I don't actually need to be my daughter's favorite person every second of every day. She's going to love so many people throughout her life, and I WANT that for her. I want her to have an incredible relationship with her dad, grandparents, family, friends, and someday people I haven't even met yet.

I think what I'm really longing for is to feel irreplaceable to someone.

There's probably some working-mom guilt mixed into all of this too. I spend all day missing her, thinking about her, wondering what she's doing, and counting down until I get those couple of hours with her at night, while knowing that an entire little life is happening during all the hours I'm gone. After already spending the first months of motherhood battling my own brain and worrying about whether we'd bond, I think I'm terrified of finally finding this enormous love and somehow losing my place in it.

I know that's not how love works. I know a baby doesn't calculate attachment by tallying up hours or decide she only gets one "person." I know her loving and reaching for Daddy doesn't subtract anything from her relationship with me.

Apparently knowing something logically and getting your heart to believe it are two very different things.

I'm sure someday she'll come crawling or running toward me with her arms stretched out yelling "MOMMY," and I'll probably absolutely lose it when she does.

But tonight I'm sitting with one of the stranger things motherhood has taught me: becoming a parent doesn't just introduce you to this brand-new little person and all of their firsts.

Sometimes it introduces you to parts of yourself you didn't realize were still hurting.

Anyone else have a completely innocent baby moment absolutely wreck you like this?

My baby (3m) suffers from reflux and possibly a cow milk allergy. We have changed 4 different formulas. He also takes 10ml Nexium per day. Nothing is working. We have visited 3 different doctors, and they all seem to tell us to wait it out. But how can we? LO eats 70ml and starts to scream in pain all day. I cant take it anymore, i am constantly crying with him. I dont want him to sleep in his crib as i am afraid he will vomit. I need help. Its been 3 months my baby has had 4 maybe 5 good days. He just looks me in the eyes and cries and I cant help him.

Can someone help me please?

I cant take it anymore.

my 9 month old baby girl has developed a STRONG preference to breast feeding over bottles. i exclusively nursed for the first 6 months and began incorporating formula due to putting her in daycare, which she took to very well. last week she developed HFMD (yay lol) and is doing better now but during her sick period she absolutely refused to take a bottle. i thought it was maybe due to the pain of sucking and that she’d be fine once she felt better, but nope! now anytime i offer a bottle she pushes it out of the way and tries to pull my shirt up. she won’t let my husband give her one either. BUT she takes them at daycare no problem. nursing is her comfort for EVERYTHING. food, nursing to sleep for every sleep, etc. i’m a ftm so i thought boobs were the problem solver for everything, but i now realize i may have shot myself in the foot doing so. sometimes she just likes to lay there with my boob in her mouth just because! my nipples have become extremely sensitive and cracked and are bleeding, so i know something’s gotta change. i’m in so much pain and can’t keep doing this. i need advice!! i already feel so defeated because my goal was to make it to her first birthday before i even thought about weaning

Hi! I can imagine this has been asked a million times, but I just found out I was pregnant yesterday I think I’m about 4 weeks along. I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN at the end of October and ordered some prenatal but other than that I have no clue what to even do or where to start.

If you couldn’t tell but my lack of knowing this really wasn’t planned. I have an amazing partner just a surprise to both of us! I haven’t told anyone close to me just out of pure fear of something going wrong!! Any advice on what to do now would mean a lot 🥺

When your period returned postpartum, how regular was your cycle? Did your second period occur within 3-5 weeks of your first or was there a longer stretch in between the two?

Hello dear people, I’m pregnant and currently going through a tough time mentally and emotionally. Everything feels overwhelming and exhausting. Even opening my baby growth app feels like a struggle to me and I’m seeing a mental health expert soon.

One thing that’s really stressing me out is creating my baby registry. I’m so overstimulated with all the information and opinions. It would be of great help if anyone can help create a list of items that I should add to my list especially clothing, diapers. I have no idea what sizes I should get :(

I’ve got the basics already such as,
Breast pump
Bottle washer/steriliser
Bottle warmer
Electric nail filer
Crib
Playmats for tummy times
Bathroom tub for newborn
Baby changing pad
Infrared thermometer
Nursing pillow

It would be really helpful if you could list down items I should add and that would mean alot to me ❤️. Thank you everyone in advance for your help.