[Complete] [800] [Hardboiled Noir] The City Hall Fix
Step inside and pull up a chair. I’m trying out a new angle on this racket, and I need a few sharp peepers to vet the merchandise before I send it wide to the main wire (My email list).
I’ve started writing exclusive "deleted scenes." These are standalone, individual chapters that take place in between the main chapters of my books. My plan is to release these directly to my newsletter subscribers as free bonus stories to dive deeper into the hardboiled detective/noir/pulp world I've created. Eventually, I want to use them as concepts for cinematic trailers.
Because these are bonus scenes, I'm not sending them to my editor. I still want the quality to be top tier. That's why I’m looking for a few readers to give this first one a quick read-through.
Welcome to Queen City... If you’re new to my writing, Queen City is a dark, gritty 1930s world born out of my love for classic film noirs, hardboiled pulp magazines, and old-time radio serials. It’s a place run by corrupt politicians, crooked cops, and lethal fixers. It's a town where the rain always falls and survival comes at a steep price.
The Story: This specific 800-word scene takes place during the timeline of my novel, The Stolen Life Caper. It’s a tight, tense look behind closed doors at City Hall as a massive scandal is being swept under the rug.
The real draw here is the Femme Fatale of the story. My readers have a dark fascination with Miss Friday. She's a high-functioning predator in a tailored bodice who sees every person as an asset to be owned or a liability to be liquidated.
In this scene, the Ice Queen herself is completely taking over a politician's office. She's putting the final, chilling details on a cover-up and setting her sights on her next target. That target is a desperate, broke ex-prizefighter turned private eye named Mickey Hook. It’s the exact moment she sets the clock ticking on him. He has exactly twenty-four hours to give her what she wants, or earn a toe tag of his own.
I'm looking for a critique regarding the atmospheric consistency and the narrative pacing of this scene. If you have a few minutes to read this quick scene, please comment below or send me a DM. I will send you the link to the draft right away.
Looking forward to hearing from you.