Hello all,

I have a polished Part One of a long contemporary slow burn romance novel. It’s approximately 56k+ words. I’m looking for a small number of romance readers who’d like to read it purely as readers and share their honest reactions—not line edits, proofreading, or developmental critique.

The book is called Somewhere Around a Star, and the full novel is still in progress. Note: Part One: Collision is not currently being published as a standalone book, but it is fully formatted for a proper reading experience!

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Blurb:

Leah is an ordinary girl living an ordinary life in a little hamlet in a rural part of England. Tyler is an actor. Well, one of the world’s biggest movie stars. 

They couldn’t be any more different. The polar ends of a galaxy.

Until one day Leah gets on a plane to Los Angeles for an adventure and the answer to a question she’s been asking herself since she was six. And their paths collide. As it turns out, their lives are intertwined in an absurd (of course) way of the universe—aka fate. Tyler knows this. Leah doesn’t. And he may or may not have intentionally kept it that way.

Oh, one more thing. She has no idea who he is.

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I’d also love to know what you think about Part One potentially being published as a standalone after reading the book. (It comes in three parts: Collision, Supernova, and Stardust.)

Leave a comment or DM me if you are interested in being one of my first readers. I'll send you the links to the PDF and EPUB files. Thanksss.

Hi everyone!

I’ve recently finished the latest draft of my adult fantasy novel, A Curse of Joy and Ruin (about 55,000 words), and I’m looking for a few beta readers willing to give honest feedback on the premise as well as the manuscript itself if anyone is interested.

Premise:
Vesper Ashdown is dying from the Wasting Smile, a magical curse that forces its victims to wear a joyful grin as it slowly kills them. Desperate for a cure, she enters the ancient Heptagram Trials, a deadly tournament where the winner earns a single wish from the sleeping god beneath the Spire. There, she discovers the immortal Sentinel overseeing the trials may be just as trapped as she is, and that the truth behind the trials could doom them all.

I’m mainly looking for feedback on:
Whether the story kept you engaged.
Pacing (especially the ending).
Characters and dialogue.
Any confusing or slow sections.
Overall enjoyment.

I’m happy to answer any questions!

Thanks for reading!

New aspiring author, created a whole universe to allow myself to write a sci-fi/fantasy/cultivation novels. After 2 years world building I am currently releasing the “barebones” story draft for the first book. Looking for support and constructive criticism on story basis alone. I am fully aware this needs a lot more polish at its current stage. This story progresses from Sci-Fi and virtual game novels - cultivation novels - finally ending in a Isekia.

Help needed

Greetings, glutton readers. I'm looking for readers who like to indulge in an intellectual journey. Hit me in DM.

Hi, I'm looking for readers to read this within the next month or two. This story is a 26,000 word psychological thriller novella with dystopian elements. It will appeal to fans of the books: Comfort me with Apples (2021) by Catherynne M. Valente, and the seemingly “picture perfect” suburban environment of films such as Don’t Worry Darling (2022).  

Blurb:

Claire Johnson wakes up in a bed that isn’t hers, in a house she cannot remember. A friendly neighbor named Gabriela reassures her, telling Claire that she had a nervous breakdown, and her memories will come back soon. As Claire begins to explore the neighborhood and ask questions, she feels increasingly unsettled by what she finds. 

Claire discovers that the plants are made of plastic, there isn’t any processed food or grocery stores, and not all of the neighbors are friendly. What secrets are they hiding, and why won’t they tell her how she got there? 

I'm mainly looking for high-level feedback, such as:

• Pacing
• Was the twist surprising + enjoyable? 
• What did you think of the ending?
• Were the characters believable?
• Were there any parts that lagged or were boring/was there enough action?

I have a short google form survey for beta readers to fill out after they’re finished reading, to help get the most out of feedback. 

Critique Swap: Unavailable now as I have 2 other novels I must read for others. But I’d be available to do it in about 3 months. I’d love to swap information and be a beta reader for you in the future. Ideally I’d love to make some lasting relationships between beta readers here, and have reliable beta readers for the future, and reciprocate and help you too. I belong to 2 writing groups and frequently give feedback so I’m happy to do so. 

I am not looking for line by line proofreading, but mainly high level feedback. 
If this sounds like something you’d like, DM me.

Hi everyone!

After more than a year of writing, I've finally finished the first draft of my novel, and before I begin querying literary agents, I'm looking for a few beta readers.

Sunshine in the War is a 84k-word YA dystopian novel and the first book in my planned trilogy, The Afterlight Trilogy.

Blurb:

When seven teenagers are kidnapped from school and taken to a hidden underground military base, they're forced to become soldiers in a war they never knew existed. As they endure brutal training, impossible missions and heartbreaking losses, they slowly become the family they never had - but surviving the war may cost them everything.

I'm mainly looking for high-level feedback, such as:

• pacing
• emotional impact
• character development and likability
• whether the story kept you engaged
• whether the ending made you want to read Book 2

English is my second language, and I'm hoping to traditionally publish in the UK, so I'd also really appreciate feedback from native British English speakers on whether the dialogue and narration sound natural. I'm not looking for line-by-line proofreading - just places where something sounds noticeably unnatural.

If this sounds like something you'd enjoy reading, I'd love to hear from you.

First 300 words:

“Lujza, can I ask something?” I asked as I was looking at the floor boards. They were dirty. Maybe I should clean it?

“Sure thing, tell me.” said Lujza as her eyes were glued to the phone screen.

“Do you…?” I needed to swallow before really asking the question. I carefully peeked up at her just to see her reaction. “Do you all hate me?”

Nothing, but silence. Fucking silence. I just know the answer… can she just say it out loud and clear?

“Why would you think that, boo? Of course not.” she said gently but didn’t even look at me.

“Lujza, you can tell me.” I said gently, now fully looking at her. “If you really hate me, please just tell me… tell me, what I did wrong so I can fix it. I’ll really change, I can assure you that at least I can try it.”

“Boo, we don’t hate you.” smiled Lujza gently and first in what felt like fucking years looked at me. She wanted to reassure me, but as I looked into her eyes I saw it. They don’t hate me, they loathe me. Did I do something so wrong that I don’t even deserve the chance to fix it?

“Thanks for being honest with me, you are the best.” I stood up, I just needed to leave before I start crying. I knew that not everyone would like me, but I just thought that we were getting along with my roommates. Well, I guess not. As I was walking down the hall, I met with the others – Vivi, Regina, and Leila – they were chatting and giggling, as we passed by I just smiled at them and went on my way, but they didn’t even seem to notice me.

Thank you so much! ❤️

Hi everyone! I’m looking for beta readers for my completed young adult fantasy novel, The Road That Remembered, about 72k words.

Blurb: Rook only wants to pass through Dunmere unnoticed, but when a talking raven, a baker’s daughter, and a stolen name pull him into a hidden road beneath the city, he discovers someone is rewriting people out of their own lives. To stop it, Rook has to decide whether staying forgotten is safer than being known.

Feedback: I’m mainly looking for big-picture reader reactions: where the story drags, where it gets confusing, which characters work best, and whether the ending feels satisfying.

Feel free to comment or DM if interested. Thanks!

Looking for 4–5 beta readers for the opening of an erotic literary novel: a 49-year-old husband in a loving but sexless 20-year marriage, and the first night of the affair that will eventually upend it. Fully explicit, but the focus is psychological, guilt and desire at the same time, not sex-then-remorse. Especially looking for: readers 35+ who enjoy male-POV erotica or marriage-in-trouble fiction. If this describes a life stage you know, you're my ideal reader.

Feedback I need (takes ~10 min after reading): Did you finish in one sitting, and if not, where exactly did you stop? After chapter 1, did you trust the book would deliver? Did the guilt passages pull you in or push you out? Would you read chapter 3?

Happy to swap, I'll beta your WIP of similar length in any genre. Google Doc, comment access.

Not looking to critique-swap, sorry!

The Moon That Never Set follows multiple characters as they form bonds, learn about one other, and uncover the mysteries of their world. At its heart, this story is about people and connection.

Content Warning
Grief. Mentions of missing/dead parents.

Feedback
I’m looking to see if people find the pacing engaging, or if some scenes feel too long or too short.
Are there points that left you confused?
Which characters did you connect with, if any?
Do they seem to behave distinctly, consistently, and believably?

Timeline
No deadline in mind. Read if and when you can! I don’t mind.

Excerpt From The Prologue
How long had it been, five days? A week? The moon didn't seem to leave the sky even during the day, if you could call it that. The deeper they went into the Nightsands, the less dawn seemed to arrive at all. It lived up to its name at least. Silvery sand stretched to the horizon, reflecting the sky above almost as clear as water. What little plant life was seen on their path appeared made of solid crystal, yet remained soft and springy to touch. Everyone else had seen this before. The team's new archaeologist, Darian, seemed to find this all revolutionary. He kept insisting "just a bit further" and "we're nearly there". But what he seemed to think they'd find was anybody's guess. It had been hours since the last team's marker. Uncharted territory, supposedly, yet it all looked the same as before. Same always-evening sky, same outcroppings of glass-like foliage, and now same Darian obsessed with finding something 'big'.

Mathis was team lead, and he was growing weary of Darian's naïve enthusiasm.
"Our supplies are running low, much further and we won't last the trek home," he stated matter-of-factly. "Tomorrow we'll start heading home."
While Mira and Rowan agreed, Darian was reluctant to turn back. It was his first time out here, and he was fascinated by every fragment of a ruin they encountered.
"Just look at this architecture!" he would exclaim at what looked like any other crumbling wall to everyone else. As team navigator, Mira was just glad to have the occasional landmark. Only Rowan seemed to match Darian's energy, but even he was beginning to tire after a week of nothing new, or maybe that was just the increasingly persistent night.

——

As the group was packing up their things under the faint morning moonlight, Darian was more distracted than ever.
"Couldn't sleep?" Mira asked.
"No, I've always been more of a night owl," Darian yawned, looking out across the sand.
"You're tellin' me," Rowan laughed, "you're so pale I'm surprised you even saw the sun before we came out here."
Mira smiled with tired amusement, "not that we get much sun in this place. The night does suit him though, doesn't it? Don't think I've ever seen him without bedhead."
Darian however, hardly seemed to notice their jesting remarks, his dark eyes transfixed on the horizon as though listening to something only he could hear. He almost fell over with shock when Mathis's large hand ruffled his hair,
"C'mon, kid, get your head out the clouds. It's time to go home."

So yeah, thanks in advance for anyone interested in seeing where things are at! :)

So I've been grinding on this opening chapter for a while and I think I'm too close to it. It's a psychological action thriller. Hyper-realistic violence, close third POV. Protagonist is Kirin, 35, bred by a shadow syndicate to kill, now secretly raising her 10-year-old kid in a shitty apartment while still taking jobs. She's not a femme fatale. She's tired, her shoulder's fucked, and she loves her son more than anything but has zero clue how to be soft about it. Chapter follows her through one night: walks the East, handles some trouble, drops the kid with his aunt, flies to Budapest for a hit, everything goes sideways. Trying to walk the line where the action is brutal and grounded but the actual engine is her trying to get back to her kid.

Stuff I'm worried about: does the voice hook early, does Kirin read like an actual human woman and not r/menwritingwomen material, does the Budapest sequence earn its length, and does the ending land. The opening hook is below. Full chapter linked if anyone's got time.

--------

Kirin kept her hood down. Raised hoods meant afraid, and afraid people got followed.

She could have walked this block blind, going solely off the smell of oil-drum smoke off the alley and scorch baked gutters. The dead bodega on the corner still had a working television, caged in chicken wire, welded too high to jack. Someone had shot the speaker out of it years ago, so it gave picture and nothing else.

Kirin clocked the subtitles: Fugitive manhunt continues… Ohio asteroid event…

Neither word was hers. Not her city, not her problem.

The homeless man under the screen set upon his milk crate as if it were a throne. He was tall, even while seated. The left side of his face was one fused sheet of burn scar, dragging his lip into a half-smile. The machete against his thigh rode loose in his grip. Loose meant he had no plans for it. Not for now at least. Either way his eyes stayed on the screen. Staring at it, not watching it. She clocked him and kept walking.

I am working on a steampunk fantasy story based in Norwegian and Icelandic folklore. It's spice-free and minimally violent. The setting is somewhat late 18th-early 19th century, inspired by the works of Henrik Ibsen. It also has a bit of a steampunk vibe.

It centers on a kingdom of trolls who live underground, ruled by a kindly old king named Dovre. A human emissary named Awilda comes to form a trade route between her nation and the trolls. At first she's impressed by the trolls' seemingly utopian society, but then she discovers they're under a curse which makes them turn to stone in sunlight.

Dovre's son betrays him, but Awilda sticks by his side, and they're joined by two other faithful friends who set out on a quest to break the Mountain Trolls' curse.

The story has adventure, wholesome romance, humor, and an interesting array of characters from Scanidavian folklore.

Would anyone be interested in Beta reading?

Genre: Gothic Supernatural Thriller (folk-horror elements; shifts toward conspiracy-thriller in the back third)

Word count: ~77,500

POV/Tense: Third person limited, past tense

Status: Complete — Book 1 of a planned series, reads as a full standalone

Comps: The Loney by Andrew Michael Hurley x Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, with a forensic-procedural edge

Feedback wanted: Pacing, whether the reveals land in the right order; chapter-to-chapter tension; and overall engagement from start to finish. Open to line-level notes too, not just the big picture.

Content warnings: Murder (including ritual killing), drowning, gun violence, blood/autopsy detail (protagonist is a forensic pathologist), brief peril to a child character, grief and parental loss, arson, one character's death by drowning played for grief rather than horror

Synopsis:

Disgraced forensic pathologist Dr. Elara Vance is exiled to a remote island chain to catalog routine deaths—until her first case turns out to be a murder staged to look like an accident. Digging deeper, she uncovers a two-century-old bargain the island's founding families have kept with the sea: one life given up every seven years to buy the rest safety from the storms. The investigation pulls her into her own family's buried history—her mother disappeared chasing this same secret thirty years earlier—and into a conspiracy reaching far past one island's coastline.

Somewhere off Deadman's Shoal, a hand broke the surface. It rose pale and open-fingered, as if reaching for something just out of reach, then the swell folded over it and pulled it back under. No one saw. The gulls didn't even change their circling. The sea kept what it took and gave nothing back before it was ready. Nineteen miles east, the ferry coughed black smoke as it cut through the mist. Dr. Elara Vance stood at the bow, one hand gripping the cold railing, the other shielding her eyes from the brine-salted wind. Ahead, the Crag Islands loomed out of the fog like something half-dreamed—dark cliffs rising from restless water, the silhouettes of crooked houses scattered along their edges like teeth in a jaw that had taken too many blows. Gulls circled low, crying over the surf, their voices echoing across a bay that smelled of kelp and rusted chains and something under that, something she couldn't name yet. Three months ago she had stood in a courtroom that smelled of carpet cleaner and nothing else and listened to five men in gray suits decide whether her career was worth keeping. A pattern of insubordination, the review board chair had said, reading from a page he barely glanced at. She called it telling the truth. Now, exiled to a chain of islands most maps didn't bother to label, she was the reminder of mainland failure sent to catalog drownings, heart attacks, and fishing accidents far from anyone who might ask an inconvenient question.

Timeline: 3–4 weeks preferred, flexible if that doesn't line up with your schedule

Critique swap availability: Happy to swap—I can read and give feedback on chapters or a full manuscript in a similar genre (gothic, horror, thriller, or literary suspense), roughly matching the length/pace you're offering me.

Delivery: Comment below, and I'll DM you the manuscript—not posting the doc link publicly, per sub guidance.

Hi everyone!

I’ve recently written a dark fantasy novel and I’m looking for a few BETA readers who might be interested in a free e-copy.

All I ask is an honest review when you’re finished, no deadlines, take your time.

If you’re interested, feel free to message me. Thanks!

Genre:- Dark Fantasy, Psychological

Word Count:- 56635

Description:- King Elrod discovers the Tome of the Fallen sealed deep within the forgotten tombs of Mount Evelone. Beneath its golden cover rests a dark, godlike orb said to grant the deepest desire of any who dare claim it—but every gift demands a terrible price.

Haunted by visions of chained kings and shadowed keepers, Elrod begins to unravel as the tome binds itself to his mind. Yet his purpose never falters: to resurrect his dead wife and unborn child.

And the tome answers.

But resurrection is never merciful. The deeper Elrod descends into the orb's power, the more horrific the truth becomes—what he seeks to restore may cost the soul of the only family he has left: his son.

Hi everyone! I'm an indie children's author. Before I finalize Book 2 of my cozy mystery series, Whiskers & Clues: Nina, the Cat Detective, I am looking for beta readers. If interested please DM me. The book is available in PDF and EPUB formats.

Hi everyone! I'm looking for honest critique of a completed 16,107-word sample from my upcoming nonfiction book. I'd especially value feedback from readers of many different backgrounds, including (but not limited to) atheists, agnostics, counselors, psychologists, writers, editors, Christians, and general readers. I'm a former atheist and now a Christian counselor writing a book that explores the connections between psychology, everyday life, and faith through real composite counseling case studies drawn from my private practice. If you're interested in helping as a beta reader, please send Sarah and me a DM. Thank you!

Story Blurb

Two years after a magical catastrophe reduced the South Tower to ruins, kobold scavenger Garf uncovers something impossible beneath the wasteland known as the Hallow: a dormant Battleforge.

When the construct awakens with no memory of who he is or why he exists, Garf gives him the only thing he can, a name.

Rusty.

While others would see a forgotten weapon, Garf sees someone frightened, confused, and alone. Their unlikely friendship soon draws the attention of powerful forces searching for answers buried beneath the Hallow, setting them on a journey that will change the fate of kingdoms.

This excerpt contains the Prologue and Chapter One of a completed epic fantasy novel.

Feedback Requested

I'm primarily looking for reader reactions rather than line edits or proofreading.

In particular:

• Did the opening hook you?
• Were you confused at any point?
• Which character interested you the most?
• Was there anything that slowed your reading?
• If Chapter Two were immediately available, would you continue reading?

Excerpt Length: 6,534 words (approximately 25–30 minutes)

Timeline: No deadline.

Critique Swap: Not currently seeking critique swaps.

Excerpt: PROLOGUE

 

The South Tower lay in pre-dawn darkness.

Shadows clung to the tower, broken only by the faint glow of glyph-etched conduits and the steady rhythm of idle regulators. Deep below, the hum of machinery rose through the stone. Blue and violet crystals flickered at irregular intervals, casting brief flashes of light through the darkness.

Battleforged technicians moved with quiet precision, no voice raised above the hum. Purpose and intent guided every movement.

A single low chime pulsed through the offset lab, P3’s signal from the antechamber.

Senneth froze mid-calibration.

“Arrival.”

He straightened his coat, wiped the smudge from his glasses, and crossed the narrow corridor that linked his private workspace to the antechamber.

The door slid aside.

Heat rolled in, warmer than the night outside. Torches guttered along the stone walls, their orange light wrestling with the cool blue glow of the suspended Aetherwyrm shard at the room’s center. Its steady blue light washed across the chamber, tinting everything in cool shades.

Baerun stood waiting with four of his acolytes. Their hoods and veils obscured their faces.

Senneth approached with controlled calm.

“Master Baerun. The South Tower acknowledges your arrival.”

Baerun inclined his head. “Ambition breathes here.”

“Progress requires air, and privacy.”

A faint, unreadable smile touched Baerun’s lips. “Privacy is a fragile thing, Master Senneth. Especially at this scale.”

Senneth didn’t flinch. “Then let us not waste it.”

At a gesture from Baerun, two of his acolytes guided a transport chest forward. It hovered just above the floor as they brought it to a stop before Senneth. One of them released the latches and opened the lid. Pale light spilled into the chamber, revealing the compressed Atlas core within.

Senneth’s composure cracked for the briefest moment.

“So,” he murmured. “The core survived transit.”

Baerun studied him with a scholar’s patience and a predator’s certainty.

“You asked for a configuration the Moorajal have never sanctioned. Yet here it stands. Keep your promise, and perhaps your designs will justify the risk.”

Senneth allowed himself a faint smile.

“They will.”

Baerun's gaze lingered on him for a moment.

“Then let us finish what others feared even to attempt.”

Senneth turned toward the doorway.

“P3.”

The Battleforge straightened.

“Master.”

“Proceed to the main laboratory. Begin preparations.”

P3's gaze shifted briefly toward Baerun and the four acolytes.

“Master?”

Senneth's smile widened slightly.

“I'll be fine. Go.”

P3 bowed once and departed without another word.

Only then did Senneth return his attention to the Atlas. He stepped closer, fingertips hovering just above the compressed frame as he studied the workmanship.

"Remarkable. I didn't think this degree of compression was possible."

Baerun inclined his head.

"Planar magic is capable of certain accommodations. Besides, it was required not only for travel, but for installation."

Senneth nodded slowly, eyes tracing the intricate modifications worked into the housing.

“As specified,” Baerun added.

“Better than specified,” Senneth murmured.

His gaze lingered on the Atlas another moment before he finally turned toward the corridor beyond.

“Come. The laboratory is this way.”

Baerun gestured to his acolytes, and together they followed Senneth deeper into the tower.

The corridor opened into the heart of the South Tower.

Cold air rose from the machinery itself, deep, metallic. The laboratory spread outward in a wide, circular descent, tiered platforms falling toward a central installation. Harmonic pillars lined the perimeter, their low vibrations shivering across the floor in steady pulses.

And above the center hung the Velumin crystal, suspended within a stabilizer ring.

Baerun slowed.

The crystal pulsed with a resonance he had not felt in an age, split, amplified, driven beyond any Moorajal sanction. Power bled from it in thin shimmering threads that fed into channels etched across the stone like veins of light.

That was the first wrong thing.

The second awaited on the dais: the Atlas frame, fixed into a mounting array whose dimensions were unmistakably altered.

Baerun’s eyes narrowed, the quiet calculation of a scholar confronted with a blasphemy wrapped in brilliance.

As he took in the impossible geometry of the modified frame, Senneth stepped closer to the railing above the dais. He leaned forward, bracing one hand against the metal to inspect a convergence line etched into the stone, his coat shifting just slightly with the movement.

The motion shifted his coat just enough.

Light from the overcharged Velumin crystal struck a pendant resting against Senneth’s sternum, red and blue stones arranged around a swirling white core set in gold that caught the resonance like flame catching breath.

Baerun froze.

It cannot be, he thought.

A planar creation, unmistakable in design.

A artifact that should not have existed in Ardrunheim.

Tarik’s Sphere, worn openly by a mortal.

And with it, Senneth was untouchable; no spell Baerun commanded would so much as graze him.

A quiet pressure tightened behind his ribs.

“How,” Baerun wondered, “did he procure such a thing… and why was it allowed to answer him?”

Senneth, unaware of the revelation he had shown, traced a fingertip along the etched conduit line, muttering calculations under his breath.

Baerun’s expression did not shift. His attendants remained motionless.

But the balance of the moment had tilted, irrevocably.

Senneth stepped down onto the dais, hands moving with confident precision as he inspected the altered frame.

“You changed more than the shape,” Baerun observed quietly.

Senneth’s expression brightened with unguarded pride.

“Of course. The original Atlas was elegant, but inefficient. All its power forced through a single channel.”

He tapped the modified housing. “I redistributed the flow.”

Baerun tilted his head. “To what extent?”

Senneth ran a hand along the etched lines of the conduit, the gesture practiced and certain.

Interested?

The Hallow is a completed 156,000-word epic fantasy with series potential.

If the opening captures your interest, I'd be happy to send a formatted PDF containing the complete Prologue and Chapter One (6,534 words). If you'd like to continue beyond that, I'm also looking for readers interested in beta reading the full manuscript.

I'm seeking your thoughts on the opening chapters of a book I'm currently writing. Rather than beginning with a traditional preface, prologue, or introduction written by the author, the book begins with a chapter-and-verse narrative told through the voice of the narrator. These opening chapters establish the foundation for the rest of the book. I'm primarily interested in whether the story, progression, and overall structure communicate clearly on their own.

PAMANA

CHAPTER 1

The Stories of Our People

1. Long before history was written by the hands of scribes, stories were told by the voices of our ancestors.
2. Through them, the memories of our people were preserved and carried across time.
3. Some were told through rituals, some by songs, some by oral traditions passed down through the ages.
4. Within these stories, we remember where we came from, what we endured and the paths of those who came before us.
5. Through time, distance, and circumstance, the stories once told by our ancestors were reshaped and forever changed.
6. What was once spoken became written, what was written was retold by the hands of others.
7. And so, the stories were passed down through generations, but no longer did they carry the meaning of our people.

The Hands That Changed Them

1. Some buried the truth, and altered our stories to fit their own beliefs.
2. Some carried them away from the lands that bore them.|
3. Some uncovered them, only to be displayed, yet never to be told.
4. Some transcribed them into words that no longer held their true meaning.
5. And others shared the images of our stories, made to be worn, not to be preserved.
6. Thus our stories were reshaped by belief, carried across distant lands, rebound in foreign words, and worn as images, until we were no longer able to recognize them as our own.
7. Though these stories were changed by many hands, their true meaning remained buried within them.
8. For truth can never be removed, only covered.

CHAPTER 2

Scattered Across Time

1. For generations upon generations, our stories were rewritten by the powers who sought to claim our islands.
2. Through conquest and hardship, the old ways of our people were forced into silence.
3. Poverty and toil drove many from their homes.
4. Some searched for labor, others for hope.
5. And many crossed the seas to settle in distant lands.

The Fading of Memories

1. They built new lives among unfamiliar traditions.
2. They learned new languages and adopted new ways of living.
3. Then the tongues of our people were spoken less with the passing of generations.
4. As they continued to embrace their new ways, the memories of our people began to fade.
5. And so they no longer passed down our stories to their children.
6. Thus the children became strangers to their own origins.

Thank you for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts. What story do you think these opening chapters are telling, and did they make you want to continue reading?

Eighteen year old Duffy wakes on a mysterious floating island with no memory of how she got there. Alongside a camp of sixteen other girls, she must navigate their survival, shifting alliances, and a towering structure at the island's centre that may hold the answers to their imprisonment. As survival slowly gives way to questions of identity, freedom, and belonging, Duffy finds herself drawn toward the one person determined to uncover the truth, no matter the cost. No Man's Land asks what happens when the person you've become is no longer recognisable, and the version of yourself that you've lost can never be recovered.

Genre: YA Speculative Fiction, Survival Mystery

Comparable Titles: The Maze Runner, Lost, The Dark Tower, Yellowjackets.

Feedback: pacing, character development, emotional impact, dialogue, and overall engagement. I'm interested to see whether the transition from survival mystery to character-driven literary fiction feels natural and satisfying.

DM if interested.

This story follows the tale of Rick Turner, a high-country rancher and Eliza Harding and her daughter Grace. Due to her husbands poor decisions Eliza and Grace must spend the winter in Turners isolated cabin.

Rick is tired and just wants to sleep by the fire but instead is pulled into a brutal season, forced to deal with a jealous husband, deadly weather, dangerous animals and the weight of societal expectations.

Triggers: references implied domestic and sexual violence. Typically western style gun violence.

Feedback

Pacing and style. Does the dual pov work?

Characters: are they compelling and believable?

Historical references: is there anything I got wrong?

Is it entertaining? It's not pretending to be anything other than a fun read.

Swaps : yes under 100k

Short story 

Protagonist: Mary the succubus  Antagonist Kevin the incubus.

This is a Story about Mary and Kevin and and decent into Chaotic affairs of love and lust. But first let me tell you another tell:

1000 years ago the Succubus ancestor of Mary fell in love with a human He was a Pharoah. She practiced her craft on him nightly to insure he never fell in love with a human. One night her desire for him caused her to weaken and to save herself she used the last of her power to manifest into his bedroom where she had no choice but to have sex with him while he slept, where she became impregnated with his daughter a half breed. The following months as the fetus grew her powers dwindled into nothing. At the same time on the other side of the world an incubus the ancestor of Kevin was preforming the same feat with the Queen of England. His powers were also fading so he impregnated the Queen and upon doing so died the same night. After 9 months both infants were born at the birth of the succubus daughter the succubus died and transmuted her soul into the new infant and as the Incubus son was born the soul was already in the infants. After 3 years the Queen of England attacked Egypt and conquered the land the Pharoah died and his daughter was taken in by the queen and raised to be a servant under the incubus boy. Over the years both the son and daughter grew to hate eachother because the son never lusted after the daughter and brought winches into his room every night and she had to clean the mess. After the Daughter reached adulthood she fell in love with several men unable to control her lust the Queen sent her to the catholic church to become a nun. One night a Cardinal snuck into her room after seeing how hard of a time she was having controlling herself he offered to lay with her and she agreed and became impregnated. That same night the Son was with a princess and impregnated her because he was going off the battle the natives of America with the colonies where he lost his life. Afterwards 9 months both babies were born the mothers died giving birth to a daughter, and the princess died after birthing a son. Her kingdom was poor so he grew up in poverty while the daughter grew up under the Cardinals care one day the orphan son found his way into the Vatican where he saw the daughter and instantly fell in love where as the daughter rejected his love and began falling into her ancestral succubus ways. For 300 years this pattern continues where at each life one loved the other while the other only lusted for power granted. At the final life Kevin was born but this time he was born 16 years before the female Mary because in the last life his human side was most active never new of his soul mate and married late in life having 4 sons and lived to be 106 years old while in Mary's previous life she lived to be 100 years old and only practiced Succubie powers keeping her succubus traits more active and never becoming impregnated instead of a trasnmigration because she was raised catholic in her previous lives she had the knowledge of reincarnation, and so reincarnated into the family of her choosing breaking her curse of death after birthing a child. Mary and Kevin both upon reaching puberty couldn't control their lust. One day Kevin found Mary and instantly fell in love but he could never get her attention he tried and tried and tried eventually unknowingly he started to practice his incubus arts on her but his desire for her attention grew to great so he started giving her ultimatums where she followed instructions but used every loophole to get her way. In doing so her powers grew far beyond a pure blood succubies could ever dream and in doing so weakened Kevin to a point he could no longer resist his impulsive thoughts until one day, Kevin nearly beat himself to death upon seeing this someone fell in love with Kevin out oof sympathy and compassion. When this happened Kevin was suddenly able to control his lust and over time grew so powerful he could willing accept this strange succubus's hallucinations and absorb her powers. This happened for almost a year until Kevin grew weary of only experiencing hallucinations.

Although Kevin grew weary of the hallucinations he still indulged in them because it increased his power. 1  day around noon before Mary had to go to work they indulged themselves but this time something weird happened. Mary was so intoxicated by the sensation she found herself in fear of how powerful Kevin had become. He was so powerful she instinctively grasped her thumbs in both hands with her four fingers and clinched them tightly. Although she felt pain from the astral pleasure Kevin didn't stop he kept going until he realized she could not longer maintain her presence. Later she started work and Kevin watched as she projected to him she realized and he noticed his power was now overwhelming. Usually Kevin would get an ego boost from this but this time there was no change in his demeanor. After her work Kevin went on about his day as usual playing games that test critical thinking and some general cardio exercises. As for Mary he believes she stayed home and rested. Later that night she managed to go back to the astral plain with him once more but it was for a short time as her power was still weak. Kevin being restless and unsatisfied complained but upon searching for Mary's essence he found she was trying to send him cuddles so he agreed. However he was still restless so he sent her kisses. Being unsatisfied he began his mastered ability to bait her but it didn't last long due to the previous hallucinations causing his power to be overwhelming. Being put into a position of such high power Kevin realized his love for her was only surface level now. Upon realizing this the humanity within him became upset at how he was only attracted to women because he wanted to have sex which is due to his incubus nature, causing conflict.

Mary knows Kevin enough when he is conflicted,  restless, and unsatisfied he tends to go astray, so this time she indulged in her human nature and sent him  so much love he laid down peacefully. However another succubus caught wind of Kevin's power and unhinged him once more. Curious Kevin searched for the new essence, now Kevin is baffled because he doesn't want to lose what he has with Mary. Kevin decides to lay in the dark. He finally managed to find satisfaction and slept peacefully that night. The next day Kevin experienced a day of harsh treatment and bad luck. Nothing seemed to go his way or as planned so he spent the rest of the day laying in the bed in a trance with Mary. As they lay there in silence Mary slid her left arm and leg underneath him, and Gently stroked his head. Kevin looked down at her and she started kissing him, the two opened their mouths and started twirling their tongues together, then Mary and Kevin both became aroused. Mary using her right hand slowly rubbed Kevin's rod up and down her labia until it became wet then she proceeded to slide him inside of her. Both laid still as he throbs inside her letting their heart beats do the work to create pleasure as the continued to kiss Kevin coiled his tongue under hers and stroked the bottom of her tongue with his and as the motion of his tongue began Mary started to slowly grind feeling the head of his rid sit at the entrance of her cervix. As she began to grind the walls wrapped around Kevin's rod began to tighten, she clinched onto Kevin with her arms and legs and Kevin's began thrusting deeply inside of her. He rolled her onto her back and continued thrusting deeply, the tighter he felt her get inside the faster and harder he thrusted until Mary burst with a stream of hot fluid making Kevin go even faster and harder she continued the orgasm reaching a state of euphoria. And as the finished Kevin kissed Mary's forehead and wrapped his arms around her while he was still inside her and both slept peacefully with Mary wrapped in Kevin's arms.