[Complete] [49k] [Middle Grade Contemporary Fantasy] Malbreakers
Hey! I am looking for beta readers for the first three chapters (6k words) of my novel. Percy Jackson meets Jujutsu Kaisen in this South African folklore-inspired fantasy.
Blurb:
Thirteen-year-old Kabelo Mogale spent most of his life feeling invisible—until one day when his father is swallowed by an ancient evil spirit called the Inkanyamba. Kabelo is then introduced to the Village of Wilting Lotus, where he discovers he's descended from a lineage of powerful African warriors tasked with protecting the world from malicious entities.
But the Inkanyamba is a formidable beast, undefeated since its emergence centuries ago. And as it turns out, Kabelo's father is only a bargaining chip; Kabelo is the real target the Inkanyamba's waiting for.
To add insult to injury, the ancestors refuse to accept Kabelo as one of their own for reasons unknown. So, unwanted and powerless, but not without friends, Kabelo breaks out of the Village in rebellion and has seven days to travel the country to find a talking cape—the only and unconventional key to rescuing his father before he becomes monster chyme—all the while fending off other malicious spirits, pesky Wardens, panic attacks, and cantankerous elders raring to get in his way.
Excerpt:
"Moving around the country so much from nightmarish monsters only you can see changes you. You keep one eye on the door of the room you’re sleeping in, and another beneath the bed. Even the tiniest noise will rouse you, almost as if it were thunder knocking on your door instead.
Which was why when I woke up, I didn’t open my eyes yet. I had to assess my environment with my other senses first, decide how deep in the mud I was, and then freak out appropriately."
Current State:
This is draft 4 of the manuscript, revised and edited multiple times.
TW:
Anxiety and panic attacks.
Threat of harm (monster fights, what do you expect lol)
Feedback: Critique on prose, dialogue, characters, and pacing. (Not so much line editing)
Preferred response time: Up to 2 weeks
--------------- I am willing to exchange critiques, provided it is within the same genre (fantasy; it can be MG/YA/Adult). If you’re interested please feel free to comment/DM. Have a great day!