u/Jaded_Guitar2415

Genre: YA Contemporary / Coming-of-Age

Length: ~39,000 words (complete draft)

Content warnings: Strong language throughout, references to vaping, a school suspension, and a romantic relationship — nothing explicit, but the emotional stuff runs real.

Synopsis: It's the night before sophomore year, and the narrator is lying awake running through the same anxious loop he runs every year: bad schedule, hard classes, awkward friend group politics. He has no idea how much is actually about to change. Over the course of the school year — fall ball, Halloween, a suspension, a slow-burn relationship with a girl named Jessica, and a falling-out-and-back with his best friend Jordan — he has to figure out who his friends actually are, who he misjudged, and who he's becoming underneath the version of himself he shows at the lunch table. It's a slice-of-life story about the small, specific moments that quietly rearrange a person over one year of high school.

My main questions:

• Does the opening chapter hook you enough to keep reading?
• Does the voice feel like a real teenage guy, not an adult writing one?
• Pacing — any spots that drag or move too fast?
• Any characters who feel flat or underused?

Genre: YA Contemporary / Coming-of-Age

POV/Tense: First person, past tense

Length: ~39,000 words (complete draft)

Content warnings: Strong language throughout, references to vaping, a school suspension, and a romantic relationship — nothing explicit, but the emotional stuff runs real.

Synopsis: It's the night before sophomore year, and the narrator is lying awake running through the same anxious loop he runs every year: bad schedule, hard classes, awkward friend group politics. He has no idea how much is actually about to change. Over the course of the school year — fall ball, Halloween, a suspension, a slow-burn relationship with a girl named Jessica, and a falling-out-and-back with his best friend Jordan — he has to figure out who his friends actually are, who he misjudged, and who he's becoming underneath the version of himself he shows at the lunch table. It's a slice-of-life story about the small, specific moments that quietly rearrange a person over one year of high school.

My main questions:

• Does the opening chapter hook you enough to keep reading?
• Does the voice feel like a real teenage guy, not an adult writing one?
• Pacing — any spots that drag or move too fast?
• Any characters who feel flat or underused?

Dm for file, I really appreciate it!

It's about a boy in his sophomore year, and I think the plot is good it could just use some cleanup. Dm for details

Last year, at the beginning of sophomore year, I developed this crush on a girl in my class. I never really talked to her, but we interacted a little and I just thought she was really pretty and fun. Later that year at a halloween party she got pretty drunk and called me at like 12 am halloween night (keep in mind we knew eachother but hadnt ever rlly talked). She told me her boyfriend was sleeping over at another girl's house (obviously bad) and we ended up talking until like 4 am when she fell asleep. In this period of time she told me she really apppreciated me, and that she loved me, to which I responded with "You have a boyfriend i think you should stop saying that", despite liking her a lot. After halloween we ended up talking for about 2 weeks about the problems she was having with her boyfriend and most of her friends were telling her to break up with him. Some days, I also said she should break up with him, but most days I told her whatever she thinks would make her happiest. We talked basically nonstop for like 2 weeks. Her boyfriend got very jealous and forced her to block me, despite having her silenced on his phone, cheating with other girls, etc. I understand this reaction and made it clear to her I was okay with it and she shouldn't feel bad. I never told her I liked her. Fast forward about 3 weeks ago she texts me out of the blue saying her anxiety got bad and she needed someone to talk to. She told me that her boyfriend knew she had just texted me and expressed some discomfort at this. I told her she needed to do what was best for her, despite what her boyfriend or anyone else thinks. I said if that means she talks to me, then talk to me. If it means talking to her boyfriend, talk to him. If it means talking to someone else, do that. Whatever is best for her. She said she forgot to take her meds and she ended up having a dream about me. She didn't elaborate on the dream but she implied it was sexual in some way. She asked me if I liked her when we used to talk and I said I did even before that, but not now. After a little more talking, she said she had to block me again, presumably becuase of her bf. I truly have no idea what to do because I really like and care ab her and I kinda just want to go up to her and say "hey, tbh, I do like you and i care about you and Im worried. If you don't want to talk to or confide in me i completely understand that, but I need to know that ur okay". Help me. What do I do

Last year, at the beginning of sophomore year, I developed this crush on a girl in my class. I never really talked to her, but we interacted a little and I just thought she was really pretty and fun. Later that year at a halloween party she got pretty drunk and called me at like 12 am halloween night (keep in mind we knew eachother but hadnt ever rlly talked). She told me her boyfriend was sleeping over at another girl's house (obviously bad) and we ended up talking until like 4 am when she fell asleep. In this period of time she told me she really apppreciated me, and that she loved me, to which I responded with "You have a boyfriend i think you should stop saying that", despite liking her a lot. After halloween we ended up talking for about 2 weeks about the problems she was having with her boyfriend and most of her friends were telling her to break up with him. Some days, I also said she should break up with him, but most days I told her whatever she thinks would make her happiest. We talked basically nonstop for like 2 weeks. Her boyfriend got very jealous and forced her to block me, despite having her silenced on his phone, cheating with other girls, etc. I understand this reaction and made it clear to her I was okay with it and she shouldn't feel bad. I never told her I liked her. Fast forward about 3 weeks ago she texts me out of the blue saying her anxiety got bad and she needed someone to talk to. She told me that her boyfriend knew she had just texted me and expressed some discomfort at this. I told her she needed to do what was best for her, despite what her boyfriend or anyone else thinks. I said if that means she talks to me, then talk to me. If it means talking to her boyfriend, talk to him. If it means talking to someone else, do that. Whatever is best for her. She said she forgot to take her meds and she ended up having a dream about me. She didn't elaborate on the dream but she implied it was sexual in some way. She asked me if I liked her when we used to talk and I said I did even before that, but not now. After a little more talking, she said she had to block me again, presumably becuase of her bf. I truly have no idea what to do because I really like and care ab her and I kinda just want to go up to her and say "hey, tbh, I do like you and i care about you and Im worried. If you don't want to talk to or confide in me i completely understand that, but I need to know that ur okay". Help me. What do I do

Last year, at the beginning of sophomore year, I developed this crush on a girl in my class. I never really talked to her, but we interacted a little and I just thought she was really pretty and fun. Later that year at a halloween party she got pretty drunk and called me at like 12 am halloween night (keep in mind we knew eachother but hadnt ever rlly talked). She told me her boyfriend was sleeping over at another girl's house (obviously bad) and we ended up talking until like 4 am when she fell asleep. In this period of time she told me she really apppreciated me, and that she loved me, to which I responded with "You have a boyfriend i think you should stop saying that", despite liking her a lot. After halloween we ended up talking for about 2 weeks about the problems she was having with her boyfriend and most of her friends were telling her to break up with him. Some days, I also said she should break up with him, but most days I told her whatever she thinks would make her happiest. We talked basically nonstop for like 2 weeks. Her boyfriend got very jealous and forced her to block me, despite having her silenced on his phone, cheating with other girls, etc. I understand this reaction and made it clear to her I was okay with it and she shouldn't feel bad. I never told her I liked her. Fast forward about 3 weeks ago she texts me out of the blue saying her anxiety got bad and she needed someone to talk to. She told me that her boyfriend knew she had just texted me and expressed some discomfort at this. I told her she needed to do what was best for her, despite what her boyfriend or anyone else thinks. I said if that means she talks to me, then talk to me. If it means talking to her boyfriend, talk to him. If it means talking to someone else, do that. Whatever is best for her. She said she forgot to take her meds and she ended up having a dream about me. She didn't elaborate on the dream but she implied it was sexual in some way. She asked me if I liked her when we used to talk and I said I did even before that, but not now. After a little more talking, she said she had to block me again, presumably becuase of her bf. I truly have no idea what to do because I really like and care ab her and I kinda just want to go up to her and say "hey, tbh, I do like you and i care about you and Im worried. If you don't want to talk to or confide in me i completely understand that, but I need to know that ur okay". Help me. What do I do