The premise is that a group of chickens escape the hatchery they're living in after they learn they're going to be sold off, and proceed to have a whole lot of drama and suffering.
What I'm curious about, though, is how many people would see a book starring anthropomorphic animals and immediately dismiss it as being childish and not read it.
I can also give you a more detailed synopsis if you want.
It's real tough out here for us guys 😮💨 Don't get me wrong, I love that genre fiction has become much more respected and taken a lot more seriously than how it used to be 50 years ago, but the resulting consequence is that there is virtually no space for literary fiction, especially online.
I feel very out of place in writing subs where everyone is writing fantasy, romance, dystopian, thriller, sci-fi, horror, and I have me and my little short collection too embarrassed to contribute to any meaningful discussion.
I'm honestly just looking for more teen writers who actually write literary fiction, and what their books are about.
Here we go!!
Detective in wonderland (My draft)
Part one Chapter one : One open eye Alice dear .
How do you remember your childhood? Many say it’s what shapes our character, though why? A childhood is one of life’s greatest riddles, such a bright role yet small in size. Isn’t that odd?
I remember my childhood vaguely, not dreadful but also not satisfying. Full of playground friends, moving every so often the many joys of being young without having to mature and figure out lies from a truth. In this familiar investigation room, I stare at Mrs. Darwin, a now widow due to the death of her husband; Henry Darwin— found dead on the side of the road with the signs I’ve become familiar to.
Headless, a rabbit carved onto his chest— the 6th victim. Though I’m quickly brought back to attention of the woman’s presence. “Who could do this? Why him? How do I explain to my son his daddy is dead!?” The woman sobbed, an unpleasant sound to my ears—though Lena speaks to avoid me having to make an attempt of comfort as she frowns slightly at the woman before offering a tissue “Oh ma’am, we’re terribly sorry but we must ask questions to find who is behind all these horrid murders.” Her words seem to have brought the tear streaked woman’s to whatever senses she possesses as she carefully wipes her face, trying to maintain a veneer of dignity— a moment of quiet before a shaky sigh leaves her lips.
“My husband was supposed to have a-a man’s night out…Him and his friends, and now…he’s, h-he’s dead..” Don’t start crying again, I plead internally; I’m not exactly fond of sobs nor have I truly been one for comforting during investigations, anyone can cry. Anyone can lie as well, though I maintain a careful look of consideration before opting to speak.
“alright Ma’am, do you know where he and his friends would be that night before he left?”
She stares into her lap before letting out a small sniffle. “H-He and his f-friends would go t-to Hawkee lake, t-they’d fish and h-have beer e-every Saturday…” Every Saturday at a lake, and yet he was found on the side of peachers road— noted. “So, may we ask for his friends names? It’s important we as—“
She quickly looked up with offended eyes before firmly shaking her head. “No! They w-would never h-hurt him, how could y-you say s-such thing?” Oddly defensive, a short glance between me and Len silently agree though Lena takes the efforts to calm the woman.
“Of course we don’t think they’d hurt him but, we need to question everyone close to him regardless of our opinion”
The woman continues to frown before finally offering names— after the investigation we took a visit to the investigation board, all victims had the same marking. Headless with a carving though the only similarities among each victim was their history— in the files though their background couldn’t be more different.
Steven Lark? A ex teacher, Marcus Hudson? A truck driver, every victim different even the area of dead was each entirely different places— the method of murder? The victims had the carving after their death, many all died of a gunshot to the head.
Under further looking the familiar voice of Chief Martin ‘s cut through the cluster of voices among the crowded rush. “Hintress, we need to talk.”
In her office, I stare ahead towards her window as I hear her close the door before sitting down. Her eyes intense as she cleared her throat. “Alice, we are both aware of these past few killings and I want to remind you to not remake similar mistakes as last year, can you agree?” Mistake, she remembers— even at her age, her sharpness seems to be a forever trust. I nod “Of course, I agree.” She let’s the space fill with silence, not yet reassured yet wanting to trust my words.
Chapter two : The Rabbit hole is shallow
William Hokins, Joey Vans, Luke Daniels. The three friends who last saw Henry Darwin, Lena and I both stand on the property of the Van’s residence with a small survey around the neighborhood, we step onto the porch before I give a firm knock. “Mr and Mrs Vans? We’d like to have a word if possible” No answer, though as I begin to turn I notice eyes in the window. That’s how we’re playing— I quietly nudge Lena and motion to the window, she knocks this time and the door opens just slightly so we can see the man’s face.
Has a beard, sturdy build and black hair. “Good evening sir, may I as—“ He steps out of the door before firmly closing behind him. “Joey Vans, yeah? Listen, don’t be knocking on my door like that! I know what you people are like— and I ain’t answering to some women!” A strong start to a meeting though I continue on. “sir, we just ask for a moment of your time.” Silence accompanied the glare he was shooting me before finally he sat on a nearby chair. “Well? Don’t be wasting my time, don’t got all day.”
He gestures to two chairs on the porch which me and Lena take the offer before I ask the most simplest question— “So, may we ask where you were last Friday on the 15th?”
After a few questions we soon leave the residence, he provided few helpful words— apparently everything was fine till the men thought they heard a critter, the last they saw Henry.
Though a visit to the Daniels property seemed like they had an argument before said critter hunting, and though he never said about what. Potential to keep an eye on, Daniels mentioned it yet Vans was too apparently guarded to speak of such topic.
Now our last; Hokins under a few questioning both men and wives who saw him said they never went to his home— odd, though what was worse? Under looking for the name in files, there was many of Williams but none in this exact city….William Hokins does not exist, so whoever Henry thought was his friend must’ve been a fraud and his killer.
We have to go by what is known— this “William Hokins” was said to be an African American male, 5’8 no remarkable features from further questioning of those who knew this William.
Soon we were once again face to face with Joey Vans though only this time he was in the investigation room with a far more sour face, Lena walks in first and takes a seat while I follow along. “Pleasure to meet you again Mr. Vans, we’re sorry we had you away from work” The only response was a loud scoff followed with a hard glare, though I continue on regardless— I’ve dealt with worse. “May I ask when you last saw William Hokins if you mind me asking.” He glanced at both me and Lena before his sourness shifted to a slight frown “William? Eh, haven’t seen the son of a gun since last Friday, don’t blame him” A bitter laugh. “After the crap that took place”
So he may be coming forth with said argument Daniels must’ve mentioned— good.
“Crap? What happened that would make you think that? Did something happen?” A small roll of the eyes before he responds “That’s what I mean, woman—don’t act like you haven’t heard messy Luke talk” Tension, of course. “Yes, but we’d like to hear how said argument went down in your own words.”
Sitting across Luke Daniels, we ask the same questions but he seems…Anxious, Lena is the first to acknowledges such fact. “Are you alright sir? You seem startled” A flinch, though he offers a shaky smile “Quite alright, just this whole mess is rather stressful— I mean gossip has a way of running and these questions aren’t making much sense, I—“ He’s spiraling, just what we needed. “Sir, we can reassure you once this investigation is over, you and your family will be fine.” Hopefully, I suppose. He takes a breath before finally asking a question that holds substance “Say…I’ve noticed you’ve been asking about Will, uh..you don’t think he did something….do you?”
The prize question, I suppose it was a matter of time till someone asked.
“Well sir, to be frank— we have reasons to believe said William Hokins is not the man you’ve been acquainted with, does not exist.”
After relaying such news to all parties involved, I noticed during the questioning of Mrs.Darwin— she was practically dragged out the door about a “Robert” being the one who did this, certainly something to look into; a potential character to look for.
Finally after the waves of emotions finally cleared and went far, I was given time to properly have a lunch.
Sitting on a bench, I glance around the movements of life, the walking bodies passing by— all with their own flaws and stories untold, perhaps a one day suspect— though a tap to the shoulder jolts me out of thought, looking behind me stands Lena with a small smile holding out a slice of cake. “we’ve certainly been kept busy, wouldn’t you say? Let’s chat pleasantly”
Why does she bother? I make for lackluster company yet she continues chasing after my attention.
Nonetheless I smile just softly enough to show my reluctance “You shouldn’t have but thank you” A slight shake of her head “Of course but you work so hard it’s only fair we reward ourselves- here, it’s a strawberry cake”
Even as I ate my bologna sandwich— a temporary fulfillment the cake had an appearance and substance to refreshen anyones appetite, I thought against taking the offer- though as I open my mouth to reject Lena’s offer, her face shows her lack of negotiating with a strained smile I take the offered cake and take a small bite.
Sweet in flavor yet perfect in texture, I have to restrain the raising noise of delight trapped in my throat yet Lena notices my look of content and takes a sit without another word.
We engage in short yet pleasant conversation that she mainly carries said conversation with the most ease, perhaps my lack of socialization has made me easy to please yet lost on words.
Though the small moment of temporary connection soon was interrupted as in the distance there was an elderly man running in panic as onlookers watched.
He was full of sweat accompanied with wild, dilated eyes as he screamed “A body! Someone, anyone— call the bloody police— he’s dead, god!”
Quickly I rise and approach the man, a body? Clearly the man saw something but before I could ask even one question he stumbled to the ground. I turn to Lena “Get medics!” As I glance at the waves of bodies watching, I vaguely wonder if someone in this crowd had killed someone.
At the hospital we stand outside the man’s room— Michael Harp, as now identified; now waiting for him to awaken though for the meanwhile Lena takes the moment to speak. “Our Work is never over, wouldn’t you say? Also we could take a look at the area, though seems forensic may beat us.” I offer a short nod before looking in the room’s window where the man lays— he suffered a heart attack but managed to live through now we simply wait.
12:00 p.m. He awakens and seems just as scared as he once was upon seeing us, his mouth seems to run before his senses “A-A man! H-He was dead— it was awful! M-My god!” Lena takes a step to the bed though not too close enough to impose “Sir, please calm down, I’d hate for you to sicken yourself”
The man glanced around frantically, Lena’s words falling short “You have to go! That bod-“ His words cut off by coughs, he’ll work himself up at this point. “Sir.” I snap my fingers, perhaps he needs some aggression. “We hear you but if you pass out how will we find out any information, huh?” A moment of shaky breathing before my words seem to register. Though I continue on “Now collect yourself before you give yourself a stroke.”
That seems to remind him of his pride as he shot a low tempered glare before clearing his throat. “I…I saw a body..” I restrain the urge to have my eyes roll back. “Yes, but where? Anything perhaps….Memorable?”
He nodded before he began to give notes of what he saw— a male’s torso, rabbit. Another victim.
After further questioning me and Lena head out of the room just before the receptionist stops us.
“Excuse me detectives, someone asked me to give these to a…Miss Hintress” What? Before I can verbalize my thoughts, the woman quickly hands me a letter attached to a box.
Lena and I both exchange a glance before looking at the receptionist. “Wait. May I ask who requested you to do this?” She Looks up, a small stiff smile “Mhm, it was an African American man with brown eyes, had a hat and coat” great a man in a million. “Did he give a name?” She nods as she goes back to writing something down. “He said he’s William Hokins” William Hokins, he knows we’re after him— watching us, taunting us at that.
I could feel my hands clench into a fist but I managed to keep a strained smile as I began to briskly walk out of the hospital, as soon as we enter the car my hands make haste in opening the box— inside was a single dirty shoe, a size ten, man shoe. Is this a sick joke? Has this madman truly become overfilled with gall?
I could vaguely hear Lena let out a soft “Good God..” as she peeked inside the box though my blood felt like it was burning to my skull— sick, this killer is a sick freak. A parasite and before I could stop myself my words ran faster then my sense “That parasite, the god awful freak!” A tense moment of silence settles as I stare down into my lap, I must look insane in Lena’s eyes..
Chapter Three
The moment of silence continues on even as Lena began to drive, her silence worse than verbal judgement though what could I possibly say to make her see I’m not a mad woman?
So instead of speaking, I close the box and grab the letter from the top and unfold it; bracing myself.
Dear Alice, our worlds are as similar to twins wouldn’t you say? Yes! Because you are a bunny to my hatter tea party, let us one day have cookies! Before the queen of hearts come for our heads— oh how cruel is reality.
.Love Mad rabbit.
I could feel my fist clench, his letters since the third victim have become more and more deranged and I feared these killings would become worse…I stared at the letter till finally Lena breaks the silence. “What does it say? Is it dreadful?”
What a silly question, the letters have always been “dreadful” though I keep my less than nice thoughts, it was already tense enough….
“I’d say they’ve gotten more crazed if that’s what you’re asking” I fold the letter and put it in my pocket; evidences for when we catch this sick freak.
Oh how I wait to catch him, get under his skin and show all the evidence— unable to deny or run. Just what he deserves.
“Alice? I asked if you’d like to have a talk about how….How you’ve been as of lately…If you’d like?” There it was— that tone, it makes my stomach twist; my fingers clench though I take the time to offer a strained smile even as I hold the urge to scream and cuss at her till she couldn’t even drive anymore.
“Thank you for the offer but I’m okay, that little acting out of mine was due to my hard time of sleeping but thank you Lena” She shot a short glance before focusing back on the road, perhaps my face told her how I truly felt, good.
Why should I baby her stupid questions when I’m clearly not in the mood? I just couldn’t cover my annoyance that well.
Soon we made it back to the station now having to add, a new victim count— the 7th victim had been carried to forensics while we were staying at the hospital though as Lena made way to the forensic door, there was suddenly approaching yelling followed with two coworkers trying to calm the voice down.
The voice was attached to a face— Mrs.Darwin, teary with unkept hair and words spewing out hysterically though I manage to hear the few words.
“You! How could you!? I read the papers!”
Her screaming was irritating to the ears and many coworkers stopped to stare, though I simply turn to face her with a strained smile, there was no need to worsen her foul attitude.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, the station has little to no control over the press. I’m sorry if they’ve mentioned something of his past.” It was hardly my concern on if her husband’s character, besides the press will listen to rumors— it was stupid on her side to instantly think a bunch of less then paid detectives to start or release information.
That didn’t seem to ease her frayed nerves as she glared through teary eyes. “Sorry!? Is that all you can offer? Hah! What can I expect from a freak trying to overtake a field clearly not for her!” And there it was, she of course went there.
I simply stood in place as she closed the distance. “You detectives and whatnot are all useless! You’re not making any difference or whatever yo—“
“Mrs.Darwin, that is enough. I understand your grievance but you will not scream at my detectives like some mad woman.”
Mrs. Darwin turned to face Chief Martin, standing near her office door with eyes that held more judgment than any words could’ve done. I’m glad she stepped as I could feel my fist clench as my already frayed patience hanging by a string, I feared what I would’ve done if she had kept talking anymore.
“Though the interference seemed to only exasperate the crazed woman. “Great! The chief is a asian, why are the exceptions these days?” A short hysterical laugh escaped her throat. ‘Two colored women trying to play the man! No wonder this case hasn’t been solved!”
Finally two coworkers— Marcus and Fred begin to cuff her as she began to scream and shout at the two men, most likely going to place her somewhere to calm before she had herself arrested.
I frown as I see Chief Martin walks towards me with those wary eyes of hers, before laying a warm hand on my shoulder. “Are you alright? That woman certainly had no right to have an outburst like that.”
I refrain the urge to say how I would’ve preferred Mrs. Darwin to choke on her tears though I offer a small smile before nodding, “I’m quite alright, thank you Chief.”
She stared into my eyes for a brief moment before she nodded and finally walked back to her office, after getting the station back into order. Admirable she was.
I finally make my way to the forensics after the…eventful distraction,as I head in I’m greeted by the voices of Lena and Marco
This story is ongoing (almost done drafting).
I’m like 140+ pages in already heh…
- 1: Niven Cohen is a 17 year old Jewish boy who lives in immense poverty. He lives with his disabled father, who became disabled after a car crash that also killed his mother. Niven’s father cannot work due to this so Niven works a weekend job. One day at his job, a 6 year old girl named Noa comes and asks for food because her family is hungry and cannot afford it. Niven immediately builds a relationship with Noa and her family. However, Niven is also harassed at school. 4 boys, whom he calls “the beasts” physically hurt him at school, and Niven fears for his life every single day.
- 2: Parker Leung is a 17 year old girl whose life used to be very happy. However, about 3 years ago, the family was going to say their goodbyes to her older brother Luke for the next few months because he was moving into his Harvard dorm. Parker is about to open the car door when Luke puts his hand on the Handel and gestures for her to go in first, and they end up getting into a car crash with a drunk driver and Luke doesn’t make it. Parker’s parents cannot cope with the grief, so they take it out on her, and expect her to get perfect grades and she has to be the perfect daughter, but she’s never good enough, so her parents physically abuse her, and parker sh because of it. At school, she has a best friend almost like a sister, Serena, and a girl Katelyn joins their friend group after her friends ditched her at the beginning of the story. Parker is anxious every day and barely hanging on, and Serena is the only person who knows her struggles.
- 3. Miguel Romero is a 17 year old boy who lives with his abusive alcoholic father. One night, after his father has a massive like agression thing, Miguel decides he’s going to escape from home. He escapes and sneaks onto a bus that takes him to New York. He’s now homeless, but he meets a gang who steals and does bad things to get by, because they’re struggling like Miguel. Miguel joins but hates what he’s doing. Ngl I just started so idrk know what else to say lol
These characters all meet at the end after a massive tradgedy, and the book will end on a like not cliff hanger but like an emotional turmoil thingy.
Anyways would you read sorry for the tangent lol
I’ve written my very first short story and i’m searching for honest feedback and opinions to improve! English isn’t my first language, and I was applying for a contest with a word limit so I had to cut my story short from 6k words to 3k and less. Let me know what you think :D
I’m writing my hopefully first book, and i’m writing my prologue as more of a short story to introduce my magic system, and some other fantasy elements. It would be confusing to slip it into chapter 1 as the chapter will be somewhat harrowing, to draw in readers. It would also be confusing without a general understanding of the system. Should I scrap the prologue and figure out how to slip in world building, or is it appropriate to keep my prologue?
on here, and a bit of other subredditss I've seen, there were multiple instances of stories just being dystopian in total. of course I'm not against dystopian stories, I've liked a few myself, but it's kind of like we're all just, like doing that.
i feel like we aren't really expanding to other types of stories, there are a lot of genres that we can explore outside of dystopian fantasies.. but it may just be me. there are some people that's not writing dystopian yh, just my inquiries.
🤷♂️
Ive started a new book called Oasis, Science fiction, mainly centered around a lesbian couple and has boys love too.
I’m a published author in my country and this is my first attempt at an English book.
If you could read and give me your opinion I’d be more than happy and I’d do the same for your story. If you left a like or a comment I’ll definitely return the favor!
Thank you!
i’ve been reading a lot of classics, i feel like i’ve been influenced into ultra descriptive writing and too much formality
Name- Niagara Falls Border Smuggling
Genre- Crime Noir
Word count- 619
New writer with no schooling. I can use any advice and critiques. The biggest thing I wanna know is if it's entertaining at all. I have 100 of these that I wanna put in order for my 10 year long adventures.
So my Mc is the central character but when my writing buddy read my story she told me my mc didn't feel like the mc more like everyone else was because of the way I wrote it.
And I don't know whether I did it or purpose or not because my character is emotionless(basically really hard to make entertaining) and this my first time writing a character type like this so I instead focused on my side characters and how they saw him. I'm writing from 3rd person omniscient so I can do this.
Though I have to say I really love that she and others said that because it so interesting and unique from my other writing because it forces me to make my side characters more deverse and interesting and unique themselves
I'm trying to create a cult for one of my stories. I watch true crime videos on cults and all of that however I want to find a way to do a deeper dive into the leaders mind but I don't know where to start so some advice would be much appreciated
So I had this idea last night I'm not sure if its a good one but I've been looking for more writer friends and have made some which is great. But I was wondering if anyone would be willing to make a gmail and then log in to like Wattpad if they like Wattpad and we could have like a group of writer friends who know the password and gmail name so that we all can have like a joint wattpad account to put our stories/fanfics we'd like to share on there. I have a Wattpad account but I've always wanted a joint account to write with other writer friends, if this isn't a good idea let me know but if it is then cool! Not sure why I came up with the idea I think its because so many people on there who write a story are actually two people and they write together or at different times and share an account. I wouldn't share the account I have for those purposes but I would if anyone wants to read my stuff I've written so far. Which is mainly fanfic and one of my original stories but I'm scrapping it and rewriting it.
My time is GMT+12 and I am looking for some fellow teen writers to be friends with I'm on the discord servers that were linked here but every time I go to talk someone will start a small convo then its over within a minute, my own server is pretty dead, I was thinking maybe its because everyone is still in school and summer is around the corner. I get bored and I want someone to share with and talk characters and how we came up with them and their backstory.
If anyone wants to be my friend let me know, I'm pretty chill, I write adventure, murder mystery, fantasy like magic, some slow burn romance its the only romance I write as I don't love others like dark romance cause their not my cup of tea.
I also make playlists based on my characters and their story and personality. I also have pinterest boards for them.
I'm a mod on this sub and I'm planning to do a summer writing challenge now that summers starting.
Though it will take place on Discord, if you aren't allowed to have that for some reason you can still participate with different ways with the specifics I will tell you.
There will be prizes! (There might be... It can't be anything monetary but I'll discuss something.)
If you are interested let me know below! We haven't exactly decided what this writing challenge will be so you can definetely put in your own opinions and they will be looked at.
I was thinking of writing a story where the main character jumps to her death in the first part, and her last words are “I’m sorry.” The best friend is there and with tears in her eyes, she begged her to stay, yet the MC is like hey gurl I love you but no fucking way. That would be the first chapter. Then like the immediate aftermath. It’d be 3rd POV or MC pov.
Then the rest of the book would be from different people’s perspective, some who know her, some who have just seen her, and exploring the impact she had.
It’s a story more about mental health so no romance. There will be many different perspectives, but it will revisit the best friend, and a ‘rival’ who saw the MC as a competitor as she always got top in the exams or something.
I think someone would be more vulnerable with their best friend so I’d like the best friend to know there was something wrong. They didn’t act on it though as they thought the MC could handle it if they really needed help. MC would also seem perfect to people who didn’t really know her well. I think the best friend would feel extremely guilty and her mental state will decline as a result of the MC’s suicide. Perhaps they’ll commit self harm and at the end of the book, they’ll also jump. If she jumps, I think I want it to kinda be like the first chapter, except the best friend apologises to no one, unlike how the MC apologised to her.
I kinda wanna portray it as a critique to society. About how people are struggling but no one tries to help. About how poor mental health awareness is. About how people think depression is just someone being sad for a long time and that it’s obvious while there are actually a lot of people suffering silently in the shadows.
What do you think? Would you read something like this?
Haiii! I’m looking for people I could actually talk to, bc my irl friends r not interested 😂😂😂😭😭. Anyway, I really love creating stories and characters, also drawing, so if there’s anyone here who wants to share their ideas, or just talk, im hereeeee✨✨✨✨