





Feedback on this short story?
I wanted to get some wise feedback from you guys on this. Is it boring, is it interesting, do you feel lied to about the first sentence at the end or is that fine, and etc etc. I tried to have it sort of stripped back almost? Like not over write, but I do tend to go too flowery in most pieces, so if you see something that's too much lmk.
Also I just skimmed it to make sure it was in the right order and I hate that I added "not like him" after not much of a fighter line. I'm gonna delete that, but I don't want to screenshot it again. So pretend that isn't there.
ALSO, I would appreciate it if you try not to be too ruthless, because I am just a wee child. Like maybe at the end just be like "but you're doing great" or smthg to make me feel better
And there might be some TWs, but I can't say what they are bc then it would spoil it. You have been warned. Nothing too graphic tho