u/Upstairs-Kiwi3758

Eleanor Jett was twelve when her family was slaughtered and their house erased from the kingdom's territories. Now twenty, she lives under a false name in the starving North, running heists with a small crew led by Arlo Finch, a thief with clever plans and ambition that refuses to stay buried. When a routine mission uncovers a conspiracy about the reality of the famine, they are forced to choose. Is the truth more important than survival?
In the capital, revolution festers in the sewers. A fire mage named Samuel spends his afternoons teaching nobles how to use a sword, and his nights killing for a masked prophet who speaks of liberation. He must decide how many innocents he's willing to burn for a cause he believes in. The answer changes every night.

After a developmental pass on my first draft, I'm looking for beta readers who can help me polish my story before I start querying. At this point in the draft, my story is basically finalized, so what I really need help with is prose, character interiority, and pacing of events. I don't have a specific timeline in mind, so feel free to read at your pace. I am okay with doing swaps, but I would prefer a standard beta reader. This is my second time working with beta readers on this project. Last time, I received a tremendous amount of help, and I hope to have the same success in this final run. Thank you for reading; feel free to reach out and DM me.

It's been a month since I finished my first draft for my latest story, the one that I'm actually pushing to publish. I've fixed a lot of general formatting things, most grammar issues, as well as developmental issues that bugged me as I wrote through for the first time. I was wondering, generally speaking, when people start looking for beta readers? Do you finish a second pass, and then ask a beta reader for an overview of the prose? Should I already have started looking for beta readers? What are the best platforms to do so?

Here is more information if anyone is interested; feel free to DM me. I've also posted the prologue and chapter one for some feedback on this Reddit very recently, and I was blown away by the amount of helpful feedback I received. You can check my account posts if you are interested in checking those out before you commit, I suppose.

Eleanor Jett was twelve when her family was slaughtered and their house erased from the kingdom's territories. Now twenty, she lives under a false name in the starving North, running heists with a small crew led by Arlo Finch, a thief with clever plans and ambition that refuses to stay buried. When a routine mission uncovers a conspiracy about the reality of the famine, they are forced to choose. Is the truth more important than survival?
In the capital, revolution festers in the sewers. A fire mage named Samuel has pledged himself to a masked prophet who speaks of liberation. As Samuel battles with his own abilities, he must decide how many innocents he's willing to burn for a cause he believes in. The answer changes every night.

I am terrible at blurbs, sorry! :D

Hello, fellow beta readers! Here is a small blurb. (I'm not great at them)

Eleanor Jett was twelve when her family was slaughtered and their house erased from the kingdom's territories. Now twenty, she lives under a false name in the starving North, running heists with a small crew led by Arlo Finch, a thief with clever plans and ambition that refuses to stay buried. When a routine mission uncovers a conspiracy about the reality of the famine, they are forced to choose. Is the truth more important than survival?
In the capital, revolution festers in the sewers. A fire mage named Samuel has pledged himself to a masked prophet who speaks of liberation. As Samuel is sent North to deliver a spark, he must decide how many innocents he's willing to burn for a cause he believes in. The answer changes every night.

I am looking for one or two consistent beta readers who can help me. My story has already gone through two passes, and I am relatively close to finishing. What I need help with is prose changes, as well as reader commentary on my developmental story changes, worldbuilding, and unique character voices. This is an ambitious project with multiple POV's, and a morally gray plot. I am okay with swaps, though I would prefer a simple beta reader. If you enjoy political fantasy and strong action, this is something up your alley. There is romance, but it is VERY slow burn, so don't go in expecting a Romantasy.

Please DM me if you are interested :D

I've recently completed my second draft of my adult fantasy novel, and after making developmental edits, I'm looking forward to getting fresh eyes on the matter and improving my story further. I am looking to be trad-published at some point, so I don't mind beta readers who are blunt, as long as the criticism is valid. I also am looking for betas who talk a lot, because I do the same :D.

As for swaps, I am slightly hesitant because I don't want someone to continue reading my work, only because I'm reading theirs. That being said, I would be okay with swapping, and I try to stay consistent and check in daily. I prefer a beta reader who checks in consistently and does not mind using Google Docs for feedback.

Here is a sample (<500 words):

The boy was not breathing by the time Samuel reached the wall. He knelt beside the body. The emerald coat was soaked and ripped open to reveal a wool vest underneath, darkened where blood spilled. Camel's work was efficient as always, ear to ear, no wasted movements. Blood pooled beneath the boy’s neck, curling off the surface and misting into the night air. Samuel submerged his palm into the warmth, watching the crimson liquid fill the lines between his fingers. He cupped what he could, straightening as he turned. 

The marble was pristine, imported from Western quarries, scrubbed every morning by slaves on their knees. Samuel smeared the first line; it was the start of a shattered crown.

"Clear," a voice hissed from the shadows of a nearby alley.

Mole was crouched in the backstreet, eyes watching the other end of the road. They had similar masks, made of leather that hid the upper half of their faces. Her mask was held by a cloth strip that went above her ears, knotted on the backside of her head, just below a simple hair bun. Mole’s fingers toyed with a silver bracelet that usually looped around her left wrist. 

"The hounds won't last much longer," she whispered. "Hurry, Owl."

Samuel didn't answer. He went back to the body for another handful. One shoe came off during the struggle, and the boy's nails had blood under them.

Camel's, most likely. Samuel thought. 

The gold snake clipped onto his breast pocket glinted in the moonlight. It was the crest of House Montrose, an established family of priests and nobles. The boy's mouth was still open. He would have been thirteen winters old tonight.

Samuel crouched again. The pool spread thinner, creeping along the gaps between the poorly paved street. His nails scraped against the stone underneath, chasing what was left. 

The strokes smeared unevenly on the marble with inconsistent thickness. The six points of the crown took shape. It had to match the others across the capital; consistency was a priority. The Solistaan had been clear.

"They must see it on every wall, in every corner," the Solistaan said. "Until the blind dream of it."

Samuel went back for the last of the pool, which was cooling into a dark paste. He dragged his fingers through what remained, scraping the pads of his fingers.

Enough. Please, let it be enough.

The letters came next, painted broad. They didn't need to be elegant. They needed to be seen.

JOIN THE ALMIGHTY. NOT THE BASTARD

Red dripped from the base of the words, running down the snowy marble in trails. Samuel stepped back, shaking the excess off his hands. 

The wall weeps, he thought. 

Samuel wiped his hands on the boy’s coat. "Done." 

Mole looked at the wall first. Then down at the boy's face, at the dark gash beneath his jaw. She was the newest in the rebellion, still learning from the Solistaan. Her throat bobbed.

"Owl," she whispered. “He was innocent. Just a boy.”

Samuel reached down and unpinned the gold serpent from the verdant coat. The Montrose crest sat in his bloodied palm, staring back at him, fangs bared. 

Samuel pocketed the crest. "His father's sins are his to carry." 

The words were an echo. He heard the same phrase from the others, ringing with more conviction than he could muster. Samuel could almost imagine the earthy color the boy’s skin must have been. Now it was just white. As pale as the wall behind him. 

Please DM, if you're interested 😃

Hi! I'm looking for Beta Readers for my fantasy novel. I am a webcomic illustrator who decided to take a different route and use words to convey my story instead. I'm looking for all kinds of feedback, whether it is prose or developmental edits. I think any critique is useful, and I would love to get some eyes on my story, as well as thoughts on the characters. Thank you for reading! Please DM if interested.

Blurb:

Eleanor Jett was twelve when her family was slaughtered and their house erased from the kingdom's territories. Now twenty, she lives under a false name in the starving North, running heists with a loyal crew led by Arlo Finch, a thief with clever plans and ambition that refuses to stay buried. When a routine mission uncovers a conspiracy about the reality of the famine, they are forced to choose. Is the truth more important than your family?

In the capital, revolution festers in the sewers. A fire mage named Samuel has pledged himself to a masked prophet who speaks of liberation. As Samuel is sent North to deliver a spark, he must decide how many innocents he's willing to burn for a cause he believes in. The answer changes every night.

CW: Depictions of war and civilian casualties; Implied SA; graphic violence

Looking for critiques on pacing, character development, and prose. I would love honest beta readers who don't mind being blunt, but also enjoy a good Grimdark Fantasy. I'm not in any sort of time constraint, but I am a routine person, so I do prefer consistency, and I might pepper readers with developmental questions occasionally. This is a book one in a planned trilogy, and is a pretty ambitious attempt, so if you like Multi-POV, larger worlds, this might be something for you.

Link to the prologue: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16lIg-rh64Nlm2ieUWVfwvz4I-7CyIuil97XIHeGLaDE/edit?usp=sharing