u/COD-noob-

I’m looking for perspectives from people who were (or are) in a similar situation, especially those who became Canadian citizens and later moved back to India.

My situation:
- Indian citizen, Canadian PR
- Canadian citizenship oath is scheduled in a few weeks
Planning to move back to India next year
- I may continue working remotely for Canadian employers for some time, but long-term plans are uncertain
- My future wife will become a Canadian citizen regardless of what I do
- I own a condo in Canada which I might or might not keep as a rental depending on real estate market in Canada when I leave.
- spent months researching this decision. So far I’ve identified:

Pros of becoming Canadian:
- Canadian passport
- No PR residency obligation
- Ability to return to Canada at any point in life without immigration issues
- Easier international travel
- Future children may benefit depending on where we live (wife will have Canadian citizenship so this pro is kinda whatever)
- OCI allows me to live in India indefinitely

Cons I’ve found:
- Lose Indian voting rights
- Cannot buy or receive agricultural land by gift (can still inherit it)
- Some extra FEMA/banking paperwork as an OCI
- more paperwork for property and financial transactions
- government jobs/offices become unavailable (not relevant to me)

What I’m trying to figure out is whether there are practical issues that people only discover years later.

For example:
- Did becoming an OCI create unexpected headaches with inherited property?
- Any tax complications that weren’t obvious initially?
- Any banking or FEMA issues?
- Problems with family settlements, gifts, or estate planning?

Any regrets from giving up Indian citizenship? Or, conversely, are you glad you took Canadian citizenship even after moving back to India?

I’m looking for real-world legal, financial, administrative, or practical issues that I may have missed despite researching this extensively.

Even if it’s something as small as “I had to submit one extra document every time I did X,” I’d appreciate hearing it.

Thanks in advance!

[Posted with ChatGPT help] ChatGPT has been my therapist for last year, so who better to pen it down :)

TL;DR: I’m a 27 yo son who loves his parents but feels like I can only breathe when I’m away from them. They still see me as an 18-year-old even though I’ve lived independently for years abroad. A move back to India has essentially been decided for me by them, and while I understand the practical reasons, I don’t like it. I have ~12 months left abroad and I want advice from men in their early 30s on how to use this time so I don’t lose my sense of agency, identity, and independence when I return.

I’m not really sure how to put this without sounding ungrateful or confused, but I’ll try to be honest.
I love my parents deeply and I genuinely respect everything they’ve done for me. At the same time, I’ve realised something I struggle to say out loud: I breathe easier when I’m away from them.
It’s not because I don’t care about them—it’s because the dynamic between us hasn’t really updated with time. I grew up away from them for a large part of my life, and in their mind I think I’m still that 18-year-old who needs guidance, approval, and direction. Even now, I’m treated like I don’t fully know how to manage my own life decisions.

The situation now is that a move back to India has essentially been decided. It’s not something I fully chose, but I understand the practical reasoning behind it given where life is for us as a family. I can see why it makes sense on paper, even if emotionally I don’t fully agree with it. I always wanted to bring them here so I can take care of them, while not sacrificing my own life. I guess that’s not in the cards anymore due to parents’ health related concerns.

On the career side, things are just as worse. At one point, I was seen as a “next big thing” in my team abroad. I was getting strong projects, visibility, and momentum. Ironically, some of the junior people I trained are now getting the more exciting learning opportunities while I’m in this in-between phase. I understand the firm is thinking long-term—placing people where they see strategic value and continuity—but my internal transfer to India has essentially put me in a transition limbo.

The reality I’m starting to accept is that my career trajectory in the Indian setup is likely more supportive in nature compared to the growth path I had here. It feels like my upward momentum has been capped not necessarily by performance, but by structure and geography.

What makes this harder is that I feel like I’m about to step into a version of life where my independence could slowly get eroded again. I don’t want resentment. I don’t want conflict. I also don’t want to lose who I’ve become over the years of living away.

I have about 12 months left in my current situation before I return for good.

So I wanted to ask men in their early 30s (especially those who have dealt with similar family dynamics):
- How do you maintain your identity and agency when moving back in with, or closer to, parents who still see you as a child?

- How do you set boundaries without creating constant guilt or conflict?

- What actually worked in your late 20s to “stay an adult” in your parents’ eyes—or at least in your own behaviour?

- If you’ve gone through a similar shift (independent life → back to family structure), what do you wish you had done differently in that transition year?

- I don’t want to disconnect from my parents. That’s not the goal at all. I just don’t want to lose myself in the process of staying connected.

Any grounded advice from people who’ve lived through this would really help.

Me and my wife are both Indian born moved to Vancouver, Canada when we were 18, now 10 years later we are moving back to Punjab to be closer to my aging parents (in Ludhiana). My employer has approved my transfer to Mohali office (at least for a couple of years) but there will be compensation adjustment.

I will be moving next year so compensation has not yet been discussed. My wife will be quitting her job and has started exploring opportunities in prop-firms day trading / e-commerce etc.

What is the estimated monthly budget I should keep in mind when discussing compensation with my employer? Idea is to rent a 2 BHK in a good building for first couple of years, hoping building has decent amenities - gym etc. We are thinking of renting to see how me and my wife settle, how my job goes, if wife likes the area and whatnot and then hopefully buy a plot in similar area to build our forever home and move my parents to live with us.

1. Whats the monthly budget for a couple? We are reasonable people but I would like to go a little extra so my wife is a but more comfortable. I estimate our lifestyle to have a cook / maid, one car for us, a bike for fun road trips, weekly eating out, once or twice ordering in food etc. I will plan on higher side to be conservative as I want to offer everything I can so my wife does not feel she gave up on everything for me.

2. Whats a good area I should be looking to rent in? I am not sure where the Mohali office is but I am assuming in and around IT park. Hoping for some people living with similar life experiences so my wife has opportunities to network. I am okay with a slightly longer drive if it means us living in a better society.

3. Not an actual question but more of a thought of my conservative self I guess - My dad has been doing decent in his business and has a couple of plots etc. in outskirts of Ludhiana. He will be helping me with my forever home but is building a house in Mohali even practically possible? I see real estate is going for crazy prices in Mohali area but what does a decent ~300 sq. yd. Plot runs?

4. Any advice for this chapter of my life from peeps at similar life stage?

TIA!

Me and my wife are both Indian born moved to Vancouver, Canada when we were 18, now 10 years later we are moving back to Punjab to be closer to my aging parents (in Ludhiana). My employer has approved my transfer to Mohali office (at least for a couple of years) but there will be compensation adjustment.

I will be moving next year so compensation has not yet been discussed. My wife will be quitting her job and has started exploring opportunities in prop-firms day trading / e-commerce etc.

What is the estimated monthly budget I should keep in mind when discussing compensation with my employer? Idea is to rent a 2 BHK in a good building for first couple of years, hoping building has decent amenities - gym etc. We are thinking of renting to see how me and my wife settle, how my job goes, if wife likes the area and whatnot and then hopefully buy a plot in similar area to build our forever home and move my parents to live with us.

1. Whats the monthly budget for a couple? We are reasonable people but I would like to go a little extra so my wife is a but more comfortable. I estimate our lifestyle to have a cook / maid, one car for us, a bike for fun road trips, weekly eating out, once or twice ordering in food etc. I will plan on higher side to be conservative as I want to offer everything I can so my wife does not feel she gave up on everything for me.

2. Whats a good area I should be looking to rent in? I am not sure where the Mohali office is but I am assuming in and around IT park. Hoping for some people living with similar life experiences so my wife has opportunities to network. I am okay with a slightly longer drive if it means us living in a better society.

3. Not an actual question but more of a thought of my conservative self I guess - My dad has been doing decent in his business and has a couple of plots etc. in outskirts of Ludhiana. He will be helping me with my forever home but is building a house in Mohali even practically possible? I see real estate is going for crazy prices in Mohali area but what does a decent ~300 sq. yd. Plot runs?

4. Any advice for this chapter of my life from peeps at similar life stage?

TIA!