Always Get The Most Time With Your Kids That You Can In Preliminary Orders
Hello brother. Unpopular pro se veteran of the sub here. Yes I know, I am not actually legally divorced as I was never legally married, but I have seen some shit. Hear me out. I do legitimately want children to have their father in their life, I didnt really have a father and I often wonder how my life would be different if I had... I have spent probably over 1000 hours fighting to remain present (and my ex has spent >100k in attys fees fighting me) in my 5yo daughter's life.
One of the basic messages passed around the sub is always start with 5050 timesharing. I must emphasize that completely. Always start with 5050 timesharing, if you dont, you'll be multiple years into litigation just trying to obtain the equal timesharing that was stipulated as the "goal" in your parenting plan. This will happen to you if your ex is demented and thinks fathers are nothing more than wallets. I've completely lived it. I have been actively litigating to get more timesharing against a parenting plan that said I do get 5050 timesharing as a "goal". Contempt attempts 4x just for following basic court orders. I have had some success, I do have 35% timesharing today, now, but the the most recent ruling for me: "this parenting plan does accurately describe the timesharing for respondent when he completes step up, I therefore cannot find petitioner in contempt" and "there is no pathway to 5050 described by this plan, so it's unclear and I cant enforce any of this section".
The parenting plan said 35% timesharing was required after completion of step up. My ex held me at a 27% schedule for literally a year while the court figured it out after I filed for contempt. She did this because it maximized child support - she collected maximum child support the whole time, even after the state began paying for her daycare - that's 800/mo that was part of the calculation which was not correct. Do you think she ever requested CS be changed the entire time? You know the answer. This person is a government official but apparently not above outright fraud.
I have had to continue suing- if the court finds rhe parenting plan unenforceable, it must describe the timesharing I am supposed to have with a schedule.
I say all of this to say, this was totally avoidable for me if I just started with 50% timesharing to start. She wont agree to 5050 or a clear plan to get there? Go all of the way to court. My ex's live in boyfriend has also been divorced for 7 years and still has less custody than I do simply because he keeps settling out of court for less.
Equal shared parenting or bust.