Mental load - Maycember
VENT about Maycember and working moms!
I started a new job (from salaried, no hourly billing) to billing hours. This was a part of a move that depends on my salary (2/3 of our income) to pay for our HCOL mortgage (with good public schools). Also better job for my mental health.
We tried to switch some mental load tasks to my husband, who is diagnosed as severely ADHD (like 90th percentile) because of the hourly billing requirement. (Note that he is getting therapy and is medicated). I thought it would be okay since he says he’s bored at his new job. I was also spoon feeding him the tasks. Anyway, it did not work out. I was mad at everything he missed (ie: establishing care for our kids at doctor, he said it was scheduled 2 months out and it was not - unbeknownst to me). He was taking out his overwhelm on everyone and it was miserable.
I took most of the mental load back to repair things. It’s been mostly fine, but Maycemebr has kicked my ass. This week, I have to TELL him I that there is a conference, I signed up for it, and it’s at 8:30 in the morning. It’s on the shared calendar he doesn’t check. And the sign up is on a shared Google document the whole class can see. Or today I told him, remember I’m wfh for the class party. He’s like, oh yeah class party.
Mostly a vent - If I miss something, I have no backup! I am so paranoid. I don’t have a friend backup like I used to! So either I am work extra hours or working at night to makeup the time.
And yes, I’m letting nonessentials go, and I’m giving him all the physical labor tasks, but I still feel like Atlas for this family.