r/workingmoms

I’m 33yr female with a 1 month old. I work for mass general Brigham in Massachusetts. Full time 40 hours but my commute to Boston is 4 hours total a day, waking up at 3:30am and returning to the house by 6 when my hours are 7am-3:30pm. I’m on maternity leave for 5 months. I also have a 5 year old

My husband makes fairly good money as a plumber. I make $30/hr and hold the health insurance

I want to figure out how to be home for longer, but not loose my health insurance. It’s going to be impossible with drop off, pickup, a baby’s needs on top of a five year olds need. I would barely see my kids and nights with a baby with the commute is gonna do damage to my mental health I’m sure

I worked from home my whole pregnancy because I was too sick to commute, but they were very clear I’m to return to the office in Boston

I was thinking of quitting, but we need health insurance

I feel like leaving your baby at 5 months being gone the majority of the day isn’t right

Any advice or suggestions?

I cooked our aging produce instead of getting takeout for dinner!

That’s right. It’s been a long day. Started work 2 hours early to try to catch up on a project. Was taking our kid to an event after work/daycare right downtown. Where all the restaurants are. Soooo tempting to cave and go out or take out. But we bought so many vegetables a week (or more 😳) ago that were on their last legs. Ground meat right there in the fridge ready to go. So I dragged my tired ass into the kitchen, put a bunch of stuff in a steamer basket, set up our rice cooker, and went to the kid event. Then threw ground beef in a pan when we got home and voilà—dinner I already had paid for.

Will we cave and get takeout tomorrow? Maybe. But today, I used what we had. Today, I won.

Edit: You sure do know how to make a gal feel good. 😊 Cheers to the end of this long day.

My mom is a living martyr for her family, and she’ll never let you forget it. She would tell us all the time growing up that she was going to become a doctor, but when she got pregnant, she had to set aside all of her personal wants and needs and dreams to take care of us kids, so basically we all better do something with our lives so her grand sacrifice was worth it. First gen immigrant, IYKYK. I swore my whole life that I would never put that level of pressure on any of my future kids.

I’ve been doing some journaling lately and I’m realizing that maybe I’m sacrificing more of myself that I really want to for my family. A lot of my own preferences for things have gone out the window to make space for what the family needs, not what I need or want. I know it’s natural for certain things to not matter as much as we get older, and sacrifice is a necessary part of parenthood, but I worry I’m becoming more of my mother than I want to, just with less whinging (which doesn’t necessarily make it any better). I’m trying to get ahead of resentment here.

For those of you do intentionally make your preferences and needs matter, how do you really take care of yourself, what does that actually mean for you? How do you occasionally put yourself first in the hierarchy of family needs? I’m starting to explore where to take back a bit more space and could use some examples.

Just had my second child 4 months ago and last night I finally got the chance to go out with my friends. I work from home and baby stays home with me (and a nanny, oldest goes to daycare) so I’ve basically been house locked outside of Target runs. I went out to a small event, had one glass of wine at a bar after, and was headed home by 10. I felt human again.

Then, as I got into my car, my boss sent me a nasty message on Slack about a small typo on something. Like two full paragraphs about something I fixed in 10 seconds. The wind got sucked out of my sails. I’ve been back from maternity leave for roughly 2 weeks and I am still getting caught up on everything. And the last two weeks have been me trying to fix all the things my fill in person broke while I was away.

I honestly felt so sad. Like truly defeated. I just wanted one night to not be working or being a mom. I finally got it and this woman couldn’t have just waited to blow up my phone until the next day.

I really want to quit. I’m so over it.

:
I'm 31F and currently on maternity leave I’ve been on maternity leave for 12 months, with my scheduled return to work in January 2027. I'm a Global Manager of Corporate Communications at a large global organization, where I oversee internal and external communications, PR, executive communications, ESG , and a team.

Over the past few months, my company has been going through some significant organizational changes, including new executive leadership and a restructuring of several departments.

While I've been on leave, I was offered a 15% salary increase, and now things have progressed even further.

I've officially been confirmed as one of two leaders in the newly restructured organization, reporting directly to the Chief Resource Officer (C-suite). The other leader will oversee Marketing, while I'll be responsible for the communications side of the organization.

Here's where things get interesting.

The company is apparently very unhappy with my maternity leave replacement, and I've now been asked to consider returning earlier than January, in November instead. They're willing to accommodate me with either a fully remote arrangement (which the company is very against normally) or a hybrid schedule requiring only 1–2 days in the office per week to catch up and bridge the gap. My previous boss told me that he highly suggests working with the c-level executive and show my true leadership.

I'm obviously excited about the opportunity, especially because reporting directly to a C-suite executive feels like a significant career move. At the same time, I have two young children, and I had originally planned to take my full leave.

My questions:
Does reporting directly to a C-suite executive as one of two functional leaders typically warrant a Director-level title?

Would you negotiate additional compensation or a title change before agreeing to return early?

Would you return early for this opportunity, or stick to the original January return date?

I'd especially love to hear from anyone in corporate communications, HR, or senior leadership who has navigated something similar.

I don't want to miss a potentially career-defining opportunity, but I also don't want to give up the remainder of my maternity leave without making sure the arrangement makes sense for me. I’m confused if I should take the part time role, fully remote flexibility hours or just refuse all together.

That’s it. That’s the whole concept. I’ve never done this.

I woke up feeling awful after a sleepless night from work stress. I’ve been saving PTO if I need it for LO during flu season and the upcoming holidays. But today - today I decided is my day.

Just finished a bowl of oatmeal in bed. I made it fancy and added some things like pecans and maple syrup.

The work dumpster fires are still firing, with or without me. I’ve turned off all notifications (except my husband and daycare).

Here’s your thumbs up to just exist for the day. I’m gonna go throw on a Headspace talk and close my eyes.

I’m sitting here crying nursing my toddler to sleep. he has always been low sleep needs, and recently started taking very long naps at this daycare.

since he doesn’t get up til 2/2:30, this has pushed bedtime back a ton. he’s typically great about signaling when he’s tired. we do the same routine every night. dinner, walk, bath, quiet play, story, nurse.

generally he falls asleep quick enough that I have 20 minutes to sit on the couch and look at my phone. today was especially hard.

he woke up at 5, we struggled through a grumpy morning before drop off at 8.

i worked from 8:15-5, we picked him up . He was so full of energy but we stayed consistent, nursing to sleep by 7;30. It’s now 9 and he just went down. I’m not sure u even ate dinner, and I feel like my night is over and j need to get ready for work again, and hell be up at least 3 times tonight

I resent work for making me rush my time with him. I wish he was the only thing I had to think about tomorrow.

Well, I have 4 kids. I have always wanted 4 kids but also wanted to work outside the home. After our first two, daycare became SO expensive (!!) and no way it was possible. Fast forward to my second turning 5 and starting school, things got more manageable. We had two more, 3 years apart. Now we are at 13G, 11B, 🌈 3G, 6m Boy. and complete.

Short story long… my husband is a high earner. I was layed off after mat leave both times for my last two kids, from fortune100 companies (USA based). They were both related to reduction in force and location, not performance based.

I keep thinking “am I getting pushed out of the corporate world?” - I can’t help but tell myself this story on repeat, but it does feel like it. I also went to a women networking event and quickly realized no one else had more than the 1.5kids. Small sample size, but nevertheless got me thinking

I guess what I’m trying to know is, is it even possible to stay in the corporate world as a mom of 4? Or better yet, is it even worth it?…I’m currently laid off and trying to figure out my next move.

I’ve been back to work 3 months now and my baby is 8 months old. My calm maternity leave days have been replaced by chaotic work days, drop offs, doctor appointments at 7:30am before work, and working after I put my baby to bed. I work almost entirely remote at a busy small company. Its become pretty toxic with poor leadership and I hate it.

I want more time with my baby. I miss him so badly. I feel like work takes that from me. He’s in a great daycare but every day after drop off is hard on me.

I dream of taking my time and my life back but I don’t necessarily want to be a stay at home mom. i‘d be giving up a lot for that. I like having my own thing. A lot of the time on maternity leave I felt like I was watching the clock waiting for my husband to get home and feeling jealous he was out talking to adults.

what’s the right move for me? I think getting a new job may help. Any advice?

As may be obvious from my choice to post in this community, I'm a working mom. Breadwinner and all that. My oldest child started kindergarten in September. It has honestly been a better transition than I anticipated... Until today.

My kindergartner brought home an envelope with scoring for something called DIBELS (Dynamic Indicators of Basic Early Literacy Skills). His scores were abysmal. He will be receiving Title 1 services based on his scores.

On one hand, I'm grateful to the school for providing the resources my son apparently needs. On the other hand, I'm devastated. My husband and I are fairly well-educated. We both did well in school. My husband isn't a big reader on his own, but we are sure to read to the kids every night. We sang the alphabet until it stuck. We worked on writing our son's name with him until he could reliably do it on his own. He could find letters on a page if we asked him to point them out. I thought we were doing ok. Tonight I'm shaken, wondering what I should be doing differently, and wondering if I'm in for the same issue with my daughter in a few years.

I work remotely. Kids are 7 and 13. I drive them for activities. I am looking for ideas to make my life bigger/fuller .I live in WA state . Making friends is a bit harder. I do a lot of kids stuff , but want to do more my stuff too.

what are some ways to lead a more creative, bigger /fuller life?

Last week my boss approached me about taking on a C-suite position that would be life-changing. My salary *could* increase (a minor bump comes with the promotion) but if I'm successful I could bump it much higher, I would just need to kick ass my first year. The thing is that my toddler is turning 2 and was going to transition from a neighborhood small group nanny share (3:1) to a bigger childcare setting that is so much more affordable but way less flexible and I was expecting to be sick all next year and need to take a lot of time off. I live in a VHCOL area and there are not any childcare slots at a small ratio preschool or childcare centers until Aug 2027. The cost of a nanny is as much as rent and I would have to dip into savings to make it work but it would give me the best flexibility possible and I would have a solid 8 months of being able to do as much as I can in the new position. I don't have any family that can pitch in and I caretake for an elderly parent. TLDR: Is it smart to go into the hole financially so I have a better chance of a career opportunity that might set me up for bigger financial gain in the future?

I am due in 3 days and still actively working. They had me out my out of office up early, but requests are still non stop and the people who will be covering for me have asked me more questions than I ever could have imagined. I have laid out priorities for Q4 is 5 different ways, have drafted everything I possibly could and have added my coverage to all of my emails. There is nothing more I can do, but somehow I’m still getting questions every 5 minutes.

I took 4 hours of sick time yesterday because I am exhausted and logged in this morning to so many m emails and more questions. We are not doctors, we’re not saving lives. The panic and stress over things that do not matter is insane. We had an office expand and need some new artwork so we selected 3 images to put in the addition and we are required to go through 4 layers of approval… to get photos printed. The office leader should have the final say. They are photos of our projects, work he wants to showcase. Why would they not be approved?

We also have to get this done by next week so there’s a tight turnaround and we still have to go through 4 layers of approval. I got the images and the mockups, I dont know why we can’t just say this looks good and place an order.

Why are people calling and texting me all day long about pictures? Why do I have to be so involved in this that I can’t take a sick day. Why is taking time off like a punishment? I’ve already been frustrated with the way things work here, but I’m so over it now. The bottlenecks make everything impossible to finish in a timely manner, the questions are exhausting. I just don’t have the mental capacity to deal with any of this anymore.

We had a nanny for 18 months with our first. I worked remote as a Graphic Designer and could keep bf and be there in case of anything. I think it was awesome for us but god financially it killed my whole paycheck. My hubby was able to cover the rest of the bills though.

At 18 we switched to daycare and that was a little over half price. My boss was super flexible as we transitioned and I loved that flexibility that we had. That job is out of the picture, unfortunately (it did pay a lot less) and Im looking for something better but here I am planning the next step and honestly our timeline is short on this decision....

So tell, me how the hell would I afford 2 kids in daycare?

I'm in the states so 3 months leave only

Im seriously considering becoming at least a part time sahm if not full time since Graphic Design is already hard enough to find work in. What do I do?

I have a work trip that will be a 5 hour flight away from where I live. Babe will be a month old. Work doesn’t know I’m pregnant yet, but has made it clear this is a necessary board meeting.

What to do? Of course money matters, but I’m not sure what the best option is.

I have an old friend from undergrad who lives in the city. I could maybe ask her if I can bring babe and drop them off with her for the week? She’ll have a one year old. I would pay her.

Try to survive conference life in a hotel room with babe & … my mom? Bring the person I plan to use as our part time babysitter?

Leave babe at home and ask our part time baby sitter to come and be with babe, ask my parents who live a 3 hr drive away to come and help my partner too? This option feels like it might be the best, but leaves me thinking I’m a $h!+ mom for even thinking of it.

To start, I have no idea about cost and of course that matters. For this moment, this board meeting, I know being present is likely to be a non-negotiable.

Only kind advice please. Already catastrophizing in my mind.

Does anyone outsource classically husband duties? Breaking down boxes from deliveries, cleaning the grill, things involving a ladder, putting up easy decorations, garage organization? My husband is too stretched, he says, to do that. I just want to get a sense of how common that is. We have a handyman DIY kind of helper who has been great but sometimes i wonder if we are just being lazy. 😂😂

What boundaries or limits have you set recently to improve or maintain your work/life balance?

Our kids play a lot of sports and are in various other activities. Due to weather and outdoor field conditions, sometimes our kids’ soccer practices are scheduled for EARLIER in the day at the last minute. For example, twice in the last two weeks my 9 year old’s practice has moved from 5:30 PM (already a stretch) to 5 PM to accommodate every age group getting indoor field time when outdoor fields are too wet. I decided that from now on when that happens, we are just not going to make it that day. I get off work at 4:30 and I’m not going to take off work early at the last minute for that to rush around. If it’s planned at least days in advance, we’d make it work, but otherwise no. He can miss occasionally and we make it 99% of the time. I also set a message on the app explaining that we just can’t get there by 5.

My son goes to a big franchise daycare that boasts about its educational curriculum, STEM education, fine motor skills, and sensory activities. I knew that would mostly be bs, but is it normal to be complete bs?

Every day I get a report of what they did in class, but I know for a fact they don't do half of what the reports say. For example, it's "fire safety week" and the activities today were supposed to involve building firehouses out of blocks, making paper crafts, and having a discussion about the different things in a fire station. For the last activity, I saw his teacher take out the different pictures, spread them on a table, take a photo, and then put it all away immediately. I haven't seen them doing group crafts even once. My son is only 18 months old, so I don't expect much and I know the play and socialization aspect is more important. But is it normal to expect nothing?

As the title says, how do you get off the corporate Kool-Aid without tanking your career?

I’ve been in engineering consulting for 10 years. Before kids, I totally played the game: first in, last out, playing the politics, networking, and clawing for every raise and promotion.

Then I had two kids, and my whole perspective on life shifted. I just want to do my job, be a good teammate, get paid, and enjoy family life.

But the culture at work is insufferable. The fake niceness, sucking up to leadership, the cringey LinkedIn posts...just can't bring myself to care about any of it anymore. There's also an endless push to "build your brand" and remain relevant in the industry. It's not enough to just exist and do your job.

But I don't want to quit, my salary is needed, I mostly like what I do (the actual work itself) and there are decent people in the office.

So for all the corporate baddies out there, how do you protect your peace AND stay relevant? Give me all of your corporate life hacks!

I’ve always been a clean sink, clean floors, no extra stuff on the countertops, dirty clothes in the laundry basket kind of person. My very loving husband is unfortunately the complete opposite. I genuinely think he is just wired differently and doesn’t notice visible mess the way I do.
I like to clean as I go, while he is more of a “I’ll do it later” kind of person. If I have coffee, I’ll either put the mug in the dishwasher or at least put it in the sink. He’ll leave his mug on the dining table because he plans to come back to it later. My socks usually go into the laundry basket as soon as I take them off, while his might stay on the floor for a few hours or even a few days until they eventually make it into the basket. Sometimes I get so tired of looking at them that I just pick them up myself.
I have communicated to him what feels like a thousand times that this affects my mental health. Usually, the response is either “I’ll do it in a bit” or, if I ask multiple times, “I can never do enough for you.”
It’s not that he doesn’t clean at all. He does. But honestly, it is never enough for me. I find myself constantly having to delegate, remind him, or redo things he has done because they weren’t done the way I would have done them. I know that isn’t a healthy dynamic either, so I have basically given up on asking him to do things the way I want them done.
What I’m realizing is that I need to focus on what is actually within my control, which is how I react to the mess.
Because lately, it feels like seeing a dirty dish or a dirty sock on the floor can completely ruin my mood. I can go from being completely fine to incredibly irritated and angry just because I see something out of place. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I just want to completely dissociate from everything and not deal with anyone or anything.
I don’t want to live like this.
I also don’t want to spend my life trying to get my husband to see mess the way I do. I know I can’t control how he is wired or what his natural threshold for mess is. At the same time, I don’t want to pretend that the mess doesn’t bother me because it genuinely does.
So I want to work on myself and figure out how to get to a point where I can see a sock on the floor and not immediately feel angry or overwhelmed. I want to be able to let some things go without feeling like I have to clean them immediately just so I can feel okay.
For those of you who are naturally very clean and tidy and live with someone who is much more of a “I’ll do it later” person, how did you learn to stop letting the mess affect your mood so much?
I’m specifically looking for advice on changing my own reaction to the mess, because that is the part I actually have control over.