Stay at home dad expectations
My husband is a stay at home dad who is very engaged and crazy about our 10 month old. We have our daughter on a schedule and he follows it to the letter. The issue is I work from home 2 days a week and I feel as though he’s expecting 50/50 parenting effort when I’m not actively in a meeting or hands on working a task. I am lucky to have a very laid back high level job and am able to schedule most of my actual work during my in office days and simply have my phone on me ready to respond on wfh days.
We are fortunate that our daughter takes long consistent naps but it’s as though he’s allergic to being productive while she’s sleeping. He fills that time with YouTube and endless scrolling then pops up when she wakes up and suddenly needs to take a shower or run an errand. This happens at least twice a week. He even suggested once I should take meetings where I don’t have to talk much on my phone while caring for her.
I do want to mention that if I have a rare serious meeting or task on a wfh day he will take her without complaint. It’s just that day to day I feel like I get the side eye for wanting a break for myself when I’m not actively working. I told him at one point as a stay at home parent he shouldn’t count on my availability and needs to manage his time like I’m not there. He got upset and accused me of not wanting to spend time with our daughter and I’m implying caring for her is a burden.
At this point going to the office is almost less stressful, I get time on my commute to listen to my audiobooks plus coffee and lunch breaks to just zone out and relax fully. At home I’m constantly pivoting between childcare and checking emails/Teams.