- "Blu...

Bluuu...

Come here.

Blu?

Come here.

You really made a mess this time, tiger."

- "Come on champ, pull yourself together... deep breaths."

- "OH FOR GOD'S SAKES, LOOK AT YOU! A FEW COMMIES HATE YOU, THE COALITION SPENDS SOME TIME WITH NEBULA AND BOOHOO- YOU'RE A FUCKING MESS!"

- "You have to be stronger, Blu... for the DoR..."

- "YOU STILL. NEED. LOVE!

SO MUCH LOVE!^(You're pushing your limits)

YOU STILL CRAVE IT!"^("No-")

- "That's not true-"

- "YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THEM WEAK, AND NEEDY, LIKE YOU!"

- "We can still fix things...

They're your people..."

- "THEY HATE YOU!

THEY'RE GONNA TURN ON YOU!^("Your blood...")

EVERYONE HATES YOU!"

- "Sshh, shh, shh, shhh...

It's time to overcome this... need for love, this... sickness...

Once and for all.

You're never gonna be your true self until you transcend your humanity."

- "What do I do?"

- "YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO THE START!"

- "Bluuu...

You need to go home."

Proem and Ancestral Invocation

Sing with me, you Ancestors, for you who reside in the songs are the most suited to bring remembrance to the days our Kin was carved from stone by the ancient forces.

Aid me in this my composition, so that we shall vindicate the ignoble insult cast upon us by the lies spewed by nefarious foes; dispel their illusion to the eyes of Man and every other creature of Law.

[><><><><><><><><><><><]

Of the Hominid Question

It is falsely sustained by the Elven and Mannling scholars that the Kin is part of their same family. It is however the weak plank of the evolutionary tree theorised by an elf, who sought to paint the dwarves as inferior creatures, to support their claim.

I will not address the nature of the relations between Mans and Elves, for their bloodlines’ convergence is not a matter of my knowledge or interest. Instead, I will deftly explain how the current tree accepted by the scientific community is bigoted pseudoscience that deserves condemnation.

The Dwarf is, in themselves, not a creature of the same origins as Man. The common ancestor we share is further back in millennia than the supposed Homo primogenitor. We Dwarves are to Mans and Elves what a Great Goat would be to the Tumsang Horse and Olenian Deer.

Our bone structure is severely different, not only on a skeletal composition level but also on the very material of bones. Higher levels of mineral salts in our bones and a less porous structure make them heavier and more resilient than the human counterpart- and even more of the elven counterpart, which is more similar to that of the common avian!

Furthermore, our digestive systems and acids are far more potent: what is deadly to humans has been observed to be short of bland or mildly spicy for most dwarves. Eating rocks is a practice that platypuses alone, in nature, I’ve observed doing, and even these curious creatures cannot stomach these pebbles they put in their mouth to chew food; digesting rocks, now that is something only a dwarf can do- albeit a purely stone-based diet is discouraged.

Our respiratory filters are far more advanced than humans, and despite that often exhausting us of breath, it allows us to breath freely in environments contaminated by loads of ashes, dust and powders that would be harmful.

Even something as simple as the skin texture, which we have more porous, draws a significant difference between us and them; our skin more easily disperses heat; and added with the more water-resistant properties of our hair, it also allows sweat to not cling onto our body.

And in matters of hair, it should be noted body hair in dwarves grows EVERYWHERE. It is a common misconception that we dwarves refuse to shave our beard as a cultural habit, but the truth is we do shave! Yes, we keep our beards growing as a constant metre of our long age, but if we did not shave the rest of our bodies would also grow hair. Our patterns of growth are closer to large felines rather than the Homo.

On the basis of these differences, I stay certain that Dwarves and Elves are not the same animal family!

As the twin Destroyers, commanded by Captain Italius-Urbanus and Captain Turnbull, approached the Gulf Isles in a convoy escort operation attempting to circumvent the blockade imposed by the enemy, when suddenly 5 Fonendi corvettes patrolling the coast of the northernmost isle engaged with the duo escorting 4 large trade vessels.

The DSS Minuteman suffered minor damages to the torpedoing tubes targeted by 2 corvettes’ armaments while a third was swiftly rendered inoperative by a direct battery barrage from the DSS Wrath.

The fourth and fifth corvettes, moving to pry on the defenceless trade ships, were halted in their advance by direct collision with the DSS Wrath that halted the fourth corvette and pushed it to prow the fifth, unfortunately only after it had already shot towards the fleeing trade vessels, hitting one and damaging its motors.

The fourth subsequently sank as the DSS Wrath deliberately shot a battery barrage and caused severe damage to the whole upper bridge. The fifth in the meanwhile was discombobulated and vulnerable to an attack by the DSS Minuteman, which had fled away from the previous engagement after sinking the first corvette but taking considerable hits from the second, that pursued it and attempted to outmanoeuvre it with superior speed.

As the fifth ship was sunk by the Minuteman’s and Wrath’s cross-fire, the second corvette fled together with the already disarmed third corvette. A total of 68 seamen were collectively captured in the following raking of the shipwrecks. The larger missing part of the crews was likely evacuated aboard the third corvette, which had avoided all engagement during the fight. The damaged trading vessel was towed by the DSS Wrath until it was out of the zone at risk of enemy warships, after which the motors were repaired enough to have it towed by another trading vessel instead.

The 4 convoys confirmed their docking in a Musul port the next day, where the damaged ship was properly repaired and the cargos delivered.

TO ALL DWARVES BRETHREN HIDING IN THE DARK: THIS IS YOUR CALL. YOUR CALL TO COME OUT OF THE SHADOWS OF THE HOSPITABLE MOUNTAINS AND UNSUSPECTING CITIES OF THE DEMOCRACY. THE KIN MUST REUNITE AND RESURGE IN THIS AGE THAT BELONGS NOT TO THE MANNLINGS ALONE, FOR THIS WILL BE A NEW AGE WHICH ALL FOLKS SHALL SHARE!

WE ARE DWARVES! AND WE'RE BACK TO DIG ANOTHER HOLE!

I warned you! If you keep with the stupid trend I’m putting you in the Book!

Grudge of Lazy Trends:

u/AresTheLoneWulf, u/cheesesprite, u/Chance_Range_727, u/anonymousinduvidual and u/Aggressive-Simple-16 are guilty of having participated in the lazy and obstructive trend of the day and contributed to its popularity, instead of allowing actual content to flourish!