Reaching out to sister after a year of no contact
My older sister (both of us are mid-40s) and I haven't spoken in a year. We had a very close relationship basically our entire adult lives, while she burned down every other meaningful relationship in her life. I was the constant throughout, her favorite person. I have two young kids, she has no kids. We live in different states, about a day's drive or short flight away
She blew up our relationship over a year ago because she didn't like that I advised her that she shouldn't pursue a toxic and predatory relationship with a married guy in her life. We had the kind of relationship where we could tell each other the truth, or so I thought, so it didn't feel like an over step. But it was and she gave me the silent treatment for months. I reached out at some point to make peace and she texted me really brutal and hateful screeds accusing me of being a terrible person, brother, and father to my kids. It was really nasty. I kept asking to talk on the phone, but she refused and the texting chain devolved from there. I never resorted to swearing at her or accusing her of anything, I did my best to practice non violent communication, and expressed how she needs some accountability for how she talks to me, and the silent treatment isn't the answer. Then she insinuated my texts were gonna send her into a suicidal state so I backed off
That's all about a year ago. It gnaws at me that my kids don't have a relationship with her, she was always so good with them and they love her. My wife and I have done our best to explain it to them without villainizing her, and they have basically stopped asking about her at this point. Which is somehow more sad
I woke up wondering if there's any way to reach out to my sister to form a relationship where at least she can talk with my kids on the phone, or have her see them when we're in her area (which we sometimes travel to)
I had a thought to offer to call and let her say her peace for ten minutes, then let me talk for ten minutes, then see where we can go from there. Typing that out it seems like a bad idea. It's hard to forget the vile she texted me when she burned me down, but I can also remember decades of great conversation with a bright, smart, loving older sister.
Is that all gone now? I'm surprisingly at peace never having a good relationship with her again, but it feels rotten to not try to reconnect for the sake of my kids.