🙏 advice please 🙏My aunt wants control over an apartment she no longer lives in
Hello,
Sorry for the long text but I really need some advice from as many people as possible. Even if it's something I don't want to hear. 🙏 Thank you so much for anyone who reads it and gives advice. 😊
My situation:
I live in a three-story house. The key people are me (22) my aunt Michelle (50), my grandma Nadia (70),my mom Sarah (45) and my grandma’s brother Stefan(70). Initially, my mom, grandma, and I lived in the upper apartment. My grandma’s parents lived in the lower one until they passed away. Stefan has lived in the basement but he is part owner of the house (1/2). When I was about 10, my aunt divorced and moved in with her two sons (one is 1 year younger than me and one is 5 years older). My mom and I gave up space, making two rooms for ourselves in the middle floor (not a floor there are only 2 rooms), while sharing the bathroom and kitchen with my aunt’s family. Over the years, my mom and I always stepped aside or were pushed aside. My aunt’s family used the living room, kitchen and bathroom more. I never felt wanted in the upstairs apartment. Eventually, my older cousin and grandma moved to the lower floor after our great-grandparents passed. My cousins alternated between their parents but eventually, one cousin stayed here for about 7-8 years full-time. My mom and Michelle split costs 50/50 thought she had 2 children and my mom only had me.
Later, my mom moved out after meeting a partner, I was 16. She and my aunt argued, and my aunt pressured my grandma to let her live in the upper apartment alone. I was then told to use my grandma’s bathroom and kitchen, while my aunt kept the upper floor. She did some renovations (some wardrobes, air conditioning, repainting). I continued to share the lower facilities, while my aunt had the upper floor. Many things happened during that time that made me feel badly. About three years ago, my aunt moved out with a new partner, leaving the apartment empty.
Last year, I asked to move up with my dogs, paying her back for what she invested but less, since it’s been lived in. If I move, Michelle demands rent from me, though the apartment belongs to my grandma. She asked both cousins if they wanted it, though one has moved out and the other lives with their father ( also i live here and asked first??) . She proposed I pay her monthly sum €, cover all house costs, and give up my two rooms (including a terrace I added). She wants an extra garage and both my rooms in inheritance if I move up and of course the lower floor (where grandma lives). But if I stay below, she wants inheritance split equally.
My grandma wants me upstairs, but my aunt disagrees. I also invest in the house as much as I can and also help my grandma and Stefan with everything they need (Nadia is very fit so she doesn't need a lot) but an example; grandma had knee surgery and I drove her everywhere, helped with everything and my aunt came to visit her once (after she recovered). Of course I would do it any way but to show her character, i gave example. I feel totally left out like I'm not part of the family because only I have to pay my aunt rent (Michelle didn't pay rent to my mom after mom moved out and IF I would pay rent, I would pay it to my grandma- with that I wouldn't have a problem). She is looking for all options to keep me out of the apartment. I should also add that her new partner is very rich and she has everything she needs and if she would still live here i wouldn't dare to tell her to move out.
I would also add that I've been working since i was 15 and living without parents since I was 16. I pay for everything myself and have two dogs. Moving to a rental apartment sadly isn't an option for me, because I have dogs and rent prices in my city are so high I would barely make it through the month, meaning I could never save enough money to build my own home. I would also never leave my dogs and they have my grandma when I'm working so they do things together all day. I've also been with my partner for 7 years and we would really like to start living together but he recently opened a business so money is pretty tight for now but he is working very hard. Living at his parent's also isn't an option.
Im so sorry if some things don't make much sense, english is not my first language.
If someone has more questions please ask so i can explain further. I would really appreciate some advice.🙏
What would others do in my situation?
TL;DR:
My mom and I gave up space in our family home for years after my divorced aunt moved in with her kids. We shared kitchens and bathrooms while she eventually had almost two floors to herself. Three years ago she moved out with her new partner, and the upstairs apartment has been sitting empty ever since. My grandma (who owns the house) wants me to move into the empty apartment with my dogs, but my aunt refuses unless I pay her monthly money, give up the rooms I currently use, and accept changes to future inheritance arrangements that mainly benefit her. I’m not trying to take anyone’s inheritance or throw anyone out — I just want to live in an apartment that has been empty for years. What would others do in this situation?