Struggling with weird situation
My ex recently broke up with me shortly after before graduation because we didn’t have certain plans about the future and if we would be super far from each other.
I now recognize that I was an idiot for avoiding hard conversations, being flaky and talking instead of doing.
I talked to her a week later, and told her that I regret not doing more, and that I wanted us to work out. She told me we could potentially try again if we were closer, but right now it doesn’t work. We cried and embraced, it wasn’t super cold or hostile, but she acted like a stranger when I saw her a week later. I have been doing no contact, but I found a job two days after our conversation an hour from her.
I love her very deeply, and I recognize that I was the main reason for breaking up; she didn’t believe in me for good reasons - I wasn’t acting like the man I was supposed to be.
I am wondering, is it a bad idea to reach out and update and apologize at some point in a month or two, or should I stay in no contact? She dumped me, but I think it was due to my actions. I care about her deeply and want a future but I’m struggling with this decision.