u/Calm_Philosophy_7371

Please pray for me Brothers and Sisters. I am an inquirer in the Orthodox Faith, I’ve been attending a Orthodox parish since April and I had been researching and reading about it for around a year before that. I come from a non denominational/ Baptist background. As a baby I was “dedicated to God” in the Church of God but not baptized, just to provide some context. Lord Willing I will become a catechumen in the Orthodox Church soon. In a week or so I am going to be attending a free will baptist university with required chapel services several times a semester, the vibe I got from the tour I received was that people are stand offish and a bit confrontational, getting comments about wearing a dead person on my neck and thinking he’d hear any of my prayers (St Herman of Alaska) . Throughout my life I didn’t know about Orthodoxy but I seen a lot of Protestants saying outright hateful things and disgraceful things to Catholics. Being that there’s a massive conversion for many to Orthodoxy, I’m sensing this will be no different and in some ways worse since Protestants feel they’re losing their reach on many. I am looking for some advice navigating this time, I am also an older (30) student using my gi bill so there’s a few dynamics mixed in here and I’m trying my best to stay focused on my faith and my goals, but I’m really nervous thinking about all that I will deal with and hear coming from 99% Protestant circles in my classes and around the university. Can someone give me some advice? Maybe someone that has been in my situation? Thank you very much, God Bless.

I’m an inquirer, will be a catechumen soon when the Lord sees fit. I have so much anger inside of me and I hate it, I don’t know why I am like this and I’m at the point whether I do not know if my family and friends get anything from my existence aside from constant disappointment. I was one of those people who chased goals and achieved success early on in the Military when I joined the Marine Corps. My whole life I had anger issues and grew up in a household where I had to protect my mom from abuse frequently as a little boy. I also grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood where as a white boy I had to prove my self more times than not. I’ve gotten into at least 50-60 fights in my school years from defending myself from bullying. it’s like I understand the root of the problems but I can’t seem to figure out how to stop it. It’s affecting my Wife more than anyone, my Mothers heart is broken every time she gets a call of me acting irrational. I just want to cry and hide away from the world I don’t know what to do anymore I am having trouble trusting the Lords plan, please forgive me. Please pray for me I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate the burden I place on those I love. I’m a Veteran so I consider how my family may be better with those benefits and less stress. Stupid I know.

I feel discouraged because despite learning about Orthodoxy and Church History, believing and praying, repenting with my whole heart, going to liturgies… yet I still struggle with the sin of smoking Weed. I feel un worthy and like I am living a lie. Is anyone else going through this or have you been through this and defeated it? Thank you.