Miss someone you've never met
J, by all logic we never should have met. The randomness of the universe had us cross paths. Just two lonely people that found each other. I cherish the time we had together. Lifting each other up, being silly. Learning more about you. You know more about me than anyone in the whole world. Yet we're so far apart.
We believed in each other more than ourselves. That's not true, you saw the good in me. Even when I couldn't. I never thought I was enough for you.
I miss making you laugh, the joy I felt cheering you up. Every time my phone buzzes I think of you. The feelings flood back, the excitement, the feeling of connection. But I check it and it's not you.
I love you so much, and I know you love me too. Bittersweet to feel so close to you yet be so far away.
Maybe in another life, another timeline we're together and happy. That thought brings me an odd comfort. I understand why we can't be together. At the time I couldn't grasp it. I know you're right, even if I wouldn't admit it.
I lay in bed thinking of something I never thought I could have. We made each other better. I feel lost at times without you.
But you're here with me always, I hear your voice, the one You're so self conscious of. Telling me to be better, since I won't do it for me I'll do it for you.
You said you thought I'd hate you, I could never hate you, just the opposite. And that's the problem. I hope you'll forgive me for leaving you alone.
I wonder how you're doing without me. You're so much stronger than you think. I don't think you ever needed me, but I needed you.
I miss my best friend, you brought so much light to my life. My mind is still far away. Over there with thoughts of you. Imagining what it would be like, to meet you. For the very first time.
Forever is a long time. So we said goodbye, for now.