r/LettersForJ

I wanted to say I think you're cute

I know I am very strong in nature and sometimes that energy can be like an excited dog especially when I like someone

So I appreciate the time you give me and the way this makes me feel

You don't have to do anything even about these silly emotions 😂 it's not the point I just am enjoying it

I don't want anymore pressures in your life than you already do have

Just thanks for letting me be there

Maybe someday I can even explain why I like you so much so you can have a good confidence boost 😂

But it boils down too I feel safe :) everyone expects so much and when I don't fit the narrative or role they want they tantrum

You never did and just let me be 😂

Outside of like the dorky and geeky stuff too but that's all BESIDES the point. Any anyone else can provide all those things but they don't listen too well 😂

Like I said I don't want you to do anything with these emotions I just want you to smile and go awe well maybe I am pretty cool 😂

Catch ya later

-D

My Love,

I know everything is extremely hard on you and complicated right now. I had to do something today to protect myself and our little family and I know it hurt you. I saw your tears, I know they were real.

I've been telling you for years that what you have done and do hurts me but changes have never been made. I'm making the choice to be the change in my life. I don't know where this new path will lead or what will happen to us; know that with all that is going on, I still love you and always will. I fell in love with you back then for reason. You are not inherently a bad person, you are just making mistakes. All humans do. You need to decide to be a good person though and change those ways. I know with some self work you'll be who I fell in love with again.

I'm not texting this to you because I know how upset and hurt you are with me because of today. Protecting our little one is my number one priority. I know you are at that friends' house, I know you're probably drinking, crying, and lying about me to them. Please get better, make better friends, stop letting your family treat the family you created horriby, and make us your number one priority. I still want to fight for you but I can't let myself get hurt in the process anymore.

I'm choosing peace.

With all the love and fight in the world,

Your Love

All of it was a huge waste of time, J. The sad part is accountability, honesty, loyalty, fidelity all escape you. Drop the people pleasing and need to be fought over and just be real for once in your life. The drama is of your own making. Stop blaming the people you hurt.

J,
I never got a chance to say this to you but thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be at peace in that very moment in time. I don’t ever get a moment so when I did I was lost in the clouds. I appreciate your time and will always cherish it. Thank you for being the person I need.
Sincerely,

I get it. You hate me. Sorry I even wasted your time. I wish you so much happiness. I’m so sorry.
A

I hate that I miss you even though your exit was so cruel

I hate that I think about you even though you showed me what you think of me

I hate that I long for you even though you don't care about me

I hate that I write about you even though you'll never read it

I hate that if you reached out I'd listen to what you had to say even though I deserve better

I hate that I'd hug you even though you don't deserve the closeness

I hate that I'd cry on your shoulder even though you don't deserve my vulnerability

I hate that I still feel love for you

I hate that I still worry about you

I hate that I want to know how you're doing

But most of all

I hate me for not hating you

J- Why does my brain allude to you? Why my brain can't forget you? & my most gratifying daydreams have to go through you??? Lost case here, don't mind me. I'll never know what to say or how to behave.

Nobody likes a coward.

Way to put me off and fool yourself, all at once.

You’ve been made into a puddle and are convinced you should be grateful.

How did that happen?

A

I miss you so much j I know I always said in another life but that's taking to long I want you now

I’m terrified at how I’m smiling at my phone so much.
I love you. I know you mean it.

K

I miss you. I love you. Come home please.

-b

I fucking miss you baby girl.

OMG J, this sucks SO much. I miss you with every molecule of my being. I miss your warmth and breath, your touch and all the ways we laughed together. I wish it was different. I wish it didn't take me leaving to be considered and heard. I would give anything for the understanding to have come in time to have made a difference.

I am sorry that I was cold towards you that day. That must have felt strange and awful. I was already grieving a future without you, so I had a death grip on my emotions for the sake of composure. I didn't want to break because it would not have been right to put us in a position of comforting one another.

I want to ask that you never, ever, question my love for you. It is real, it is deep, and it is true. I would do it all over again, including this unbearable pain - because it was worth it. The second I shut your front door the memories started crashing in and breaking me, but I am welcoming them all as gifts. I will always love you. I can't not love you.

We had so much fucking fun together. Thank you for creating a world with me where we could give ourselves to each other. Thank you for accepting me into your life. You revealed so many truths within me, and I can only hope I did the same for you, and maybe you'll feel a similar gratitude towards me... one day. I believe we are better people for having loved each other.

You are amazing, beautiful and so deserving of an endless love. I have faith that you will love, and will be loved, again.

Love, A

Please don't stress- I wont write another letter or comment on anything that may be you. I may come here sometimes to chill/look at stuff, but i wont be annoying anymore

D and everyone curious, I can't bear seeing constantly that 'I have not made efforts?'

I have seen various posts on here by my ex, a J. If you are a viewer here and not him, you may say 'But how do you know it's actually HIM?'

Well it's pretty easy when you know someone well and I have seen the same story over and over about how many times 'he tried to reach out, but I ignored him'. Even reddit strangers can piece it together and I can't think of why you would lie not just to me, but to yourself?

I have said I'd meet you under any circumstance. I said if you have met someone, I would still see you. I explained the paper doc and nothing has changed from before. (you will know what I mean).

So D or J (i don't know your profile so using your actual initials).

I get it- you want nothing to do with me. I wont write anymore.

But for the love of god, who you say you believe in, don't LIE to everyone re my 6 weeks of trying to make a connection.

Don't lie to yourself. I was offering you my love and support under any circumstance- unconditional love. I know you are not well- would you be concerned if you knew I was not well?

I know in my heart now I have done EVERYTHING to try to connect so I can at least know I tried.

I'm sorry I must have looked at us more seriously than it was.

My mistake i guess

But please stop telling everyone I have not contacted you

From

xC (profile initial K)

I can’t keep pretending to be fine. The pain, sorrow, and guilt among many other issues I have stored inside this cage im locked in have become too heavy to carry. They say giving up is being weak, in a way it is but I do not feel weak with the decision I’ve decided to make. This is the lightest I’ve felt in years. There’s a massive difference in being weak than there is being tired and I’m so tired. I don’t have many people in my corner but the ones I consider apart of my life I truly am sorry for the pain I leave you with. When do I get to start doing things for myself instead of putting a fake smile on for everyone, everyday, every minute, every second. I want that smile to be genuine and for once in a very long time, I’ve prioritized myself above everyone and decided to do what makes me feel better. I hope the big man upstairs understands and can forgive.
Love, J

After being together for half of our lives, I knew there would be times you would pop in my head. We were friends long before we married, and that's the part I think about. I had a dream about you last night that made me wake up wondering how you are. The dream was so sad, and it made me think about your mental health struggles. I know you want nothing to do with me after the divorce. You made that crystal clear with the vile, hateful texts you sent. I am totally fine not having contact with you, but just know, a part of me will always care about your well-being on a platonic level. I pray you are well and will always keep you in my prayers.

-S

Hello again,

If you happen to see this, I'll make it short as I know I've written many long ones already.

Would you consider sending me a DM here so at least I know your profile? Could we possibly meet up for a hang, coffee, drink, whatever suits you? It's your birthday soon- I have not forgotten.

I would really love to see you in person, and I am not angry, I am not feeling defensive. I would like to see if we can 'be' together even for a day/night- to talk, heal, hug. Please remember I am a good listener and I will not judge you on anything. I just wonder if you feel any thoughts/thread between us still?

We CAN contact each other as I've said. I hope my many letters demonstrate my authenticity to you....jazz man!

I will leave this here and hope on the off chance, you may read this.

I want to support and love you, in any way I can. Because I love you unconditionally buba.

bebe x

You don't know I'm here, but plenty of people have tried to confuse me and pretend they are you. I seem to think of you all the time since I came on reddit what 5 weeks ago?

I wish now I had not logged on and saw something that seemed like it was from you. I was doing Ok- and then I saw that and all the emotions came flooding back.

I feel really sad as strangers and a hacker (literal identity theft on computer and phone) had tried to convince me and everyone that you were on here. So many people playing a game assuming they know anything about me. I find this bizarre and creepy. Hence not going to post much here from now on.

The D I remember, was very much passionate about music. Incredible player, underestimated his abilities. We talked in a language that was more comfortable than I have ever experienced.

For that 2-3 time period with him- he gifted me the freedom to be my full self. I felt a safety with that and he also told me, that with me his mask could be down.

Looking back, I really saw you. And your mask down, vulnerabilities, your ways of thinking- I feel so lucky to have been someone you could share that with.

I hope you know that even in my times of quietness, when I shut down. When I was silent. It was never to push you away or appear to not love you.

You see- I was as scared as you. Really scared of losing you.

Over the past 3.5 months since we broke up, I've learnt my own patterns and how it affects my communication. I've realised that my past traumas, more what happened before you and I reconnected in 2023. The trauma of being followed by W.C for 5 years deeply affected me. And I took several years of being completely celibate after ex before you. That was because I knew I was never choosing partners who were compatible on a deeper level. They were comfortable but I was lonely in those relationships.

Then a chance 'reunion' catch up with you. I honestly didn't expect to feel anything serious romantically and that could be partly as my 'shut down' wound from the events of 2016-2022 were still at the back of my mind.

But that first time you came over after not seeing you for 20 odd years and we watched Rocky Horror and then I made a move on you! (I never do that normally)???

Then things went from there and gradually, we started to get to know each other. It was a slow burn, which I sometimes think is the best kind.

We took time to get to know each other meticulously with our bodies, sharing our pain, sharing our dreams. Through all of that I was absolutely terrified.

Terrified as the love I felt was testing my walls and no matter how hard I tried to not fall i already had.

I will say this again and can only hope you may see it and be brave.

Do you think we could fix this, or try?

Were those moments of hours talking in your parents shed, my house, the kitchen, my parents house- were they as strong as a connection to you as they were to me?

Do you remember last summer in january (2025) outside hot day- on the tennis court?!

Did you want to collaborate musically- was that real?

Was I your best friend?

If any of this, is a yes- would you consider us meeting up or a phone conversation after tomorrow? (not here)

If we don't end up being in a couple (if that's not what you want now)- could we still be in each others lives, forgetting the noise around here and looking back at where we began and our history of how we met in the real place?

I hope you will let me know as I truly love you with everything I never even knew I had.

E or M

thing is he has never answered my questions.
Never!
No accountability for his actions and behaviour towards me.
Disappearing for weeks on end.
Would still love to know why he came back last time.
He played games, said he loved, looked me in the eyes.
Then left like oh so many times before.
I find out about the many chat sites, fuck sites, private message apps.
So now I know what we had was a lie.
He won’t respond, I contacted him, 3.5 years for what?
A lie, orchestrated by him.
Cuts like a knife and I’m left bleeding 🩸
Only a coward really, I will never be able to forgive or forget.
Hypocritical don’t you think?
Sitting on your high, high horse, demanding me to explain.
With all your betrayals.
How do you really sleep when it’s only you with your own truth.
Oh I know, like a baby.

NO PROMISES
I can’t promise I will never get mad.
I can’t promise I will will not get hurt.
I can’t promise that I can make everything better tomorrow.

I DO PROMISE
I do promise that I will try harder to be the man you need.
I do promise to do my best to not hurt your heart again.
I do promise that the future is a choose and we can do what we want and mold to it as we see fit.

I PROISE THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!!!!!