u/Disastrous_Gap_6582

I’m terrified at how I’m smiling at my phone so much.
I love you. I know you mean it.

K

You feel like home, even via email. I know you’re doing big, great things. I’m so proud of you. I need you to know the things I’m too afraid to say, and I am trying to be so respectful, kind of.
I’m sorry. I know I hurt you. I know you also were going through a lot at the time, and it was all messed up how we/I went about our real relationship, and I did what I did because I felt neglected and you were just working, doing school, and the time difference is wild. I fumbled. I would have moved me and the lil to you in a heartbeat, and I think I maybe still would. I don’t know why trusting you is effortless and I’m terrified. I know what I sent is semi-bad/misbehaved and I’m sorry, I won’t cross that line again. I want to be your friend, but I don’t know because I still have feelings for you. Before you reached out, I thought about you more often than I’d ever admit. I knew we’d never gotten a fair shot. You had just moved, I was drinking heavily, and I think what happened at the end was definitely negative attention seeking. I feel robbed of an opportunity to do life with you.