u/SuitableSwing8471

I get it. You hate me. Sorry I even wasted your time. I wish you so much happiness. I’m so sorry.
A

J,
I never got a chance to say this to you but thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be at peace in that very moment in time. I don’t ever get a moment so when I did I was lost in the clouds. I appreciate your time and will always cherish it. Thank you for being the person I need.
Sincerely,

You need to learn how to confront and fight for what you want. I can’t do the talking for you. No one can fix anything except you. So, hoping character to character won’t help you. You think it was easy for me, but it wasn’t. I got up and showed up for you. You need to stop blaming yourself for your condition and learn to embrace it. We’re all human. We’re not perfect, but by being genuine and kind, we show nothing but grace. It’s your choice, your life! Remember, no one can take it from you! You write your own stories and paths. It’s okay for flaws because they make us beautiful. Be kind to yourself. We all have our hardships and stories, but that’s okay. It takes courage to stand up and be yourself. That’s your final step to becoming the person you truly are. Never be ashamed of the love you carry on your sleeve or the smile you crack once in a while. I understand you mask a lot, but don’t forget how proud you would be of yourself if you were younger. So, do me a favor: hug yourself, love yourself, and thank yourself for being here today. You’re breathing. I’m beyond proud of you and everyone around you who held you tight and protected you. You’re so loved, and I hope you truly realized that. For me, I feel like an orphan, but it’s okay because I needed that. I needed to be alone and forgotten. It’s the only way I know how to live. Everything I said is true. I’m so glad you had everyone around to help you. To make you smile and laugh. I’m so glad you got to see what life is like without using substances and enjoying life by what you have around you. It’s hard to see that in those dark moments, but you did it. You had the biggest smile on your face, and I thanked God for protecting you. I’m so glad you got to shine, even if it was a mask. You still shone. I’m glad the light finally reached you. Now, keep shining 💙

Godspeed
One love

Amazing days ahead. Happy today is going nicely. I have finally had a place to relax and zen.

You would never question my presence by your side. This question only applies to those who are physically next to me. For those who are unsure, I want to assure you that I don’t cross boundaries. I wish them well and move forward. Those who can’t comprehend me should stop fearing a genuine and kind person. I have no ill will; I simply want to demonstrate what respect and kindness look like. People who I don’t get along with well won’t be throwing rocks at your glass house. Don’t worry, I’m not seeking revenge. I don’t take my pain back out on you because I don’t repeat history. So, who am I? May you ask, I am everything I say I am. I was born in the most challenging circumstances with nothing but myself to rely on. So, don’t let appearances deceive you; it took a great deal of effort to understand the psychological aspects of people’s perceptions and put myself in their shoes. When you learn to understand this, you will never worry about how you carry yourself. Because I know I have left a lasting impact. So, ask me who I am. I am the woman who crawled out of hell gates and emerged as a warrior in the battlefields, showing people that they should never give up. Never let the “what ifs” go unchallenged. Never judge. Show love and compassion. Show that you can conquer anything in life, regardless of your emotions. I am HER. -! Gods angel 🦋💙🩵

Ladies and gentlemen, don your armor and step into that battlefield because nothing is more empowering than fighting to emerge victorious. If you can’t find me, I’ll be there on that battlefield.

One Love 🩵💙🦋✨✨✨-A 🕯️

You never caused me any pain. Instead, you made me realize the depth of the pain I’ve been hiding from. Thank you for giving me the space to heal and confront my own struggles. I’m finally getting the help I truly needed for so long. Thank you for never leaving. Thank you for being my comfort place. I cried to you, and finally, it felt so liberating. You opened up things I’ve questioned for years. I never received the true help I needed back then. Now, I am, and I’m excited to finally get all the help I truly deserve. Just know that you can always reach me. Never feel like you can’t. People make mistakes, and I know what I hold no grudges. I forgive you. Please release the pain you hold yourself too. So, we can finally breathe normally again. Let’s embrace new beginnings for the sake of the future. ✨ The past is the past, and I’m already moving on. But please, forgive yourself. It’s okay. I promise I’m okay. Please trust me.

I’m freezing and just want someone to hold me for once. Someone to love everything about me. Regardless of these flaws. I know my heart is gold. I’m not asking for you to dig and make my life perfect. I learned with happiness it’s not about how much you have it’s about who is there when you got nothing. It’s crazy to see the ones who keep leaving you cold on purpose. It’s like they love access but want nothing to do with maintaining. That’s why I’m turning the heat up. Enough with these freezing nights. I’ll find someone that wants to hold me and cherish me. Maybe even rub my back without crying about doing it. See everything I asked from you was free. Nothing had a price tag. But I learned one thing actually did it was me. I was worth it all. While you hoarded me and never cared to change. I leveled up in every way.

I feel the fire within me. I refuse to lie down or sit. I will rise, regardless of the blows I receive as I fight these battles. Tears stream down my face as I struggle. Now, the rain arrives. It touches the fire within me, leaving behind only the remaining ashes. These ashes are scattered everywhere, throughout the chaos. The good and the bad, every piece of me is there. But if there’s one thing I would like to leave behind, it’s pieces of me scattered among those I’ve crossed paths with.

I’m so lost but yet again, I always was. Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting in the wind wanting to start again? My answer is yes. So I’ll drift into the wind even more.

Sometimes I sit here and can’t wrap my head around what is happening. I feel like I’m lost in space. Gravity has been going in different ways. I can’t catch my breath. Finally I was starting to understand what I needed. A chance to breathe without any noise. I stopped on the moon. How I love the moon at night. Something about sitting on top of your car and just looking up. It always brought me this peace. After a while, the healing journey started to begin. The quietness that I needed to heal from chaos. So as time went on, I picked up the pieces that fell apart. That process took forever for me. I had to look at things I closed behind for so long. But I’m so glad I did and faced it. Now I’m ready to come down and enjoy looking up at the peace all of this brought me. So I take it with me. Wear it as my armor. To show everyone no matter the darkness you can find light again. Take the time you need to heal from the chaos. Things you locked away to stay in survival mode. Now take a deep breath. Take the key unlock it and release yourself from hell it holds on you. So you can live again. So you can enjoy the night sky in peace again. Do not live in space going in all different directions in your head space. After you’re done lock it up again but wear it as your armor. Life is beautiful and it’s not worth spending year after year locked up from the pain. Release and free yourself because you’re worth it.

Red, orange, yellow. So nice to meet you.
Green, blue, purple what’s the shade for.
Pink so vibrant of you.
Brown, white, and black we’re not defined by the coat we wear.
Color is the way of life. You accept everyone for who they’re no matter. We all get one life. So light it up and be proud of the person you are. Never let anyone get the best of you regardless of the hate. Stand above it. Because you are the only person who can control how you feel about the hate. So make light out of it with your loving eyes. We didn’t come this far to go back. History is a reason for us to see, read and feel. Yes, sometimes history repeats itself so we learn another life lesson. But also, remember history is here to remind each other there’s no room for hate. We the people unite. So just remember never hold hate in your heart. Always lead with love. This includes people with disabilities, addictions, mental health issues because at the end of day we all have something in common. Our souls. They never forget so always be the reason they remember❤️

-with love and light

I never knew what life can be. I always was beat downed to my core. I never had a drug choice to erase my numbness. I never got to feed the pain. So I dissociate. My life is so numbing. Everything bad that can happen to me happens on repeat. I just want to scream the four letter word x but no one will save me. It will constantly be this cycle of shame and hate. I have nothing left to give I’m all out. It’s like angel who loses its wings and now is stuck on the floor. Crawling to be scene. Just something anything. Please don’t let this cycle repeat. I can’t handle it except now it’s even more deep. I don’t see the light the darkness is swallowing me. I’m tired of being everyone’s punching bags or doormats. It really takes a toll. Maybe my free is just disappearing all around. Getting lost is the only thing close to free I will have. So now again lost in a world while everyone sees. Just a sad person wishing to be free.

I never knew what life can be. I always was beat downed to my core. I never had a drug choice to erase my numbness. I never got to feed the pain. So I dissociate. My life is so numbing. Everything bad that can happen to me happens on repeat. I just want to scream the four letter word x but no one will save me. It will constantly be this cycle of shame and hate. I have nothing left to give I’m all out. It’s like angel who loses its wings and now is stuck on the floor. Crawling to be scene. Just something anything. Please don’t let this cycle repeat. I can’t handle it except now it’s even more deep. I don’t see the light the darkness is swallowing me. I’m tired of being everyone’s punching bags or doormats. It really takes a toll. Maybe my free is just disappearing all around. Getting lost is the only thing close to free I will have. So now again lost in a world while everyone sees. Just a sad person wishing to be free.

We lurked now I see you lurking but why can’t you just peep. Is it because you’re afraid of….. vanilla with a hint of lavender. Mmmmmmm now since I’m close which I’m so so close to taking out majority of the pain. Now I’m going to play roulette. See to play like the joker you need to actually have the mindset as the joker.. Well night night you think I can’t sleep at night honey it’s Reddit not tmz. Thank god I have brains 🧠 now what is my real name. Do you wanna play a game? Or be in a room with Annabelle pick your poison ? Maybe Freddy will come out and play with a little scream but too bad I’m in a room full of a spoof movie characters like scary movie. Cindy the tv it’s leaking? Here comes the grudge from the movie ring. Beat my ass I will be fighting. Because the thing is with me don’t ever think I won’t know a game or two about the conjuring 4. I didn’t know we were playing hide and seek. But I guess that’s what happens when you can’t figure out which beast you brought out like the movie split. But don’t worry the second part just look up the movie glass. How everything lines up. Don’t throw rocks at glass houses. So which scene can you have fun with? Because I sure do love my watchers scary movie night pleaseeeeee !! I’ll bring the popcorn oh btw my favorite soda is Diet Coke, now if you trick me with regular coke and it wasn’t zero sugar but my popcorn had no butter you best believe we be fighting x I’ll be throwing them dueces up like chuckie

no way or whatever. I truly never wanted you or cared to even waste my time. I knew you had one motivate and it was to hurt. I wish you just took your bs to yourself but instead you caused harm to everyone. You kept pushing and pushing and I said no. No. No stop. No no and you didn’t take that kindly. Instead you threw yourself on to me even more. To the point of bringing back when I was SA WHILE PASSED OUT DRUNK BY MY Friend. She thought it would be funny to hurt me while I was passed out. Rubbing me up and down while everyone just watched. She thought my sadness would be an excuse for her touching me all over. To make matters worse she took a picture and sent it all to my friends laughing at me. Thank god I have real friends and got this evidence. So now I have that deep in my chest. So instead of being an HONEST PERSON YOU CREATE A NARRATIVE THAT I WAS TALKING TO YOU AND GOING OUT WITH YOU. On my dead body I would never touch you. You disgust me. You use women as a tally on your poster board of who you ABUSED AND ASSAULTED. You’re a piece of shit. You never will own up to anything instead you keep going with this narrative that we talked other than friends. No we didn’t. Get the hint. I hope your girlfriend leaves you and see the animal you truly are, you are a fckn shit of disgrace of a person. You took two innocent people talking to each other liking each other and used it for your advantage to sexually assault me. You’re fucking disgusting and I wish the worse shit on you. The fact you haven’t cleaned this up and still go on about this is horrible. I DESERVE JUSTICE AND SO DOES J. You fckn pig. The fact that you got to run clean from your actions, congrats. You’re a horrible person and I hope that shit burns instead of you to the core.

I truly could care less if you regret because let’s get something straight. You were jealous and you took advantage of me in front of eyes and made up a whole story. You hurt me in ways I can’t breathe. I lost everything bc of you. I cry myself to sleep of being scared to be tortured like that ever again. Kissed me while I kept pushing you away. You pulled my neck and push whatever stuff into me it was fckn disgusting 🤮 makes me want to vomit. You’re so gross. Meanwhile I hate me touched because of the first reason. Second reason is because my sister use to beat the living shit out of me and smash my head on the floor from 4 grade on. So mind you . You crossed 2 boundaries of mine you fckn touched me and you lied on me. I hope you rot to the core. I will get justice for what you did. Piece of xrap I gave you so many chances to own up and fix this and nw I will be taking shit into my own hands.
You think you can run but truth be told you can’t hide. Thanks for bs I will be pressing charges.

I hope you get the hell you deserve. You’re sick and a very horrible person.Never speak or look at me ever again. You were never a friend. You’re vile, mean and bitter. Finally the truth has got out and now you can have a taste of your own medicine. What you did to me and used every person around you for what you created. Is disgraceful and you will never admit but you’re nothing but a cyber wanna be and bully. You hate the life you live I would too, if I was pretending to be someone I’m not. Enjoy your karma! You say I DID THIS TO MYSELF BECAUSE HOW I PUT MY SELF OUT THERE. I was only talking to one person. You got jealous of my confidence. My allure. Something you will never have. Because you’re so mean and bitter when you see it.

Oh wait you already live it. Now I can just show everyone who you truly are. So thanks for that. By the way, I actually cared for you as a friend. The fact you watch your so called friend cry day and night for what you caused and never once apologize to me. You’re a horrible human being. I will never ever forgive you for what you did to me. So say what you want I’m crazy but let’s not forget who was watching and creating all of this from me liking one person. You! Enjoy your life lesson because now I will be showing my side with all the proof. You put me through hell and back.

Sincerely,
A friend now that wants nothing to do with you.

Creep

Something I always wanted but yet my hands can’t touch it.
As soon as I claim it. It vanishes in thin air.
Sometimes I feel like it’s game.
Hot and cold.
Push and shove.
Never know the direction I will se next.
They say love is patient love is kind.
But what kind of love is this.
I yearn for this.
Only if ?
Like Snow White I’m still sleeping.
Waiting to be woken again.
Just like Cinderella dropping her shoe.
Will he return it?
Get in the f**** truck!
That’s my type of love.

🕯️