I fink you freeky
OMG J, this sucks SO much. I miss you with every molecule of my being. I miss your warmth and breath, your touch and all the ways we laughed together. I wish it was different. I wish it didn't take me leaving to be considered and heard. I would give anything for the understanding to have come in time to have made a difference.
I am sorry that I was cold towards you that day. That must have felt strange and awful. I was already grieving a future without you, so I had a death grip on my emotions for the sake of composure. I didn't want to break because it would not have been right to put us in a position of comforting one another.
I want to ask that you never, ever, question my love for you. It is real, it is deep, and it is true. I would do it all over again, including this unbearable pain - because it was worth it. The second I shut your front door the memories started crashing in and breaking me, but I am welcoming them all as gifts. I will always love you. I can't not love you.
We had so much fucking fun together. Thank you for creating a world with me where we could give ourselves to each other. Thank you for accepting me into your life. You revealed so many truths within me, and I can only hope I did the same for you, and maybe you'll feel a similar gratitude towards me... one day. I believe we are better people for having loved each other.
You are amazing, beautiful and so deserving of an endless love. I have faith that you will love, and will be loved, again.
Love, A