![[astro.com] Learn about myself: why am I like this?](https://preview.redd.it/3wxlwmqxykjh1.png?auto=webp&s=7f6b4afa7a2271f5343aa9c1202679ca01aadd1f)
I have been so curious about this for so long. I have always been super interested in hearing about my birth chart.
Recently I have been going through a hard time with myself and somehow my thoughts always lead back to this. What does it say about myself? What type of person am I?
Could someone help please? I would be so grateful :)
Hi everyone. I have lost my dad when I was 14 years old. I am now 25 and sometimes still feel just as lost, confused and in pain about it as I did before.
The cause of death was drowning but it was a very weird situation. Witnesses said they saw him walk in with clothes on and just kept walking and walking inside, further and further in some river in my hometown. It wasn't until maybe 30 minutes or so later that they realised he never actually came back out. All these years I needed some sort of closure and never had it and it hurts me so much because I need to know what happened.
My dad was an alcoholic most of his life and struggled with it. He lost his mum very young (she committed suicide by drinking rat poison) and I can't help but think that's one of the many reasons why he struggled so much and relied on alcohol.
Our family was very dysfunctional due to his alcoholism and I can't help but to blame myself for maybe not being as present as I should've been as a daughter but it was so difficult at times.
I can't help but wonder if this was a genuine accident or he decided to end his life. What was going through his mind? Was he suffering? Has he got anything to tell me? I would so love to hear from him as I have been struggling so so much with my mental health all these years but especially the last couple of months and been having pretty bad thoughts. There was so much left unsaid, it kills me everyday.
When he walked into the water apparently he left his phone and wallet on the grass but to this day I have not ever seen those belongings.
I need to know please, it's something that I have never ever been able to get over and I honestly doubt I ever will. Can someone please help me? I would be so grateful.