I'm struggle at the moment. I had a TFMR back in October 2024 and gave birth to my perfect little boy who simply couldnt stay. Since then I have had a healthy pregnancy and his baby sister will be one in August.
Life has been really busy since my world completely crumbled. I feel like the moment I got my diagnosis it shifted my mindset and knocked me off my entitled high horse where I believed these were stories that happened to other people and would never happen to me. I'm still one of the lucky ones as I have 3 earth side babies. 2 older siblings that loved through the heartache with me and my rainbow baby that reminded me that there can still be joy after life altering heart ache. My angel is always in my heart and on my mind but I feel recently he is very much at the forefront and the grief is heavily weighing on me the majority of the time. I'm getting married in September and it has always been the plan to use his ashes in our wedding rings to bring his presence to our special day and carry him with us going forward. I know in my heart that this is a beautiful way to honor his importance to us but actually bringing him to his final resting place just seems so final and it's eating me up inside. I used this group a lot in the early days and putting my feelings down for people who truly understood my pain gave me a release that I didn't have anywhere else. I haven't visited for a while but am scared to open up anywhere else as I feel.like people who don't understand will think that I should be over it and have moved on by now. Thank you for being my emotional dumping ground xx