they want us trapped and dependent on them, don't they?
hey everyone. I'm totally new to this reddit community, but ever since I was able to form thought I knew I didn't want to be a mother. I am turning 34 in July and have made it this far, THANK GOD. I'm in the process of a breakup with a man who knew from the start I didn't want kids, he thought I'd change my mind, that whole thing. um, I don't want to get into that part that much in this post. but I want to share a theory with you all.
I theorize that men want women to marry them and have kids with them so that we are trapped and powerless. even good men. they just don't realize this as a conscious thought. but like, why would this man fall in love with me, my power, my freedom, my childfree mentality, only to want to change it? he's Hispanic and his culture is very heavy on like, the women have babies and are stay at home mothers and the men work. well, what does that sound like to me? sounds like I'd be trapped. totally dependent on him. all my confidence gone. unable to leave. like ..... that's what he wants, right? by the way he's an INCREDIBLY KIND PERSON. he's an unbelievably wonderful person. but like, why am I all of a sudden not enough for him and he needs me to give up my entire body and life for him in order for him to see himself with me? we've been together 6 years by the way and he's been pretending he'll "never leave" me and all this stuff. there's more details to this I'll share but that's for another post.
that's basically my theory. I'm too powerful now. I still have my freedom, my own money, my body, my confidence. that's dangerous. he doesn't feel secure. in order to feel secure with me, he'd need me to give all that up for him. you know what I'm saying?
just messed up ...... I know us childfree people are a different breed, but I cannot fucking imagine loving someone so much the way we did, but not wanting to be with them anymore because they won't like, grow a child, go through a life threatening process that changes them forever, and then be stuck with a baby and a kid and an adolescent and a young adult and a .... forever...... yet again I know we're different because most people just like, want that SO bad. uuugh ..... after this I'm going to be single by choice because truly, this just is not fucking worth it anymore, and I want to give up sex because I am definitely remaining childfree forever, and I do not have the money to get tubes tied or removed at this time.